hello_blue - Hello Poetry

i. if i came to you with a shroud over my eyes, would you ask me why i’m hiding? there’s a whole lot of love, you used to say, and i would stay quiet, while my eyes overflowed with the least of it. i’ve got lessons to learn, i’m trying to escape it. i’ve got a lot to grow, but i swallowed the seeds- hey. will you kiss me again? you used to tell me that the world is our constellation, that we are all dots connected. will you go? or will you craft me into your grand masterpiece, because i’m still waiting. the best of us lies in between my sheets, in words i can’t say because they burn my throat. i’ve always been good at swallowing **** whole. ii. this is where it started: her lips on my neck, her hands around my neck, doors locked, eyes locked, fingers interlocked, then wandering, but then: high dives. and her skin is soft beneath her t-shirt, and her eyes are heavy beneath her bangs, and her body’s weighted blanket as i lie beneath her. some bit of drowning, and i wanna swallow her whole, hold her quiet shaking in my palms, i’ve a palm on her chest and suddenly we’re just gone. so all i remember is her mouth and her skin and her, and all i want is her mouth and her skin and- next time she asks if i’m alright, she guides my hands. she leads me to her jannah, to her atlantis. my hands are under her skirt and my eyes are nervous and she tastes the way she did when we were drunk in her kitchen and i ask her what’s okay and she says it’s okay okay. and for a moment i’m all she wants.

0

Sep 13, 2020

Sep 13, 2020 at 7:16 PM UTC

Untitled

i. if i came to you with a shroud over my eyes, would you ask me why i’m hiding? there’s a whole lot of love, you used to say, and i would stay quiet, while my eyes overflowed with the least of it. i’ve got lessons to learn, i’m trying to escape it. i’ve got a lot to grow, but i swallowed the seeds- hey. will you kiss me again? you used to tell me that the world is our constellation, that we are all dots connected. will you go? or will you craft me into your grand masterpiece, because i’m still waiting. the best of us lies in between my sheets, in words i can’t say because they burn my throat. i’ve always been good at swallowing **** whole. ii. this is where it started: her lips on my neck, her hands around my neck, doors locked, eyes locked, fingers interlocked, then wandering, but then: high dives. and her skin is soft beneath her t-shirt, and her eyes are heavy beneath her bangs, and her body’s weighted blanket as i lie beneath her. some bit of drowning, and i wanna swallow her whole, hold her quiet shaking in my palms, i’ve a palm on her chest and suddenly we’re just gone. so all i remember is her mouth and her skin and her, and all i want is her mouth and her skin and- next time she asks if i’m alright, she guides my hands. she leads me to her jannah, to her atlantis. my hands are under her skirt and my eyes are nervous and she tastes the way she did when we were drunk in her kitchen and i ask her what’s okay and she says it’s okay okay. and for a moment i’m all she wants.

11

it's just us in this hazy bedroom. me & you, your mouth & my neck. i know that these bruises are the kind only love leaves. your teeth, they sink into my skin like i am a fruit forbidden from your tongue, like i am a fruit you needed to taste even if it meant succumbing to the shame of sin. but there is no shame here, & i'm only allowed to glow, i'm only allowed to sing (to bleed) when you leave me little stab wounds onto my bare skin with the sharp edge of your canines. with your animalistic passion. & when god turns the other way, my nails scrape your skin, digging through your flesh to search for the paradise that lies underneath. you ask if i have ever felt so holy, & i can only respond with this hot spring of tears down my cheeks & eyes that beg you to devour me. you stab your way into my fallen kingdom. you wash over my collapsed temples. you bite into my fruit. you cry amen & my choir follows suit.

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Dec 9, 2018

Dec 9, 2018 at 3:15 PM UTC

ritual (or sacrificial stab wounds)

it's just us in this hazy bedroom. me & you, your mouth & my neck. i know that these bruises are the kind only love leaves. your teeth, they sink into my skin like i am a fruit forbidden from your tongue, like i am a fruit you needed to taste even if it meant succumbing to the shame of sin. but there is no shame here, & i'm only allowed to glow, i'm only allowed to sing (to bleed) when you leave me little stab wounds onto my bare skin with the sharp edge of your canines. with your animalistic passion. & when god turns the other way, my nails scrape your skin, digging through your flesh to search for the paradise that lies underneath. you ask if i have ever felt so holy, & i can only respond with this hot spring of tears down my cheeks & eyes that beg you to devour me. you stab your way into my fallen kingdom. you wash over my collapsed temples. you bite into my fruit. you cry amen & my choir follows suit.

3

i. i've been praying all week for my shaky bones to harmonize with the crash of the city downpour, but right now they just yearn to collide gracefully with the strong bones of someone who has yet to learn the meaning of 'rhythm'. i ask myself, staring out at the rain, "what does it mean? to conduct an orchestra of chaos? of thunder?" ii. i've been praying for this grief to be good to me, to solidify my roots, to ground me & make me the version of myself that i couldn't be when my heart was still at its fullest. i can't stop begging for loss to be what makes me before it breaks me. iii. i've been praying for an autumn angel again, to remember how it feels to be so fragile beneath the cool & careful touch of another that i can't help but shiver / revive / shrivel / fall / die. (one more fallen leaf lain to rest among the others.) maybe this month i will rest again, my ghosts whispering "suddenly" or "finally", knowing it is all the same.

