You and I
Wove a beutiful tapestry
all the right colors
in all the right places
but there is this red string
of lie
that got woven in
unseen by me
and when I saw it
and pulled it
the whole tapestry
fell apart.
And part of me
wants to weave it
right back
from the start.
Jul 2, 2015
Jul 2, 2015 at 11:46 PM UTC
It is 11:59 PM
and I wanted to write you a poem
but all I have are feelings
I guess I'm at a loss for words.
Jun 27, 2015
Jun 27, 2015 at 12:07 PM UTC
When I was 14
I wanted to die
and as I sat silent in my room
no longer crying
with the blade in my hand
on my wrist
I wasn't bothered by the fact
that I didn't write a note
to say how I feel
to blame everyone for my decision
to say my final goodbyes.
I didn't bother.
I was so sure they wouldn't care
wouldn't notice
wouldn't mind.
I'm almost 20 now
and I am still sure.
No one would notice.
No one would care.
No one would mind.
And unlike 6 years ago.
No one is with me
to stop me now.
Jun 23, 2015
Jun 23, 2015 at 3:32 AM UTC
A sudden remembering.
Flashbacks.
I was sick.
Tired.
It was raining.
I needed to rest
at least 15 minutes.
Sat at a table
in the food court.
Zoning out.
Then suddenly,
a memory...
of you sitting
in front of me
uninvited
unwanted.
Whispering words.
I remember the fear
and the annoyance
of feeling threatened
in a public place
without anyone
noticing.
It was always like this.
To the world you were
"Innocent"
Everything fine.
They knew you as jolly
Harmless
Fun.
They didn't hear
the malice,
they didn't taste
the venom
in all the words
you hissed
while smiling
at people
passing by
Pretending
everything's alright.
But it's not.
You were killing me
slowly
silently.
Harsh lashes
from your tongue,
vicious grips,
murmured threats.
They didn't see...
You were poisoning me.
Injecting fear,
Loneliness,
Rejection,
Insecurity
in my bloodstream.
Making me inhale
fumes of your
Judgment
and Hate.
Hiss...
like a snake.
You traitor!
You sneak!
They didn't hear.
They didn't see
what you did to me.
They couldn't
Wouldn't
ever
understand.
They didn't feel
your vice-like grips.
Didn't flinch
when you almost hit [me]
Didn't break
down
fall apart
when you called me
*****
*****
****
Not good enough.
I TRUSTED YOU.
I trusted you
to love me.
You lied.
I died.
But watch me
Rise.
Jun 20, 2015
Jun 20, 2015 at 7:54 AM UTC
Last night
was crazy. Wasn't it?
So crazy I had to
turn myself on auto-pilot
to be able to function properly.
And our conversation
last night
was something worthy
of spoken word poetry.
And it was so raw
with honesty.
And I realized that what I wanted
was not to un-love you.
What I wanted was to know
that you are okay with the fact
that I do.
And you took me by surprise
by going on auto-pilot too.
And I will stay.
I am here.
And I rest on the fact that you you will stay too.
You are there.
And that we will always find a way
to stay.
And you said it yourself.
I was amazed too
by the fact that not even the deepest
controversial issues
can stop us from enjoying conversation
with each other.
Darling I guess
that is just how we roll.
Jun 18, 2015
Jun 18, 2015 at 12:02 AM UTC
If you are reading this
get off my HelloPoetry page.
No. Just kidding. Please stay.
I love you.
And I want to thank you.
For letting me bother you that hot sunmer afternoon
while I was bored in the province.
And for talking to me everyday
after that day.
Thank you for being there
to encourage me
and for bringing out the best in me.
Thank you for believing in me.
Trusting me.
Thank you for wanting to protect me and take care of me.
Thank you for telling me I am enough.
For making me feel loved.
And accepted.
Thank you for not judging me.
For not rejecting me.
This isn't poetic at all.
But it is for you. :)
Jun 17, 2015
Jun 17, 2015 at 3:33 PM UTC
You and I, we play a dance.
For the past seventy-six days
we've come to know the steps
and learned to move to a beat
that only the two of us
seems to understand.
It doesn't matter
who texts "Good morning" first
or who starts what conversation
or who chooses the topic.
It doesn't matter
if we just sit in silence
comfortable in each other's thoughts,
"Talking" through telepathy.
It doesn't matter
that we can talk about the deepest
issues of our hearts
of our pasts,
one moment
then we start talking about
the most random,
borderline nonsensical,
often impossible and fictional
thought experiment kinds of stuff.
But it does matter
that we say "Good night"
and that often, we choose to sleep
at the same time.
It does matter
that we stay up late
as long as the other person
still has some rant he or she
has to say.
It matters
that we listen
and speak with honesty.
It matters
that you hold open doors for me.
It matters
that we show up early--
earlier than the time we agreed on.
That is something natural to me--
I hate being late.
But it matters
that you have never been late yet
to all our "dates"--
it matters because
you told me
you were always late.
It matters.
It matters to me
because, DT,
I love you.
I've chosen to love you.
But for now it matters
that I keep silent
because you are not ready.
It matters.
You matter to me.
Jun 17, 2015
Jun 17, 2015 at 10:40 AM UTC
I can't deny it anymore.
I am in love with you.
I didn't fall mind you.
I chose this.
I chose you.
And I can't help but feel
that I have chosen wrong.
That I have chosen too soon.
And it didn't help
that you chose me as your beta.
As your apprentice.
As your most trusted photographer.
Didn't help
that you nursed
all of my fangirl tendencies.
Didn't help that you claimed
to be my alpha,
my coach,
my captain.
Didn't help that you made me feel
like it is just the two of us in the pack.
Didn't help that you
verbalized my feelings
and told me
there is only us in the crew.
That I am your first mate.
The co-captain of a ship
That only the two of us can set sail.
The only thing is...
I am the only one shipping us.
And one day, you'll go canon
with someone else.
And believe me darling,
those canons can sink our ship.
Jun 16, 2015
Jun 16, 2015 at 10:32 AM UTC