Puno ng init ang unang higop ng kape
Nakakapaso ngunit ramdam mo ring gumuguhit ito sa iyong mga ugat
Hanggang sa umabot na ito sa iyong pusong bumibilis na ang pagtibok
Sa iyong mga kamay na walang tigil ang panginginig
Sa iyong mga matang mulat na mulat sa hating-gabi
At sa iyong mga bibig na nananatiling bukas at handang sabihin ang lahat ng ninanais
Ngunit sino ba ang iyong kape?
Ang nagbibigay sa’yo ng panandaliang lakas?
Sino ba siyang nagiging rason para manatili kang gising sa gabi kahit gustong-gusto mo nang matulog?
Sino ba siyang nagdudulot ng matinding panginginig sa iyong mga kamay at tuhod sa tuwing nakikita mo siya?
Sino ba siyang nagpapabilis ng pagtibok ng iyong pusong naghahanap lamang ng panibagong taong mamahalin habang inaantay **** mawala ang paso sa iyong dila na nadulot ng iyong nakaraang baso ng kape na punong-puno ng pait?
Ayan na’t naglalakad na siya papunta sa’yo
Inaantok ka pa at walang kamalay-malay na nariyan na pala siya
Papalapit nang papalapit hanggang sa nauwi nang magkahawak ang inyong mga kamay at ayan na naman
Ang pagbilis ng tibok ng iyong puso
Ang walang tigil na panginginig ng iyong mga kamay
Ang pananatiling bukas ng iyong mga mata
Kahit gusto na nitong pumikit, magpahinga, at mamaalam na sa ginagalawang mundo
Ngunit tulad ng epekto ng kapeng iniinom mo araw-araw
Papawi rin ang pananabik at pagkamulat ng iyong mga mata
Mapapagod din ang iyong pusong nalasing na sa dami ng kapeng iyong nainom na akala mo’y matamis ngunit nag-iiwan din pala ng mapait na bakas sa iyong mga labi
Titigil din ang panginginig ng iyong mga kamay
Sadyang panandalian lang at hinding-hindi na tatagal
Sapagkat siyang kape na nagbibigay sa’yo ng lakas
Ay siya ring kape na inubos mo hanggang sa huling patak
Jan 2, 2018
Jan 2, 2018 at 11:45 AM UTC
They said we can't be together
because our stars don't align
They said our temperaments simply
can't be put together
They said you're a constellation and
I am nothing but a comet passing
by
You said we'd show them that our
stars do align
You said we'd show them that we
can manage
You said we'd show them that I am
not a comet but a meteor shower
But you lied
And that's when I realized
I was indeed your meteor shower
Keeping you happy for a while
But you left when you were no
longer mesmerized
You left when your eyes fell on the
Northern Lights
You love with your eyes
And I die a little every day knowing
that you never loved me with
your heart
Apr 25, 2016
Apr 25, 2016 at 11:33 PM UTC
I am a liar when it comes to my feelings
Not because it's in my nature to lie
But because I fear that you would see straight through me
When I say "I'm fine"
I am actually wrecked inside
When I say "I hate you"
I actually mean I love you
You see, I am a liar when it comes to my feelings
Not because it's in my nature to lie
But because I fear that the truth in my feelings will push you away
When I say "Go away"
I actually mean stay
When I say "I'm happy for you"
My tears actually start to build up
I have said it twice but again, I am a liar when it comes to my feelings
Not because it's in my nature to lie
But because I want you to be happy
When I say "You look good together"
I actually mean I wish it was me
When I say "I hope you'll last forever"
I actually mean—
But yes, I am a liar when it comes to my feelings
Not because it's in my nature to lie
But because I want to believe that these lies are the truth
I want to believe that I'm fine
I want to believe that I hate you
I want to believe that I am happy for you
I am not always a liar
There is truth behind these eyes
So when I look you straight in the eyes
And tell you "I love you"
I actually mean it
Mar 21, 2016
Mar 21, 2016 at 10:52 PM UTC
Across from me at the bar table,
the bartender smiles and asks for my order
I tell him, "anything strong," and hand him ten dollars
I drink it up, feel its strength running down my throat
into my ever-growing stomach
I look up and remember what I've left at home
My wife sat in the bedroom alone,
My children pacing around and adapting the way women and men are supposed to be
I have taught my son power, strength, and dominance
While I have taught my daughter weakness and submission
Maybe that's where I went wrong as a father
Where all previous generations of my family have gone wrong
Raising me as a man seeing women as objects,
And I raising my son in the same manner
I take one last sip from my ten dollar drink
Taking it in along with my realizations
In front of me is the door of my home
where I have left women to shrink
in order to enlarge myself to the point of overfeeding my ego
And then I decided to shrink myself into the size
of the women I've shrunk
The size of my home has grown larger
Its proportions have expanded
Allowing each of us to occupy the same amount of space
And so I sat across my wife at the kitchen table
Looking at her at eye level
She smiles and I smile back
Jan 27, 2016
Jan 27, 2016 at 6:21 AM UTC
Pain is inevitable―
and so is falling in love.
