hidden_and_forbidden - Hello Poetry

I'm sure when I was born I cried so much that no one knew what to do with me I'm sure I cried that much Because I couldn't talk yet Bcz anyone who meets me Will tell you I never shut up Especially when I'm excited I talk and talk And no one likes a talkative girl I never knew how to shut up When something didn't go my way I lit the world on fire Saliva was my gasoline And my mouth lit a spark And I watched the world burn Then cried with fistfuls of ash I got dumped once Bcz I couldn't leave him alone He said I'm sorry but I can't do this Everytime I open my phone There's a text from you So I'm sure you'll understand why When u said u don't like texting I cried And cried Until my tears fell down on the keyboard And this poem wrote itself

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Oct 13, 2024

Oct 13, 2024 at 4:07 PM UTC

Zip it

I'm sure when I was born I cried so much that no one knew what to do with me I'm sure I cried that much Because I couldn't talk yet Bcz anyone who meets me Will tell you I never shut up Especially when I'm excited I talk and talk And no one likes a talkative girl I never knew how to shut up When something didn't go my way I lit the world on fire Saliva was my gasoline And my mouth lit a spark And I watched the world burn Then cried with fistfuls of ash I got dumped once Bcz I couldn't leave him alone He said I'm sorry but I can't do this Everytime I open my phone There's a text from you So I'm sure you'll understand why When u said u don't like texting I cried And cried Until my tears fell down on the keyboard And this poem wrote itself

29

I remember an old guy he was an alcoholic hospitalized with me, he used to cut his cigarette filter so it guests stronger, I do the same sometimes, I wonder what he’s doing now. When we used to ask him he used to say “I’m already messed up there’s nothing left to ruin” I wonder if he’s okay now if he finally has something to ruin, I wonder if I do too, and then I remember you. I remember your eyes looking at me like I’m the only thing that matters in this universe, I remember, how u could know if I was asleep or pretending to avoid a conversation, you said my eyes smiled when I fell asleep, I dont know what you meant by that, but it made me smile. I remember you proposing to me with a pine cone, and promising me you will do it again one day, but for real. I remember spending two days locked in a car with you, you were worried about me, you wouldn’t leave, we slept uncomfortably, but we were still comfortable cuz I was in your arms and you were in mine. I remember dancing with you in the er as we waited for me to be admitted, it was cringy and cheesy but I didn’t care, in your arms the only thing I care for is you. I remember your lips on mine and how they tasted, I remember how the universe exploded but disappeared at the same time when you kissed me for the first time. I remember when You pinned me me against the wall and kissed me as if I was the only running river in a drought. I remember the flowers I sent you and how you keep them, I remember how u put my birthday gift in a box filled with those same flowers that you dried, it was a necklace a ring with wings, it was a promise. A promise that one day, we’ll have everything, we’ll have a house with a garden, and cats, so many cats, one day we’ll have kids and I’ll tell them how much their dad loved their mom, that’s how they’ll learn what love really is, one day we will have something to ruin, we will have everything to ruin, but we won’t

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Jun 24, 2022

Jun 24, 2022 at 12:22 PM UTC

Alcoholics, and something to lose

I remember an old guy he was an alcoholic hospitalized with me, he used to cut his cigarette filter so it guests stronger, I do the same sometimes, I wonder what he’s doing now. When we used to ask him he used to say “I’m already messed up there’s nothing left to ruin” I wonder if he’s okay now if he finally has something to ruin, I wonder if I do too, and then I remember you. I remember your eyes looking at me like I’m the only thing that matters in this universe, I remember, how u could know if I was asleep or pretending to avoid a conversation, you said my eyes smiled when I fell asleep, I dont know what you meant by that, but it made me smile. I remember you proposing to me with a pine cone, and promising me you will do it again one day, but for real. I remember spending two days locked in a car with you, you were worried about me, you wouldn’t leave, we slept uncomfortably, but we were still comfortable cuz I was in your arms and you were in mine. I remember dancing with you in the er as we waited for me to be admitted, it was cringy and cheesy but I didn’t care, in your arms the only thing I care for is you. I remember your lips on mine and how they tasted, I remember how the universe exploded but disappeared at the same time when you kissed me for the first time. I remember when You pinned me me against the wall and kissed me as if I was the only running river in a drought. I remember the flowers I sent you and how you keep them, I remember how u put my birthday gift in a box filled with those same flowers that you dried, it was a necklace a ring with wings, it was a promise. A promise that one day, we’ll have everything, we’ll have a house with a garden, and cats, so many cats, one day we’ll have kids and I’ll tell them how much their dad loved their mom, that’s how they’ll learn what love really is, one day we will have something to ruin, we will have everything to ruin, but we won’t

