Although my heart still has days full of heavy,
Days where I hold a knot in my throat,
or there’s a weight on my chest,
To be able to spill what’s weighting me down on these pages is refreshing.
There is no growth in holding it in.
Aug 20, 2021
Aug 20, 2021 at 4:12 PM UTC
I hope you think of me like a 5000 piece puzzle,
Hope you feel like a detective when you talk to me,
Or when you hear about me,
Or when you think about me,
I hope you romanticize me into something more than just a human body,
I hope when we kiss your lungs expand,
Hope you think more than just lungs,
Hope when every inch of your body fills with energy
you think the chemical reaction,
I hope you think of me more than just a chemical reaction,
I hope i can fool you into believeing that
I am way more than what i say,
I hope you write about me,
Hope you can't get your mind off it because
you just need an answer,
i hope you find your answer,
I hope you figure out things about me
in the way i do my makeup,
Hope you try and find symbolism in it,
I hope you think me into a work of art,
Hope you finish with a blank canvas
because there is so much beauty in the unknown.
I hope you dream of dissecting me,
Hope you wake up with scars on your finger tips,
I hope i make you nervous,
Hope you think precisely of what to say when you're around me,
Hope you ask every question critically,
I hope you think i know exactly what you're up to,
Hope you hide nothing,
I hope you play word games with me
to try and piece together how my mind works,
I hope after all that time
you still cant grasp it,
Hope im always close enough to touch
but not close enough to get a firm grip on,
I hope you dig yourself a whole from walking in circles,
Hope you never say my name in fear of the tone being incorrect,
Hope you know ill always be here if you need me,
I hope you have no idea what any of this means,
I hope this has given your mind 3 different mining routes,
I hope you know i am buried treasure,
I hope you never hit gold,
I hope you never understand me.
Nov 23, 2015
Nov 23, 2015 at 6:24 PM UTC
im so glad i met you,
i loved you before
i could even have the chance to love myself
now that youre gone
im struggling with realizing
you dont need anyone to love you
but yourself.
Nov 22, 2015
Nov 22, 2015 at 4:08 PM UTC
Trigger Warning,
2am cartoons,
all you can eat buffets,
toboggans rides that last all day,
bald spots,
black eyes,
lighter fluid and burning plastic smells sworm the air.
Warning,
I don’t let people know,
i was taught to lie like it was a breath coming out of my mouth.
Warning,
Letting people in as my sisters dad stares at my mother,
He doesn’t look anything like my father,
Maybe if he looked alittle more like my father,
Maybe this would all be okay.
Warning,
Judges don’t trust mothers whos boyfreinds looks like a crack head,
Judges don’t trust mothers who look like a crack head,
how is it abuse when you allow it to happen.
Trigger warning,
Red and blue lights,
the sound of a taser,
handcuffs,
and the gentle words
"its all okay we are here now".
Warning,
i used to sleep with the thought I might wake up alone.
Sep 5, 2015
Sep 5, 2015 at 7:57 PM UTC
they'll say you're too
young and too dumb
and you have
no experience, you're like a bird being taught how to fly,
You don't know which way is left,
And which way is right.
and you
don't know what you're
doing and your mind is just lost,
And you're heart is just learning and it's impossible
at such a young age but god ****
it you know what you
feel and you're not about
to let that go for anyone or
anything and that's what really matters.
Apr 16, 2015
Apr 16, 2015 at 4:14 PM UTC
Pointed pencil,
Talking,
Black pen,
Talking,
One sheet of freshed lined paper.
My brain is a jumbled up mess of growing up,
Figuring out blueprints and survival skills to stay alive.
Taking persistent footsteps so I don't step on a personal bomb to blow up a building I built myself in sparkly bold letters I call my future.
Dull pencil,
Whispers,
Almost empty pen,
Whispers,
One sheet on crumpled paper.
Turning my thoughts into words is terrifying, Giving someone the opportunity to judge you like you were put in this world to be nothing.
I am something.
Short walks,
Quick talks,
These are the things no one wants but I've had both.
I've got icy cold wind in my wings but im floating above it all.
Broken pencil,
Silence,
Empty pen,
Silence,
Now a pile of crumpled paper.
My thinking pattern is out of wack,
I don't know what I'm going to do with my life and it's only just begun.
It's a mad world they say,
And I'm beginning to believe it.
Apr 15, 2015
Apr 15, 2015 at 4:50 PM UTC
the way you look
at me makes me feel
like I've seen the
stars in the day
because your eyes
sparkle so much that
you lure my heart in
and make my mind
stray.
Dec 13, 2014
Dec 13, 2014 at 9:19 PM UTC
they say your actions speak louder than words,
and I guess it's true.
because you didn't listen
when I said I was wrong
and told you that
i missed you.
Dec 13, 2014
Dec 13, 2014 at 9:15 PM UTC
simple,
like a newly bloomed flower,
he blooms as something magnificent in this book of torn pages and undecided chapters I call life.
it doesn't make any sense to add happiness to a situation where it's bound to be distoryed in all hopes it'll work out
but the sad truth is everything is temporary as bittersweet as it sounds
just keep in mind
nothing is permanent either
but how am I supposed to believe this theory when in my head
the image of his smile is permanent.
Nov 24, 2014
Nov 24, 2014 at 3:57 PM UTC
I've got so many dreams in my mind they're getting forced out of my ears
and I've got such a cloudy mind that I've been told it's said to be a burden.
but up here,
The sky is just so near,
the air smells so clear,
the stars hide in the back of my mind.
The earth lies below reflected in sparkling silver lining.
quiet goodbyes, white lies and too many signs
constantly drowning in golden moonlight.
it's the fact I'm floating above it all, scaling the mountaintops,
constantly grasping onto tree branches with my numb fingertips and I've got icy cold wind running through my wings and they're frozen but it's comforting.
there's a shocking chill the runs down your spine the reminds you what it's like to still alive.
it runs through your mind, your eyes, your veins.
maybe it'll make you realize you've been blind the entire time.
so just for a split second you squeeze your eyes and in a flash of light you see.
I've spent my lifetime being found and maybe once, maybe just once I'd like to get lost.
one day I'll stand tall and hold the world in my hands,
have the ocean water seep into the cracks in my sore palms and all at once I'll know every story of every heart and head and hero that wants they're story told.
and I've learnt that either the whole world will either open itself up or eat me whole
in different shades of white black and pale indigo,
as of now I can't tell which, maybe both.
but time will always surely tell.
Jun 2, 2014
Jun 2, 2014 at 10:22 PM UTC