helenina - Hello Poetry

Whenever I feel the world against me I hear your voice inside me I remember I felt stronger I felt defended Whenever I could speak my mind How couldn't I realize that with you I could have finally been me I wish I had trust in that Freedom to be I wish I had known this was real and you were no enemy I wish I had known we could have found ways to share our solitude without choking each other's space without having to be someone else without needing anybody else It's not merely the possible endless questionning That I loved with you But the hope to find the answers somehow together as a real team You'd gotten my back as I'd gotten yours We would have been able to get all the pleasure in our mind only to dive in each question not just for the answer but to be in this together We wanted the same I said many times it was not enough You were more than enough Any of other girls would have married you if they had read my amazing list of the best of you sure if if they had been able to bear with the worse of you We would have been able to see deeper disagreeing with peace mostly for the better Loving not in spite our differences but because of them Knowing we were only at the threshold of this quest knowing that the Guardian at the Gate might have been reversed for a sign for a pause But the door was just there Maybe blocked maybe locked I miss the simple things When I did not have to think I miss being able to make you happy so easily I miss seeing that special smile And I never admitted that you were right I couldn't help but twisting things This is how I am These are all my doubts These are all my fears tangling around me I lied so many times My fear of Bliss is real I always comfort myself in aloness I always thought having equating not wanting anymore I feared of what was next When you got the key to your quest I just could not live I just could not live me and my fears of dying I miss breathing in your neck breathing under your shirt where I loved to hide myself I can't describe how much I miss your scent If I poured it out it won't bother me I've got nothing to lose For we is already lost You've already done your best for me and you given me your worst But maybe you were just a soulmate we weaved silver threads to our spirits You brought me all this learning You made me feel beyond the yearning I mean now I could live without this need for loving I could live loveless if you could just hug the friend in me for eternity I used to always been in such a state of emergency With you it was always a question of life and death I always chose death as a coward I thought I would never have borne your rejection God it's insane I am the queen of Drama and the wise Healer God it's insane I know so many things but never was a keeper I tried way too much to make you hate me Oh God it was so easier much easier Maybe all I needed was time that you freely granted me As you let me go And sometimes I wished to be missed And sometimes I wished to be healed Maybe this was the most absurd we could have lived God we did not live a thing With all this love we did not live a thing There is no right answers to all of this I should have let enter freedom and faith I should have let enter acceptance I only miss talking to you this was precious And I made a mess of this bond Your words your distance can still hurt me But I only trust that you'd never play me You would just tell me stop writing to me Let the Past die and go , live

0

Jul 4, 2016

Jul 4, 2016 at 4:27 PM UTC

This is only what I miss

Whenever I feel the world against me I hear your voice inside me I remember I felt stronger I felt defended Whenever I could speak my mind How couldn't I realize that with you I could have finally been me I wish I had trust in that Freedom to be I wish I had known this was real and you were no enemy I wish I had known we could have found ways to share our solitude without choking each other's space without having to be someone else without needing anybody else It's not merely the possible endless questionning That I loved with you But the hope to find the answers somehow together as a real team You'd gotten my back as I'd gotten yours We would have been able to get all the pleasure in our mind only to dive in each question not just for the answer but to be in this together We wanted the same I said many times it was not enough You were more than enough Any of other girls would have married you if they had read my amazing list of the best of you sure if if they had been able to bear with the worse of you We would have been able to see deeper disagreeing with peace mostly for the better Loving not in spite our differences but because of them Knowing we were only at the threshold of this quest knowing that the Guardian at the Gate might have been reversed for a sign for a pause But the door was just there Maybe blocked maybe locked I miss the simple things When I did not have to think I miss being able to make you happy so easily I miss seeing that special smile And I never admitted that you were right I couldn't help but twisting things This is how I am These are all my doubts These are all my fears tangling around me I lied so many times My fear of Bliss is real I always comfort myself in aloness I always thought having equating not wanting anymore I feared of what was next When you got the key to your quest I just could not live I just could not live me and my fears of dying I miss breathing in your neck breathing under your shirt where I loved to hide myself I can't describe how much I miss your scent If I poured it out it won't bother me I've got nothing to lose For we is already lost You've already done your best for me and you given me your worst But maybe you were just a soulmate we weaved silver threads to our spirits You brought me all this learning You made me feel beyond the yearning I mean now I could live without this need for loving I could live loveless if you could just hug the friend in me for eternity I used to always been in such a state of emergency With you it was always a question of life and death I always chose death as a coward I thought I would never have borne your rejection God it's insane I am the queen of Drama and the wise Healer God it's insane I know so many things but never was a keeper I tried way too much to make you hate me Oh God it was so easier much easier Maybe all I needed was time that you freely granted me As you let me go And sometimes I wished to be missed And sometimes I wished to be healed Maybe this was the most absurd we could have lived God we did not live a thing With all this love we did not live a thing There is no right answers to all of this I should have let enter freedom and faith I should have let enter acceptance I only miss talking to you this was precious And I made a mess of this bond Your words your distance can still hurt me But I only trust that you'd never play me You would just tell me stop writing to me Let the Past die and go , live