2

We tell children to be creative Think outside the box But then we shape them into the same people from the same mold Tell them to paint inside the lines All the same color Tell them holding their heads too high snaps their necks Make them into copies of each other All the same color Mother I want my elephants to fly And my ducks painted in every single color Just like my sister painted when she was three I want my books from a world we don’t know And my poetry to rhyme only when it wants to I want to paint my words Not in the same way others have While appreciate what other people painted their words with As long as we have different bloods running through our veins We will always be different But we all have blood running through our veins To remind us that we are the same Remind us to appreciate each other without putting each other down I want my skies pink And my grass purple I want my coffee to smell like roses And my tea to smell like the earth My wine to taste like the moon And my box to be the universe And whatever is beyond I want the universe in every soul to grow And glow And make this place a little less dark And I want my ducks in every color Just like my sister painted

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Jul 25, 2021

Jul 25, 2021 at 6:26 PM UTC

Ducks in every color

We tell children to be creative Think outside the box But then we shape them into the same people from the same mold Tell them to paint inside the lines All the same color Tell them holding their heads too high snaps their necks Make them into copies of each other All the same color Mother I want my elephants to fly And my ducks painted in every single color Just like my sister painted when she was three I want my books from a world we don’t know And my poetry to rhyme only when it wants to I want to paint my words Not in the same way others have While appreciate what other people painted their words with As long as we have different bloods running through our veins We will always be different But we all have blood running through our veins To remind us that we are the same Remind us to appreciate each other without putting each other down I want my skies pink And my grass purple I want my coffee to smell like roses And my tea to smell like the earth My wine to taste like the moon And my box to be the universe And whatever is beyond I want the universe in every soul to grow And glow And make this place a little less dark And I want my ducks in every color Just like my sister painted

33

she loves you with all her being she would give away her soul for you on the night of Christmas eve you killed her you killed the person who would run to you the person you would run to the angels sing and devils laugh monitors beep ****** on Christmas eve she bleeds cries screams she would run to you but how can she when it's ur knife in her chest she's six feet under u are oblivious to what you have done for her ghost will still smile for u her ghost will still hug you as you sleep wipe your tears when you cry for she couldn't find it in her self to hurt her lover even if he killed her but you will look like a fool as you dance with the ghost of the girl you murdered on Christmas eve

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Dec 24, 2020

Dec 24, 2020 at 11:01 AM UTC

****** on christmass eve

she loves you with all her being she would give away her soul for you on the night of Christmas eve you killed her you killed the person who would run to you the person you would run to the angels sing and devils laugh monitors beep ****** on Christmas eve she bleeds cries screams she would run to you but how can she when it's ur knife in her chest she's six feet under u are oblivious to what you have done for her ghost will still smile for u her ghost will still hug you as you sleep wipe your tears when you cry for she couldn't find it in her self to hurt her lover even if he killed her but you will look like a fool as you dance with the ghost of the girl you murdered on Christmas eve

26

your sister laughs at the to of her lungs while my tears water the pillow maybe the ashes on it will grow into a phoenix, probably not they say the phoenix rises from the ashes burns again then rises again then burns again then rises again, and the cycle never ends it feels like my life is going the same way crying in bed suicide attempts hospital beds and it feels like it's never gonna end but it ends though it doesn't feel like rising cause it happens again cause when I rise to the surface above the water it seems like I've forgotten how to take a breath it goes up and down but up doesn't feel good it's not as bad as down still, it feels confusing scary cause I know I will turn into ashes yet again your sister laughs I cry in my bed I keep it down so u don't hear a sound cause I don't want you to ask me why I'm crying I'll probably just end up lying saying I'm fine and I don't want your sister hearing me cry anyway the moon whispers goodnight but the drunk rooster screams wake up! I'm awake, rooster I always am but darling moon I'm dead inside

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Dec 12, 2020

Dec 12, 2020 at 10:02 PM UTC

the phoenix, the moon, and the drunk rooster

your sister laughs at the to of her lungs while my tears water the pillow maybe the ashes on it will grow into a phoenix, probably not they say the phoenix rises from the ashes burns again then rises again then burns again then rises again, and the cycle never ends it feels like my life is going the same way crying in bed suicide attempts hospital beds and it feels like it's never gonna end but it ends though it doesn't feel like rising cause it happens again cause when I rise to the surface above the water it seems like I've forgotten how to take a breath it goes up and down but up doesn't feel good it's not as bad as down still, it feels confusing scary cause I know I will turn into ashes yet again your sister laughs I cry in my bed I keep it down so u don't hear a sound cause I don't want you to ask me why I'm crying I'll probably just end up lying saying I'm fine and I don't want your sister hearing me cry anyway the moon whispers goodnight but the drunk rooster screams wake up! I'm awake, rooster I always am but darling moon I'm dead inside

