hayley-robertson - Hello Poetry

i left the same day that the wildfires clouded your skies with orange dust, dirt, and debris how fitting they always say the weather matches your mood in the same way the smoke from the fires was ripping through the air i, too, was being ripped from your embrace i felt the smoke fill my lungs as i gasped for breath or maybe it was a cry for help i like to think of it as mother nature placing a veil over what could’ve been in a way she protected me i didn’t have to face you as i left

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Mar 31, 2024

Mar 31, 2024 at 9:41 PM UTC

last day in new york

i left the same day that the wildfires clouded your skies with orange dust, dirt, and debris how fitting they always say the weather matches your mood in the same way the smoke from the fires was ripping through the air i, too, was being ripped from your embrace i felt the smoke fill my lungs as i gasped for breath or maybe it was a cry for help i like to think of it as mother nature placing a veil over what could’ve been in a way she protected me i didn’t have to face you as i left

10

it’s more than just a happy song i don’t know how to write a poem when i’m happy but if i did, it would be called "strawberry swing" i’ve had this title in my head for two years now because an unexplained feeling always engulfs me when i hear that song probably because it reminds me of that day we went to the lake but funny enough that’s what i remember the least what do i remember? well, first, i remember turning into the wrong parking lot hoping we were lost so we could stay there longer hoping the forecast for rain would hit so we could “sit in the car and wait for it to blow over” i remember the curving country roads that you drove around (probably a little too fast—but that’s okay, it added to the thrill, to the excitement in my heart) that wound for miles with no end in sight which i was perfectly fine with as i sat in the passenger seat listening to you hum along to the playlist we made together i remember it was late june, early summer warm enough to have the windows down warm enough to see the sun dance across the windshield before speckling our skin, our eyes with light the same sun that i noticed, for the first time, called your freckles out of hiding warm enough for the car to get just a little bit too hot once we returned but i didn’t care as long as you were in it i remember having a conversation and being surprised that you were looking at me while i spoke nodding your head along smiling inquiring interested in me i remember thinking that was a new feeling i remember the closer and closer we got to home the more and more excuses i tried to come up with in my head to get you to stay how many red lights could we hit? do you need to fill up on gas? will all the street parking outside my house be full? (so we can circle the block even 5 more seconds will suffice) well, we sat there for a while you wanted to stay longer making small talk like we did for months neither of us wanted to leave what are you doing later? have you heard this song? are you free any other days this week? but we didn’t want this week we wanted today right now this moment it’s such a perfect day

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May 23, 2023

May 23, 2023 at 11:35 PM UTC

strawberry swing

it’s more than just a happy song i don’t know how to write a poem when i’m happy but if i did, it would be called "strawberry swing" i’ve had this title in my head for two years now because an unexplained feeling always engulfs me when i hear that song probably because it reminds me of that day we went to the lake but funny enough that’s what i remember the least what do i remember? well, first, i remember turning into the wrong parking lot hoping we were lost so we could stay there longer hoping the forecast for rain would hit so we could “sit in the car and wait for it to blow over” i remember the curving country roads that you drove around (probably a little too fast—but that’s okay, it added to the thrill, to the excitement in my heart) that wound for miles with no end in sight which i was perfectly fine with as i sat in the passenger seat listening to you hum along to the playlist we made together i remember it was late june, early summer warm enough to have the windows down warm enough to see the sun dance across the windshield before speckling our skin, our eyes with light the same sun that i noticed, for the first time, called your freckles out of hiding warm enough for the car to get just a little bit too hot once we returned but i didn’t care as long as you were in it i remember having a conversation and being surprised that you were looking at me while i spoke nodding your head along smiling inquiring interested in me i remember thinking that was a new feeling i remember the closer and closer we got to home the more and more excuses i tried to come up with in my head to get you to stay how many red lights could we hit? do you need to fill up on gas? will all the street parking outside my house be full? (so we can circle the block even 5 more seconds will suffice) well, we sat there for a while you wanted to stay longer making small talk like we did for months neither of us wanted to leave what are you doing later? have you heard this song? are you free any other days this week? but we didn’t want this week we wanted today right now this moment it’s such a perfect day

