of course there was a time before
a time when the night was gentle
the moon perched in the shadowed branches
the stars rustling about in their tiny flickering fullness
like blinking birds
in an instant
everything took flight
i soared with you and
laughed laughed
laughed so hard and sweet
life was long
and happy
we threw bread to those star birds
then when i got home i pulled out
my soft black notebook
it was dusty
but i wrote
and then i cried
and it spilled over the paper
in a rush of quiet ink
i spelled your name out
over and over and
over
with the curves of the letters i bent my body
backwards
eyes glittering
like those little star birds
something followed me through that night
i turned and turned but i could not catch it
and i found that
i couldn't take a breath
so i screamed
the sound was raspy and it was high and it
swung through the rafters
it tiptoed along the windowsill and
buried itself in your eye
where it sang and sang
yes
there was a time before
it is to me now as an echo is
Jun 27, 2017
Jun 27, 2017 at 12:18 PM UTC
how had i
failed to recognize
her
as she slipped down
the stairs.
i could not speak or
move.
i had dwindled to almost nothing.
i know i tried to say
everything
right from the start.
i know that there are girls far prettier than me and
far prettier than you.
at a certain distance she looks
far and miserable
but walk up
to her and there is
something cosmic and
unhinged.
there is a critical beauty
and there is the Earth and
it has filled with love
like a heart.
Jun 6, 2017
Jun 6, 2017 at 1:13 AM UTC
i knew you
and i knew you
after all is said
and done
after nothing
afterlife and after re-
incarnation
i will still know you
it's beautiful
the way it whispers
in my ear and something's dripping
from the empty crown
to the feet which
do not bruise no
matter how long
and hard i stand
no matter
it's no matter so
forgive me because
i'll always know you
May 3, 2017
May 3, 2017 at 11:36 AM UTC
truth is in deep kissing
truth
is the soft shell of a
metamorphosis
truth is in the sun rising gently, murmurous, in the east
in a ceaseless search for purpose
in the way Death makes music out of us
in what has yet to happen
in what has yet to hurt
but how can you say truth is not
in misrepresentation; misunderstood art
how can you say it is not the love you feel
for every girl you've ever seen
[the way you could almost melt as you
run your hand gingerly along her soft and her curves
and her edges]
how can you say truth is not a sin
how can you
Apr 12, 2017
Apr 12, 2017 at 12:10 PM UTC
don’t think about anything
lay next to me with your hands in my hair and my hands in your pockets and you touch me slow and soft like you know what you’re doing
can you feel your heart swelling like mine as i lace my body between yours and i stare up at the cracks in the ceiling or down at the sidewalk or at the green in between the gold in your eyes
we went to a playground like we were children but we didn’t play
sometimes i want to stop breathing just to see if you’d notice
when you whisper into my ear i lose it it’s all hot air and *** and you say i love you low and sweet like a cello and i love you too but i can’t say it because my throat isn’t working
then it’s blue and bright outside and these sheets are so white and i wish you were here you smell so good and you feel so good and i want to run my hand along your jaw and your arms
i don’t know where you are right now baby but i wish it were next to me
Apr 12, 2017
Apr 12, 2017 at 12:52 AM UTC
sometimes i feel like there
is a reason we are here
other times i do not
but never do i know
what the reason might be
it’s a thinly coated secret
sharp on my tongue
it lies within my reach
at night and slips away
with the notions of day
it’s difficult
but not impossible
to live with this condition
of losing what you never had
and not having anything worth keeping
Apr 12, 2017
Apr 12, 2017 at 12:47 AM UTC
love feels like
holding your breath
a strain in your chest
a rising
you can feel it in the back of your throat
in the pit of your stomach
it’s warm and heavy honey
drawing your ribs in snugly
lying flush against your heart
purring
Apr 12, 2017
Apr 12, 2017 at 12:43 AM UTC
you lie in bed next
to me
with the world tucked
beneath your chin
spinning gently
your sleep is restless
sometimes
in the middle of the night
i hear you coughing up stars
Apr 12, 2017
Apr 12, 2017 at 12:42 AM UTC
1 the breath that travels from my throat to yours
2 light dripping like honey onto the windowsills
3 the dust from broken glass embedded in the
pads of your fingers 4 and i'm sorry
5 the way you looked at me like you wanted to swallow me
6 my eyes (in response) melting and 7 cooling
8 kissing boys as they stand soft 9 between your thighs
10 hands matched like magnets
11 the tracks turning electric when the train runs near
12 coming home with palms scraped 13 or not at all
14 trying to sit still for family photos
15 the love you kept like a mint behind your teeth [i’ll hook my
tongue around it and try to pull it 16 free]
17 to be the only one who can hurt yourself
18 falling in love in a way you never can again:
for the first time
Apr 12, 2017
Apr 12, 2017 at 12:28 AM UTC
is a scary thing
to feel blood
rushing from your feet
to feel fingertips on your shoulder
when he is thousands of miles away
to feel your heart pounding as you run
run and surge, rippleless, into that fluid gentle dark
to feel your lungs fill and collapse like
an accordion
i couldn’t stop feeling
anymore than he could stop being who he was
which was simply:
not mine
Apr 12, 2017
Apr 12, 2017 at 12:26 AM UTC