89

...If I love you... Feathers all fallen grey I slowly learn to Fly Again This is how I am This is who I am My spirit clearly senses Harboring delicate thoughts Some things I often thought myself unable anymore I burnt all the white sage To purify the Energy Let it go now Let it go away All these somber silhouettes like dead crows Around my head Inside my heart May they fly higher nevermind how it tears my soul apart I will live on They say if I love You I love myself Thus I learn to cherish my own Multiverses Nevermind the misunderstanding I know why it is so hard to love myself This is how I came to the world Maybe also parts of my previous incarnations I have been taught again and again About the precious release of Loving Kindness When you kiss the depths of Forgiveness You keep falling down the mountains To the same grounds and dreary gardens Because it's here There is something to learn There is something to burn White sage chanting chanting chanting Shamanism healing White Light coming from deeper inside me Unlock my Spirit Now If I love myself I love You. (inspired by Rumi's words)

0

Jul 3, 2016

Jul 3, 2016 at 4:07 PM UTC

do you love me?

...If I love you... Feathers all fallen grey I slowly learn to Fly Again This is how I am This is who I am My spirit clearly senses Harboring delicate thoughts Some things I often thought myself unable anymore I burnt all the white sage To purify the Energy Let it go now Let it go away All these somber silhouettes like dead crows Around my head Inside my heart May they fly higher nevermind how it tears my soul apart I will live on They say if I love You I love myself Thus I learn to cherish my own Multiverses Nevermind the misunderstanding I know why it is so hard to love myself This is how I came to the world Maybe also parts of my previous incarnations I have been taught again and again About the precious release of Loving Kindness When you kiss the depths of Forgiveness You keep falling down the mountains To the same grounds and dreary gardens Because it's here There is something to learn There is something to burn White sage chanting chanting chanting Shamanism healing White Light coming from deeper inside me Unlock my Spirit Now If I love myself I love You. (inspired by Rumi's words)

40

Touch me my soul make the words roll over my skin Only if you know how to write to me my angel my kin I am not waiting for a mask not either a disguise Open your veins to me Let me read in the red waters on my lips Let me read the words, free me of the words in any possible way may the rain down my eyelids may they kiss my legs Make me laugh like a springtime morning A soft laughter that tears up the skies Those who gives shivers and marvels send a shiver to my spine make my head spin feed on my sapiophile soul more never stop or only to make me miss you only to make me deliciously pine for them ever more I am tired by the dalliances I want the four season muse You are so right I am the demure sylph Inured by the tar black clouds and the tempests so delicate with those thin dragonfly lyrics It's all made of your sighs and your caresses One day perhaps you'll have your own epiphany You will call me Marie and all of my other names You'll use your precious eloquence to tell me How we were meant to be Resonate like a familiar sound snowing in my mind Purifying the emotional landscape NOW is the time even if there's no hurry Haven't we lost enough time to be without one another Every of my names no matter my dress They will all adore you as bitter as sweet I'll be on your ego like a caress I will read you like a sassy poem Like an impatient flame You'll be the one who dares to be frail You'll dive in my treasure and get out of the bitter sea Together like a team united for the beauty of the worse(...)

0

Jun 5, 2016

Jun 5, 2016 at 6:22 AM UTC

"You cannot live when you are untouchable. Life is vulnerability."(Édouard Boubat, Notebooks, 1958)

Touch me my soul make the words roll over my skin Only if you know how to write to me my angel my kin I am not waiting for a mask not either a disguise Open your veins to me Let me read in the red waters on my lips Let me read the words, free me of the words in any possible way may the rain down my eyelids may they kiss my legs Make me laugh like a springtime morning A soft laughter that tears up the skies Those who gives shivers and marvels send a shiver to my spine make my head spin feed on my sapiophile soul more never stop or only to make me miss you only to make me deliciously pine for them ever more I am tired by the dalliances I want the four season muse You are so right I am the demure sylph Inured by the tar black clouds and the tempests so delicate with those thin dragonfly lyrics It's all made of your sighs and your caresses One day perhaps you'll have your own epiphany You will call me Marie and all of my other names You'll use your precious eloquence to tell me How we were meant to be Resonate like a familiar sound snowing in my mind Purifying the emotional landscape NOW is the time even if there's no hurry Haven't we lost enough time to be without one another Every of my names no matter my dress They will all adore you as bitter as sweet I'll be on your ego like a caress I will read you like a sassy poem Like an impatient flame You'll be the one who dares to be frail You'll dive in my treasure and get out of the bitter sea Together like a team united for the beauty of the worse(...)

