holden-wolfe - Hello Poetry

I have been away from myself for summers waiting for my blood to feel right the way it does before I’m ready to ache in ways I can’t carry myself - that moment where you feel all of what your life left you - those shards of glass you still carry up your sleeve or in your pocket for when you’re ready to need it The way I need to write but I’m too afraid to empty myself the need to suffocate(s ) me to a whimper a scream I cannot let out without unraveling momentarily too One can not strive for control and to write honestly

0

Dec 8, 2025

Dec 8, 2025 at 9:09 PM UTC

A Glance I’ve Seen Before

I have been away from myself for summers waiting for my blood to feel right the way it does before I’m ready to ache in ways I can’t carry myself - that moment where you feel all of what your life left you - those shards of glass you still carry up your sleeve or in your pocket for when you’re ready to need it The way I need to write but I’m too afraid to empty myself the need to suffocate(s ) me to a whimper a scream I cannot let out without unraveling momentarily too One can not strive for control and to write honestly

21

Salt in wind carried you here The first snow of a new decade And I did not take you with me

0

Jan 13, 2020

Jan 13, 2020 at 11:25 PM UTC

X.

Salt in wind carried you here The first snow of a new decade And I did not take you with me

3

Death came on a card inside the walls of me and my bedroom No clear answer, but when I put it down on the dresser I saw the skeletons of last winter Every time I look outside it’s dark again I never know if it’s the evenings that erase me, or the tide of the morning that pulls me under Whatever it is it follows me faceless

0

Jan 7, 2020

Jan 7, 2020 at 1:19 AM UTC

Death has no face

Death came on a card inside the walls of me and my bedroom No clear answer, but when I put it down on the dresser I saw the skeletons of last winter Every time I look outside it’s dark again I never know if it’s the evenings that erase me, or the tide of the morning that pulls me under Whatever it is it follows me faceless

12

winter nights black like womb starry and eyeless fated and dying to be wound and wolf.

0

Dec 12, 2019

Dec 12, 2019 at 1:02 AM UTC

Memento Mori

winter nights black like womb starry and eyeless fated and dying to be wound and wolf.

5

I watched his face fall sad like a statue on an ash covered balcony whispers of past tense murmered in half tense makes me too afraid to speak I know this because I know the return of a season looking back at you I feel you inside the recluse of the passing winds to see you, wishing hands that clutch onto an invisible death you hold to your chest reminds me of my own wars the sweat of a fever you can't make out of why do we turn away from one another when did love become fear of only losing have I not won all my battles? Had I only survived them? Am I a false king in a land of nothing, claimed by all?

0

Aug 4, 2019

Aug 4, 2019 at 5:26 PM UTC

The bleeding of August draft concepts

I watched his face fall sad like a statue on an ash covered balcony whispers of past tense murmered in half tense makes me too afraid to speak I know this because I know the return of a season looking back at you I feel you inside the recluse of the passing winds to see you, wishing hands that clutch onto an invisible death you hold to your chest reminds me of my own wars the sweat of a fever you can't make out of why do we turn away from one another when did love become fear of only losing have I not won all my battles? Had I only survived them? Am I a false king in a land of nothing, claimed by all?

17

"It was love at first sight, it was love at last sight, it was love at ever and ever sight." I stare at you, into the winter sun and wait for you to burn me there with red vision & red wrists beneath a blue sky

0

Jan 13, 2019

Jan 13, 2019 at 5:14 PM UTC

the little suicide that came when:

"It was love at first sight, it was love at last sight, it was love at ever and ever sight." I stare at you, into the winter sun and wait for you to burn me there with red vision & red wrists beneath a blue sky

9

The desert opened up her arms to me and it was the color of a bruise pink and blue yet still could see your changing face the way eyes in the mountains watch from a distance the size of god then, close enough again to answer to the caves we left in one another quiet drives leading to another end a silent pursuit to fill with sand It is here the graves of our ancestors are warm their bones spell out to say: love laid to rest will rise again in the spring (The way the desert flower will collect dew and tell no one) and this is the way I love you this is the way I love you

0

Aug 15, 2017

Aug 15, 2017 at 3:58 AM UTC

Desert love song

The desert opened up her arms to me and it was the color of a bruise pink and blue yet still could see your changing face the way eyes in the mountains watch from a distance the size of god then, close enough again to answer to the caves we left in one another quiet drives leading to another end a silent pursuit to fill with sand It is here the graves of our ancestors are warm their bones spell out to say: love laid to rest will rise again in the spring (The way the desert flower will collect dew and tell no one) and this is the way I love you this is the way I love you

18

The empty hours press against the windows of this room a quiet that keeps every death close in corners I wait for my turn to speak to the distance of the forgotten I could never reach *Does the boulder beside the riverbank remember my evening prayers on the longest journey home? Do the sunflowers still grow behind the rotting fence on the corner of the empty town?* walking away from them with envy at high noon. the time I wondered, "Could he ever love me again in the spring?" when we laid in the grass and I whispered, "Lovers have nothing" Every moon seen from the meadow through the cedar window frame or passing glances in store windows ******* honey through my teeth from happy vendors who won't remember me or every letter I wrote on hotel walls and napkins These words, these words undying marked the back of each wave onto lamenting pages for a blush colored youth or a dying star (these things soon and at the same time are alike)

0

Feb 17, 2017

Feb 17, 2017 at 6:22 PM UTC

These words, undying

The empty hours press against the windows of this room a quiet that keeps every death close in corners I wait for my turn to speak to the distance of the forgotten I could never reach *Does the boulder beside the riverbank remember my evening prayers on the longest journey home? Do the sunflowers still grow behind the rotting fence on the corner of the empty town?* walking away from them with envy at high noon. the time I wondered, "Could he ever love me again in the spring?" when we laid in the grass and I whispered, "Lovers have nothing" Every moon seen from the meadow through the cedar window frame or passing glances in store windows ******* honey through my teeth from happy vendors who won't remember me or every letter I wrote on hotel walls and napkins These words, these words undying marked the back of each wave onto lamenting pages for a blush colored youth or a dying star (these things soon and at the same time are alike)

31

staring outward like an empty house in the desert the tail lights of your words have left me the shadows of lonely porches collected winters too difficult to speak of keep my heart in jars of sand

0

Nov 6, 2016

Nov 6, 2016 at 1:43 AM UTC

Jar Heart

staring outward like an empty house in the desert the tail lights of your words have left me the shadows of lonely porches collected winters too difficult to speak of keep my heart in jars of sand

6

I wait in agony for the edge of dawn to stretch over me and pull me inside of you in our crystallized tide These nights are pitch and I am fading into the dark with it, never to be found

0

Aug 12, 2015

Aug 12, 2015 at 4:22 PM UTC

North of nowhere

I wait in agony for the edge of dawn to stretch over me and pull me inside of you in our crystallized tide These nights are pitch and I am fading into the dark with it, never to be found

4