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Dec 4, 2018

Dec 4, 2018 at 6:46 PM UTC

"november" (or, ****** knees for the fall)

i. i've been praying all week for my shaky bones to harmonize with the crash of the city downpour, but right now they just yearn to collide gracefully with the strong bones of someone who has yet to learn the meaning of 'rhythm'. i ask myself, staring out at the rain, "what does it mean? to conduct an orchestra of chaos? of thunder?" ii. i've been praying for this grief to be good to me, to solidify my roots, to ground me & make me the version of myself that i couldn't be when my heart was still at its fullest. i can't stop begging for loss to be what makes me before it breaks me. iii. i've been praying for an autumn angel again, to remember how it feels to be so fragile beneath the cool & careful touch of another that i can't help but shiver / revive / shrivel / fall / die. (one more fallen leaf lain to rest among the others.) maybe this month i will rest again, my ghosts whispering "suddenly" or "finally", knowing it is all the same.

3

i want to tell a story about the colors in the trees. i want to tell you about the quaking in my hands. i want you to know where the rain falls, how the crashing voices sound like waves in the night time, tugged tides tied to the moon like a leash to a dog. i want to give you something to regret. i want you to recall how i, in all of my innocence and passion fell over you (in concentrated lust but also romance) on that day in late may, how you held my bare body against yours how in that moment i remembered nothing but skin and skin and skin, nothing but firsts, but blessings but i want you to wonder how the holy swallow their love. (i have confirmed, they do it like one would pomegranate seeds- with their eyes shut, but you wouldn't know) i want you to believe you lost a good thing. there's love grown in my belly the way i was told watermelon patches would when i was young and didn't know any better. i want to say that i didn't know you would destroy me. that the rips under my skin were a shock the ice-pick to my heart was unexpected. i want to say something but all that comes out is i'm sorry not knowing what i'm sorry for.

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Oct 1, 2018

Oct 1, 2018 at 1:43 PM UTC

coastline cottage (new england)

i want to tell a story about the colors in the trees. i want to tell you about the quaking in my hands. i want you to know where the rain falls, how the crashing voices sound like waves in the night time, tugged tides tied to the moon like a leash to a dog. i want to give you something to regret. i want you to recall how i, in all of my innocence and passion fell over you (in concentrated lust but also romance) on that day in late may, how you held my bare body against yours how in that moment i remembered nothing but skin and skin and skin, nothing but firsts, but blessings but i want you to wonder how the holy swallow their love. (i have confirmed, they do it like one would pomegranate seeds- with their eyes shut, but you wouldn't know) i want you to believe you lost a good thing. there's love grown in my belly the way i was told watermelon patches would when i was young and didn't know any better. i want to say that i didn't know you would destroy me. that the rips under my skin were a shock the ice-pick to my heart was unexpected. i want to say something but all that comes out is i'm sorry not knowing what i'm sorry for.

37

the world is spinning backwards. you look me in the eyes pull my hand to your mouth and graze your tongue along my 3 fingers my mind is spinning backwards. you planted this seed and i swear to god, as she is my witness, i pray that you return to grow it. my heart is beating backwards.

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Sep 14, 2018

Sep 14, 2018 at 11:38 AM UTC

rotation

the world is spinning backwards. you look me in the eyes pull my hand to your mouth and graze your tongue along my 3 fingers my mind is spinning backwards. you planted this seed and i swear to god, as she is my witness, i pray that you return to grow it. my heart is beating backwards.

9

i just want to be alone with you it's the only way i'll ever feel at home i just want to be known by you where the moon and stars embrace us in their glow in this place you can not erase the truth look into my heart because it's filled with stars for you all in all my heart it calls out into the blue sky i look into your eyes and i know that i can say hello, hello to forever hello (hello) i just want to feel you close to me it's the only way i think i'll ever feel whole i just want you to hold onto me while our hearts race and these lights are turned down low in this place you can not erase the truth look into my heart because it's filled with stars for you all in all my heart it calls out into the blue sky i look into your eyes and i know that i can say hello, hello to forever hello (hello) rip me to shreds i won't even mind just swear you won't try to leave me behind because love like ours only comes once in a lifetime i still can't believe you're mine i just want to be alone with you it's the only way i'll ever feel at home i just want to be known by you where the moon and stars embrace us in their glow i look into your eyes and i know i can say hello, hello to forever hello (hello)