37

I'm a chaos of Truths I'm a violent lucidity Who are you who are you I sometimes cannot stand what I see Can hardly believe it I cannot breathe what I can comprehend It stings way too much sometimes You're walking with a bare heart and scars Naysayers are going to feed on scraps Where are my sisters where are my brothers A sense of community a peaceful belonging I whisper loving kindness You can call me Brave ***** I stand for my beliefs I stand for my lonely hopes You cannot **** this You can only scratch my soul She's already full of scratches you know And I will be stronger Vulnerability says all of my power Of course I cry Of course I bleed For everything Human Without and within Could we be kinder to others Could we open up better With heart wouldn't it all be easier Tell them this is my biggest truth Tell them the warmth that I know Humans wake you up It's a revolution It is time now for little more compassion We all need words companions For the sleepless nights For everything we've got to give For all the passion we've got to pour For all the sparks that needs to burn Let's rekindle our sense of Humanity We are more than all these new boundaries Could we hush the ego sometimes Could we lull our pride sometimes If only we were all able to sense more To walk in others' shoes before speaking filthy mouths If we were able to care If Love could heal a bit of this nightmare Could we become better persons Will we try will we stop living in denial will we go past all of prejudices You can call me Brave ***** Talk about my tortured mind and my silly hopes It is all that I feel It is all I that I can see All that I know and that I understand It would be easier if we were all more tender(...)

0

Jun 5, 2016

Jun 5, 2016 at 6:12 AM UTC

Brave *****

I'm a chaos of Truths I'm a violent lucidity Who are you who are you I sometimes cannot stand what I see Can hardly believe it I cannot breathe what I can comprehend It stings way too much sometimes You're walking with a bare heart and scars Naysayers are going to feed on scraps Where are my sisters where are my brothers A sense of community a peaceful belonging I whisper loving kindness You can call me Brave ***** I stand for my beliefs I stand for my lonely hopes You cannot **** this You can only scratch my soul She's already full of scratches you know And I will be stronger Vulnerability says all of my power Of course I cry Of course I bleed For everything Human Without and within Could we be kinder to others Could we open up better With heart wouldn't it all be easier Tell them this is my biggest truth Tell them the warmth that I know Humans wake you up It's a revolution It is time now for little more compassion We all need words companions For the sleepless nights For everything we've got to give For all the passion we've got to pour For all the sparks that needs to burn Let's rekindle our sense of Humanity We are more than all these new boundaries Could we hush the ego sometimes Could we lull our pride sometimes If only we were all able to sense more To walk in others' shoes before speaking filthy mouths If we were able to care If Love could heal a bit of this nightmare Could we become better persons Will we try will we stop living in denial will we go past all of prejudices You can call me Brave ***** Talk about my tortured mind and my silly hopes It is all that I feel It is all I that I can see All that I know and that I understand It would be easier if we were all more tender(...)

55

Melancholia 1 2 3 4 All of my sisters of disasters Some messier some not It's a calling it's a fall It's my insane heart down the floor Here are some prototypes Of better versions of me I could be less this I could be more that I am just bare and bruised I'm waiting for a hand 1 2 3 4 and so many more Some green monster with sharp teeth Wishing to be closer than unique for thee For someone To be special To be loved To be seen As ugly as pretty As wise as silly As devoted as selfish Oh God I cannot breathe I cannot tell More words to choke my truth I don't want to say it Every word that I write is so twisted Around my neck 1 2 3 4 and some of them they hate me more They shut me They hurt me They protect me in their own way It's a calling it's a fall It's a aching it's a wall It is loving and not at all Cut me here cut me there Dissect my spirit Holy and hellish Pure as dew on blueberries Everything is dying How long will I drag this ghost everywhere behind me It should be dying All of this suffering All of these thirsty words All of these hopeless gazes All of these empty hands And this dereliction Always reaching out for something An echo or a king Someone to burn the mess within Someone to dance in the blood with Someone who can understand that there is nothing wrong with me I am only full of emotions I can walk on thorns with a smile on I am only devored by personas who all want to be lived And it's demanding And it's exhausting I want to express everything I want to pour this all out I'm a river I'm a volcano Of passion Of tenderness Of frailty and strength Some soul they feel Everything multiplied By all the people inside them thousand times much worse Thousand times much more beautiful It's heavy like a stormy sky You cannot hold my rain you're no pain you cannot understand You're not in pain How could you understand I am so alive Every feeling **** inside me Who could understand That the stars crash in my spirit And I hear too much I never rest I feel too much I hardly ever rest Melancholia is made of the spark of youth And the wounds of knowing 1 2 3 4 You cannot choose only one I am every version of me I am not a nice book to read No one can read me till the end I am not a kitty to cuddle Sure these are things that I can be I keep saying I'll be home I keep saying I'll be safe I keep swaying in the dark For some peace of mind burning old and useless pieces of mine(...)