But the only difference between the two,
is that love feels great and pain does not.
The inevitability of falling in love
is a choice,
a choice whether you'll let yourself fall,
or if you'll catch yourself before you do.
It is a choice,
a choice whether you'll fight for it,
or if you'll let it whither―
like the flower he gave you on your first date.
It is a choice,
a choice whether you'll hold on,
or let go
and never turn back.
People see love,
and they think they know what it is.
But in the world we live in today,
no one really knows.
People chose love,
but all they got was pain.
Nothing felt great.
They weren't happy.
People think love
is just a pastime, a joke,
or breaking the bed and leaving the next day,
with only the trace of their perfume left on the sheets.
But the worst thing,
is when people think
that love is a trap,
something that no longer exists.
Oct 29, 2015
Oct 29, 2015 at 12:35 AM UTC
Before I left, I asked how you were feeling.
You said you were okay.
But since when did okay turn into sleepless nights with your head resting on a pillow dampened by your tears?
Since when did okay turn into breaking wine glasses while getting drunk on the blood from your broken heart?
Since when did okay turn into drinking anti-depressants?
Since when did okay start to feel like hell?
If that's what being okay is like, then I guess I'm okay.
Oct 9, 2015
Oct 9, 2015 at 12:48 PM UTC
Parang may pagasa.
Parang.
Parang gusto ko na siya.
Parang.
Parang mahal ko na siya.
Parang.
Parang lang.
Oo.
May pagasa daw ako.
Oo.
Gusto ko nga siya.
Oo.
Mahal ko na nga siya.
Pero siya ba?
Naging oo na ba ang mga parang niya?
Baka naman ako lang pala.
Baka naman parang lang ako sa kanya—parang tanga.
Oo. Tanga nga ako.
Oct 9, 2015
Oct 9, 2015 at 12:30 PM UTC
Sa unang limang segundo, berde.
Sabi mo mahal mo. Sige, andar.
Sa susunod na dalawang segundo, dilaw.
Magmabagal ka muna.
Pagisipan mo kung tutuloy ka pa.
Sa huling segundo, pula.
Tigil na.
Wala na.
Maghintay ka nalang.
Magiging berde rin ulit yan.
Wag ka na mag-beating-the-red-light.
Pagbabayarin ka pa ng pulis at sasabihin sa'yong, "Nakita mo namang dilaw na yung ilaw, 'di ba? Ba't tumuloy ka pa?"
At ikaw naman 'tong nagbubulag bulagang sasabihing, "Akala ko po aabot pa ako."
Akala mo lang.
Akala mo kakayanin mo pa siyang habulin pero hindi na pala.
Akala mo maaabutan mo pa siya pero nakalayo na siya.
Akala mo.
Akala mo lang.
Pero mali ang iyong akala.
Sana.
Sana pala huminto ka na.
Sana pala hindi mo na hinabol.
Sana pala noong una palang, inalam mo na.
Sana inalam mo na, na di ka na niya mahal.
Kaya nung naging berde na yung ilaw, umandar na siya.
Pero nung umapak ka na sa gas upang habulin siya,
naging dilaw na yung ilaw.
Sana doon palang, tumigil ka na.
Sana doon palang, nagdahan-dahan ka na.
Pula na 'yung ilaw.
Tigil na.
'Wag mo nang pilitin pang habulin siya.
Pero ito ang sinasabi ko sa'yo,
Sa pagkakataong ito'y maging berde na muli,
Wag **** hintaying maging pula ulit ito.
Ang mga busina ng kotse sa iyong likod ang nagsasabi sayo, "Umandar ka na. Berde na ang ilaw. Ano pa ba ang ginagawa mo?"
Umapak ka sa gas, hindi para sa kanya.
Pero para sa sarili mo.
Oct 6, 2015
Oct 6, 2015 at 12:50 AM UTC