40

It’s a sin It’s a fault I kind of want to scream I’m sorry To the whole world You’re destroying me By building me up Getting me down By helping me reach the top Oh stop But don’t stop Let’s stay away But not give us up Let’s have hope But let’s give up Let us laugh Let us sob I’m down the hill But at the mountain top I’m going crazy But my sanity doesn’t drop I’m alive But my soul gave up

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Feb 22, 2020

Feb 22, 2020 at 5:05 AM UTC

Destroying me by building me up (2018 poem)

It’s a sin It’s a fault I kind of want to scream I’m sorry To the whole world You’re destroying me By building me up Getting me down By helping me reach the top Oh stop But don’t stop Let’s stay away But not give us up Let’s have hope But let’s give up Let us laugh Let us sob I’m down the hill But at the mountain top I’m going crazy But my sanity doesn’t drop I’m alive But my soul gave up

23

Inside of him The whole universe existed But he refuses to see How beautiful he is He sees the good in every body He forgets the good in his He thinks he’s not lovable Well lovable darling is a soul like you The mix of colors The sunshine sunrise hue Sometimes we view ourselves As something we’re not even close to He says he’s the devil Well honey you have no clue Of how beautiful you are And how you believe something untrue I want to open ur eyes They’ve been closed for quite a few And I want you to see my darling lover The universe I see in you

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Jan 20, 2020

Jan 20, 2020 at 5:59 PM UTC

You

Inside of him The whole universe existed But he refuses to see How beautiful he is He sees the good in every body He forgets the good in his He thinks he’s not lovable Well lovable darling is a soul like you The mix of colors The sunshine sunrise hue Sometimes we view ourselves As something we’re not even close to He says he’s the devil Well honey you have no clue Of how beautiful you are And how you believe something untrue I want to open ur eyes They’ve been closed for quite a few And I want you to see my darling lover The universe I see in you

20

Dig ur claws into me why don’t you Shatter my heart of glass Stab every part of my body that still works **** me with ur words Dig into my skin And cut the pieces I tried to mend Break my life and my existence It’s already broken What’s the difference

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Jan 6, 2020

Jan 6, 2020 at 10:57 AM UTC

Claws

Dig ur claws into me why don’t you Shatter my heart of glass Stab every part of my body that still works **** me with ur words Dig into my skin And cut the pieces I tried to mend Break my life and my existence It’s already broken What’s the difference

10

Our love Is double suicide

0

Dec 13, 2019

Dec 13, 2019 at 1:33 PM UTC

Untitled

Our love Is double suicide

2

What is it like to play the last card Playing with cards from the shards of your heart What's it like to see in the dark light a little spark What's it like to see in black and white What's it like to feel a rainbow inside What's it like to feel it all together What's it like to enjoy but suffer Ask me what it feels like trust me I know What it's like to laugh when you have suicidal thoughts What it's like to have tears of joy While the monsters in your head play with your heart like a toy And make you cry and cry Cry over and over When pain is your drug and you haven't been sober You always tell yourself it's gonna be over But what is it the joy or the torture When will you hang a rope to your collar And the blood fro your wrists keeps pouring over and over Or maybe one day your heart won't be polar and black and white will burst into the sky and a rainbow writes It is finally Over

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Nov 28, 2019

Nov 28, 2019 at 12:20 PM UTC

Playing Cards

What is it like to play the last card Playing with cards from the shards of your heart What's it like to see in the dark light a little spark What's it like to see in black and white What's it like to feel a rainbow inside What's it like to feel it all together What's it like to enjoy but suffer Ask me what it feels like trust me I know What it's like to laugh when you have suicidal thoughts What it's like to have tears of joy While the monsters in your head play with your heart like a toy And make you cry and cry Cry over and over When pain is your drug and you haven't been sober You always tell yourself it's gonna be over But what is it the joy or the torture When will you hang a rope to your collar And the blood fro your wrists keeps pouring over and over Or maybe one day your heart won't be polar and black and white will burst into the sky and a rainbow writes It is finally Over

45