0

Jun 4, 2016

Jun 4, 2016 at 2:40 PM UTC

Insane heart down the floor

Melancholia 1 2 3 4 All of my sisters of disasters Some messier some not It's a calling it's a fall It's my insane heart down the floor Here are some prototypes Of better versions of me I could be less this I could be more that I am just bare and bruised I'm waiting for a hand 1 2 3 4 and so many more Some green monster with sharp teeth Wishing to be closer than unique for thee For someone To be special To be loved To be seen As ugly as pretty As wise as silly As devoted as selfish Oh God I cannot breathe I cannot tell More words to choke my truth I don't want to say it Every word that I write is so twisted Around my neck 1 2 3 4 and some of them they hate me more They shut me They hurt me They protect me in their own way It's a calling it's a fall It's a aching it's a wall It is loving and not at all Cut me here cut me there Dissect my spirit Holy and hellish Pure as dew on blueberries Everything is dying How long will I drag this ghost everywhere behind me It should be dying All of this suffering All of these thirsty words All of these hopeless gazes All of these empty hands And this dereliction Always reaching out for something An echo or a king Someone to burn the mess within Someone to dance in the blood with Someone who can understand that there is nothing wrong with me I am only full of emotions I can walk on thorns with a smile on I am only devored by personas who all want to be lived And it's demanding And it's exhausting I want to express everything I want to pour this all out I'm a river I'm a volcano Of passion Of tenderness Of frailty and strength Some soul they feel Everything multiplied By all the people inside them thousand times much worse Thousand times much more beautiful It's heavy like a stormy sky You cannot hold my rain you're no pain you cannot understand You're not in pain How could you understand I am so alive Every feeling **** inside me Who could understand That the stars crash in my spirit And I hear too much I never rest I feel too much I hardly ever rest Melancholia is made of the spark of youth And the wounds of knowing 1 2 3 4 You cannot choose only one I am every version of me I am not a nice book to read No one can read me till the end I am not a kitty to cuddle Sure these are things that I can be I keep saying I'll be home I keep saying I'll be safe I keep swaying in the dark For some peace of mind burning old and useless pieces of mine(...)

97

It hurts so bad like a vulcano that keeps calm but just want the lava to cover it all to swallow the core vanish disappear be a breath be a feather I loathe all the ivy of this hell I wish a " pretty girl" could be enough to light my pages but so many sighs are unwritten I am sieving the tiny gleams in the aching paper I am shielding my words holding my tongue taping my mouth and my wings too choking my soul for fear of being loved for fear of being hated too numb and bleak as hell like the title of my heart book I take credit for every spot of blood for every scar it is all mine Even the rain Is it such a piece of cake to fly away from your own claws Yet I don't want to die so let her torture me ad libitum so I am never approach ed so I am drifting on the ocean of nothing knots and pieces of mirror there are so many thorns under the coton of my dresses when she asks for something does she want to save me I doubt her words I doubt her face Even her eyes can lie There is nothing to read between lines I am fallen from the nest licking my wounds in the corner of my room unable to breathe willingly Everything is artificial and mostly hurtful If only I could be a fool again maybe you would read and laugh more as we turn the pages(...)

0

Jun 3, 2016

Jun 3, 2016 at 3:18 AM UTC

Words Tomorrrow.

It hurts so bad like a vulcano that keeps calm but just want the lava to cover it all to swallow the core vanish disappear be a breath be a feather I loathe all the ivy of this hell I wish a " pretty girl" could be enough to light my pages but so many sighs are unwritten I am sieving the tiny gleams in the aching paper I am shielding my words holding my tongue taping my mouth and my wings too choking my soul for fear of being loved for fear of being hated too numb and bleak as hell like the title of my heart book I take credit for every spot of blood for every scar it is all mine Even the rain Is it such a piece of cake to fly away from your own claws Yet I don't want to die so let her torture me ad libitum so I am never approach ed so I am drifting on the ocean of nothing knots and pieces of mirror there are so many thorns under the coton of my dresses when she asks for something does she want to save me I doubt her words I doubt her face Even her eyes can lie There is nothing to read between lines I am fallen from the nest licking my wounds in the corner of my room unable to breathe willingly Everything is artificial and mostly hurtful If only I could be a fool again maybe you would read and laugh more as we turn the pages(...)

37