0

Apr 29, 2018

Apr 29, 2018 at 8:56 PM UTC

hello (a song)

i just want to be alone with you it's the only way i'll ever feel at home i just want to be known by you where the moon and stars embrace us in their glow in this place you can not erase the truth look into my heart because it's filled with stars for you all in all my heart it calls out into the blue sky i look into your eyes and i know that i can say hello, hello to forever hello (hello) i just want to feel you close to me it's the only way i think i'll ever feel whole i just want you to hold onto me while our hearts race and these lights are turned down low in this place you can not erase the truth look into my heart because it's filled with stars for you all in all my heart it calls out into the blue sky i look into your eyes and i know that i can say hello, hello to forever hello (hello) rip me to shreds i won't even mind just swear you won't try to leave me behind because love like ours only comes once in a lifetime i still can't believe you're mine i just want to be alone with you it's the only way i'll ever feel at home i just want to be known by you where the moon and stars embrace us in their glow i look into your eyes and i know i can say hello, hello to forever hello (hello)

46

kiss me in your backseat like nothing has ever been like this before 'cause you kiss like a promise like you have never wanted anything more than me and just maybe, i'm crazy about you baby and i guess it's a mess but i've always loved messy things and with your lips on my neck, i feel like the best is yet to come and with my heart on my sleeve, i hope you can see it beats like a drum and i'm wrapped around your finger and my gaze might just linger on your face and i can't help but notice what we've made of this moment in this place is beautiful you're beautiful. in the streetlights, with your brown eyes looking into my heart hold me tighter, with your bright lights lighting up the dark you're lighting up

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Apr 23, 2018

Apr 23, 2018 at 8:57 AM UTC

backseat

kiss me in your backseat like nothing has ever been like this before 'cause you kiss like a promise like you have never wanted anything more than me and just maybe, i'm crazy about you baby and i guess it's a mess but i've always loved messy things and with your lips on my neck, i feel like the best is yet to come and with my heart on my sleeve, i hope you can see it beats like a drum and i'm wrapped around your finger and my gaze might just linger on your face and i can't help but notice what we've made of this moment in this place is beautiful you're beautiful. in the streetlights, with your brown eyes looking into my heart hold me tighter, with your bright lights lighting up the dark you're lighting up

17

in this pestilence and heartache, i doth lie here without remembering an instance where i shall not stay in this quietly bleeding prison my hands have groped the air for a phantom amongst the breeze but there is no longer a soul to spare when i am brought back to my knees. i feel my prayers are but thrown fruitless pleadings to the sky my truths to bear, are mine alone never will they be your plight you hold your head to my chest and we dream away the time this prison feels like a prison less when your heart is calling to mine

0

Mar 16, 2018

Mar 16, 2018 at 11:08 PM UTC

in this pestilence and heartache

in this pestilence and heartache, i doth lie here without remembering an instance where i shall not stay in this quietly bleeding prison my hands have groped the air for a phantom amongst the breeze but there is no longer a soul to spare when i am brought back to my knees. i feel my prayers are but thrown fruitless pleadings to the sky my truths to bear, are mine alone never will they be your plight you hold your head to my chest and we dream away the time this prison feels like a prison less when your heart is calling to mine

16

i put you under my spell and it seems just as well that yours has got me high this love that we keep together do we sleep under this moonlit sky we glow brightly in the dark like streetlights or like stars we both are made of light and if you hold my hand together we could stand let us never say goodbye

0

Mar 16, 2018

Mar 16, 2018 at 10:50 PM UTC

(untitled)

i put you under my spell and it seems just as well that yours has got me high this love that we keep together do we sleep under this moonlit sky we glow brightly in the dark like streetlights or like stars we both are made of light and if you hold my hand together we could stand let us never say goodbye

12

this is where two points collide/ where a body meets a soul/ where that gold tint in the skyline is a reminder of how a past lover’s hair appeared in the sunlight. this is the place where the sky falls; sun, moon, stars, and clouds hit the ground. they crash and they burn. the ocean spills out so many gentle words. but like love tokens in the night time they mean nothing when what is done is done. we are what we are. scarred and unmade. messy and undone. what is holy? is it the way you hold your lips, or the straightness of your spine? the glistening of skin in the moonlight or the kiss of sweat on your forehead? or is that just human? when did i ever stop being able to tell the true difference? in this place where our points collide and our stars align something slants in our sky and it falls/flies/forces itself upon the horizon inside our rear view is something we’ll forget leave the past behind and the stars, they shall follow.

0

Mar 15, 2018

Mar 15, 2018 at 11:45 AM UTC

collision

this is where two points collide/ where a body meets a soul/ where that gold tint in the skyline is a reminder of how a past lover’s hair appeared in the sunlight. this is the place where the sky falls; sun, moon, stars, and clouds hit the ground. they crash and they burn. the ocean spills out so many gentle words. but like love tokens in the night time they mean nothing when what is done is done. we are what we are. scarred and unmade. messy and undone. what is holy? is it the way you hold your lips, or the straightness of your spine? the glistening of skin in the moonlight or the kiss of sweat on your forehead? or is that just human? when did i ever stop being able to tell the true difference? in this place where our points collide and our stars align something slants in our sky and it falls/flies/forces itself upon the horizon inside our rear view is something we’ll forget leave the past behind and the stars, they shall follow.

39