Beauty was bestowed upon me / A golden
Crown of self loathing / Replaced
By a thorny wraith / Unforgiving
Self worth / Slipping
Cutting clean / Through my ears
The ruby / Sensitive
Gum / The welling of red
On cracked lips / The raw
Pink inside of my cheek / The slight
Glisten of fever / Eyes / Forehead
The nape of my neck / Swirls
Of sheets / Alternating / Crisp and damp
Sunsets and shadows / Cast
Ant parades / Majestic
In their toil / Finding myself
Beauty in the very hight / Of senses
The senseless sun / Mine
For the taking / To use
For my own needs / Of the
Contrasting and blending/ Of
The human consciousness / Of
Beauty and pain.
Dec 18, 2014
Dec 18, 2014 at 3:09 PM UTC
It was the kind of night
That if you just stay long enough
Something miraculous will happen.
I was the kind of girl
Who always left too soon.
But that night, you,
Miraculously human,
Begged me stay.
You were my three year old
My own little clingy kid
Hanging onto the edge of my skirt while I was on the phone.
But that night was one
Were the phone call was not
More important than you.
And so I stayed
Humanly miraculous
Sane
Close by.
Sep 13, 2014
Sep 13, 2014 at 3:58 PM UTC
I paint my fingernails
A fresh coat of polish
I cannot afford a construction
Cannot, in this state
Fix my life
So I repaint myself
The tips of my fingers
Now a lavish turquoise
In hopes that by alienating my fingers
I will be able to alienate myself
From myself.
Aug 14, 2014
Aug 14, 2014 at 3:52 AM UTC
Pulling
Has become second nature
Pulling at strings
To make the beings around me
Do as I will
Gentle
Barely felt tugs
At the cords of existance
Pulling you closer
A hand
A hug
Your shoulder against mine
Sitting on the bus
Talking on a bench
Feeling you close
Knowing you're there
The doors here
I tell you
Refuse to be pulled
I must place my hands firmly
And tilt
My weight against them
Against my promise
To never again
Push away.
Aug 14, 2014
Aug 14, 2014 at 3:42 AM UTC
Once upon a time
in a land
far far away and
only now do I understand
the recursion, you feel
more then just far.
In familiar locations
Lacking only you
I sit and slowly forget.
Jul 24, 2014
Jul 24, 2014 at 1:44 PM UTC
My room is scattered
With PaperCutPotentials
My skin is splitting
Just as the thought
The never ending battle
Of the sword and the pen
The ongoing struggle
For shelf space
The books suffocate
My own space and I
Am never alone
Words trailing me
Like ****** fingerprints
Everywhere I go
Leaving clues
For my feeble existence
Until the pen loses
And I all on my sword.
Jul 21, 2014
Jul 21, 2014 at 1:54 PM UTC
It's so ironic
That now we cannot touch
I fear you most
I can feel you slipping
Between my fingers
Sand
Water
Running down
I want you here
Solid
Warm
Familiar, following me
To rooftops and beaches
Keeping me from harm.
I try to envision
The way it felt
Safe
Welcome
I cannot recreate it.
Only your rage
Sharp
Words
And mistrust
You could hurt me
As long as
You are not here
To convince me otherwise.
When you next come
I will not tell you
To go away
But what once was
Will never be the same
This is what they call
Change and I know
It is only my
Stupid
Worries
But I cannot help myself
When you are away.
Jul 21, 2014
Jul 21, 2014 at 1:49 PM UTC
I am
incredible, look
at all that I have accomplished / a satisfied smile
flashes at my reflection / anchored / anchoring
when all the world is spinning / round and round
The balloons where white and popping / always popping
disappearing with the loud
sound of your voice / almost spoken / but not quite
conveyed / through your hands / but no more
I am
anchoring / anchored
I am
incredible, look
open your eyes and look / I tell myself
as I cry myself
to sleep.
Jul 21, 2014
Jul 21, 2014 at 1:32 PM UTC
He strikes a match and smoke
Fills the room
Gently spiraling
Upwards
In drunken swirls of white.
The inside of my mouth
Tastes sickly sweet
Cotton candy
And iron,what
Have they been feeding me?
Forced friendships
And forceful
Interactions, I look
For a means of escape
But the florescent lights glint
On the collection
Of bottles sitting
Abandoned
On the grand wooden table
Catching my eye
Catching
Me in their trap.
Mindless talk
And thoughtless comments
Create the fabric of our current universe
Constellations of blood ties and big
Black holes
Inescapable.
Jul 14, 2014
Jul 14, 2014 at 6:01 PM UTC
The aluminium folds
Under my able fingers
As I shape it to my
Will
My own tin man
I did not choose you
To be so heartless
Your purity lying in
The utter
Emptyness of your chest
And I, being the human I am
Constantly unpure and purifying
Find comfort in your
Sinlessness
Your inability to right me
No hope rises around you
And no shiver runs down my spine
At the touch of your cold skin
Frictionless
No strings able to attach.
Jun 29, 2014
Jun 29, 2014 at 10:44 AM UTC