51

the first night you came over after a few drinks of warm seltzer i ran into the bathroom, gripped the sink, stared at myself in the mirror and said, “he is going to love me like i deserve” i casually walked back to the living room, picked up my can, and drank the warm seltzer the taste of the best summer of my life now, as i sit here writing, it’s been over a year, and he does in fact love me like i deserve yet i am here, running into my bathroom, gripping the sink, staring at myself in the mirror, and wishing that there was another body in the frame next to mine i casually walk back to the living room, pick up my phone, and open the countdown app for the fifth time today to look at the number of days until i can see you again 16 days that’s better than 31 like last time if you ask me what the taste of the summer is for this summer i’d tell you “longing” but really, i’d be wishing it was warm seltzer warm on your breath as you pulled me closer into you and whispered something in my ear

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Jul 3, 2022

Jul 3, 2022 at 9:30 PM UTC

warm seltzer

the first night you came over after a few drinks of warm seltzer i ran into the bathroom, gripped the sink, stared at myself in the mirror and said, “he is going to love me like i deserve” i casually walked back to the living room, picked up my can, and drank the warm seltzer the taste of the best summer of my life now, as i sit here writing, it’s been over a year, and he does in fact love me like i deserve yet i am here, running into my bathroom, gripping the sink, staring at myself in the mirror, and wishing that there was another body in the frame next to mine i casually walk back to the living room, pick up my phone, and open the countdown app for the fifth time today to look at the number of days until i can see you again 16 days that’s better than 31 like last time if you ask me what the taste of the summer is for this summer i’d tell you “longing” but really, i’d be wishing it was warm seltzer warm on your breath as you pulled me closer into you and whispered something in my ear

14

The start of one thing The end of another “Love is only a feeling,” they say And i’m starting to believe it Do I remember this day as the start of something good Or do I remember it as the end of something better No Rather than making it about you Or you I’m making it about me for once No more reminiscing on what could have been No more sifting through different versions of the same story in my head From now on, this will not be a day to dwell on the past, but rather to embrace the future Love is only a feeling? I will never believe it. Love is a force stronger than the sun, moon, and all the stars And one day it will come back

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Jan 31, 2021

Jan 31, 2021 at 6:41 PM UTC

January 31st

The start of one thing The end of another “Love is only a feeling,” they say And i’m starting to believe it Do I remember this day as the start of something good Or do I remember it as the end of something better No Rather than making it about you Or you I’m making it about me for once No more reminiscing on what could have been No more sifting through different versions of the same story in my head From now on, this will not be a day to dwell on the past, but rather to embrace the future Love is only a feeling? I will never believe it. Love is a force stronger than the sun, moon, and all the stars And one day it will come back

16

i step out of your car and my stomach immediately drops to the floor like that moment on a roller coaster we’re trying to be just friends right now each time we’ve hung out, it reminds me why we can’t be just friends i want more i need more friends don’t leave other friends with an awkward silence and a sadness that stays with them all night i used to step out of your car feeling happy and fulfilled but now i am longing for more while i sit around and wait to hear from you again because waiting is better than not having you in my life at all

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Jan 26, 2021

Jan 26, 2021 at 9:14 PM UTC

Friends

i step out of your car and my stomach immediately drops to the floor like that moment on a roller coaster we’re trying to be just friends right now each time we’ve hung out, it reminds me why we can’t be just friends i want more i need more friends don’t leave other friends with an awkward silence and a sadness that stays with them all night i used to step out of your car feeling happy and fulfilled but now i am longing for more while i sit around and wait to hear from you again because waiting is better than not having you in my life at all

11

the last night we spent together i was asleep you had to park and walk because there were no empty spaces the next morning i drove you to your car and i dropped you off and i drove back home and i had absolutely no idea that was the last time that was the only time that you ever had to park that far away you always found a space up close i never had to drive you to your car only walk you to the door give you a hug and say, “See you later!” it was weird your car wasn’t even that far away just in the next parking lot over but i wish i could get those 2 minutes back i wish there was an empty space then maybe the distance wouldn’t manifest itself

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Apr 17, 2020

Apr 17, 2020 at 1:48 AM UTC

Empty Space

the last night we spent together i was asleep you had to park and walk because there were no empty spaces the next morning i drove you to your car and i dropped you off and i drove back home and i had absolutely no idea that was the last time that was the only time that you ever had to park that far away you always found a space up close i never had to drive you to your car only walk you to the door give you a hug and say, “See you later!” it was weird your car wasn’t even that far away just in the next parking lot over but i wish i could get those 2 minutes back i wish there was an empty space then maybe the distance wouldn’t manifest itself

19

writing doesn’t come to me in all the most conventional moments i guess staring at myself in the bathroom mirror feeling thoughts approach me stronger than they have in a while i mutter a quiet, “what is happening” i haven’t felt this way in a while followed by a more assured, “i need to write” this is the only way to combat the noise you see, for me, writing isn’t fueled by every day occurrences, or inspiration from the world around me it’s fueled by my body being engulfed by thoughts happiness, sadness, anger, anything really thoughts standing in my brain, crawling into my face, jumping into my throat, heart, lungs, until they’ve taken over i can’t control when i write, just like i can’t control when thoughts come why did they come today? maybe it’s because i didn’t have someone next to me when i woke up maybe it’s because i’m unsure of what the future holds whatever the case might be, i want to thank you, thoughts thank you for giving me the power to write and i want to thank you, self thank you for not dismissing thoughts

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Apr 9, 2020

Apr 9, 2020 at 1:04 PM UTC

Sitting on my Bathroom Floor

writing doesn’t come to me in all the most conventional moments i guess staring at myself in the bathroom mirror feeling thoughts approach me stronger than they have in a while i mutter a quiet, “what is happening” i haven’t felt this way in a while followed by a more assured, “i need to write” this is the only way to combat the noise you see, for me, writing isn’t fueled by every day occurrences, or inspiration from the world around me it’s fueled by my body being engulfed by thoughts happiness, sadness, anger, anything really thoughts standing in my brain, crawling into my face, jumping into my throat, heart, lungs, until they’ve taken over i can’t control when i write, just like i can’t control when thoughts come why did they come today? maybe it’s because i didn’t have someone next to me when i woke up maybe it’s because i’m unsure of what the future holds whatever the case might be, i want to thank you, thoughts thank you for giving me the power to write and i want to thank you, self thank you for not dismissing thoughts

21

Sitting outside and the birds are singing The leaves are dancing in the wind The sunlight is seeping in through the gaps in the leaves and casting speckled shadows along the pavement And I know we’re all going to be okay Light has a new meaning to us now What did it mean before? Think about that. In these dark times all we have is light And all we can do is let the light in Light can be whatever you want it to be But you have to accept it Don’t let the darkness get to you Whatever you do, don’t let the darkness get to you I want you to embrace the light Let the birds sing Dance like the leaves dance Feel the sunlight on your skin And take comfort in knowing that every day brings forth new light

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Mar 27, 2020

Mar 27, 2020 at 4:04 PM UTC

Light

Sitting outside and the birds are singing The leaves are dancing in the wind The sunlight is seeping in through the gaps in the leaves and casting speckled shadows along the pavement And I know we’re all going to be okay Light has a new meaning to us now What did it mean before? Think about that. In these dark times all we have is light And all we can do is let the light in Light can be whatever you want it to be But you have to accept it Don’t let the darkness get to you Whatever you do, don’t let the darkness get to you I want you to embrace the light Let the birds sing Dance like the leaves dance Feel the sunlight on your skin And take comfort in knowing that every day brings forth new light

18

10:50pm i haven’t written in two years this one goes out to music and the stars because who needs a person when you’ve got all your favorite songs to sing you to sleep 10:50pm this time last month i’d be waiting sitting and waiting and waiting and waiting waiting to feel something anything and i’d get in my car and i’d drive seal myself up in my own little world where i couldn’t feel anything but the bass rattling my lungs and the stars 10:50pm all of the stars are out although it doesn’t seem like it here not like at home but i imagine them just me and the stars and our favorite songs and we drive and we sing and it’s perfect 10:50pm clarity comfort peace

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Mar 8, 2020

Mar 8, 2020 at 11:09 PM UTC

10:50pm

10:50pm i haven’t written in two years this one goes out to music and the stars because who needs a person when you’ve got all your favorite songs to sing you to sleep 10:50pm this time last month i’d be waiting sitting and waiting and waiting and waiting waiting to feel something anything and i’d get in my car and i’d drive seal myself up in my own little world where i couldn’t feel anything but the bass rattling my lungs and the stars 10:50pm all of the stars are out although it doesn’t seem like it here not like at home but i imagine them just me and the stars and our favorite songs and we drive and we sing and it’s perfect 10:50pm clarity comfort peace

28

slowly and softly, we drip back into our own little worlds, composing the structure that we each need to survive, yours being the complete opposite of mine, but that's okay, because a drop of wax can build a new candle, and all that candle needs is a spark.

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May 1, 2018

May 1, 2018 at 11:57 PM UTC

Wax (3 of 3)

slowly and softly, we drip back into our own little worlds, composing the structure that we each need to survive, yours being the complete opposite of mine, but that's okay, because a drop of wax can build a new candle, and all that candle needs is a spark.

7