haydee_ - Hello Poetry

FaceTime Unavailable. Leave a Message Hey, it’s me, just saying hell.... Hey, just wanted to check up o..... Hi, I really miss yo...... Just saying what’s u....... I’m constantly bombarded by thoughts of you I wake up .... You I go to class.... You I study.... You But I still can’t understand Why I’m not over.... You Yes. Was the word I said when you asked me to be yours. When you said I want you to be mine Out was where we went , no matter the time. I’d go out with you over and over and over again because i never wanted the time with you to end Unlimited Was how I felt when you held me in your arms, when I called and you’d always answer . When I knew i could rely on you to be the answer but Somehow, over time, I began to think I was not the answer. Multiple Choice but I was not the right choice, I was the choice that’s so close to right it made it difficult for you to decide But you decided that you were willing to be almost right to be with me and I didn’t appreciate that til your heart. Your mind. Your thoughts. Your time. Left Me Read That word has become so familiar now Read Has become a common response to me now I fight for your attention Your time Your affection I fight for the right to my thoughts My attention But I’m losing Connecting...... FaceTime Unavailable I see you. Talking to her Her could be a stranger Her could be a mutual friend Her could be your someone close But her isn’t me, so it could be anybody But I want to be her What is it about our past relationship that is keeping me hooked Why do I feel like I am not free I know I don’t want a relationship I know what you’re probably going to tell the next girl the next her but. I don’t care.

0

Jan 25, 2019

Jan 25, 2019 at 8:48 PM UTC

Over You

FaceTime Unavailable. Leave a Message Hey, it’s me, just saying hell.... Hey, just wanted to check up o..... Hi, I really miss yo...... Just saying what’s u....... I’m constantly bombarded by thoughts of you I wake up .... You I go to class.... You I study.... You But I still can’t understand Why I’m not over.... You Yes. Was the word I said when you asked me to be yours. When you said I want you to be mine Out was where we went , no matter the time. I’d go out with you over and over and over again because i never wanted the time with you to end Unlimited Was how I felt when you held me in your arms, when I called and you’d always answer . When I knew i could rely on you to be the answer but Somehow, over time, I began to think I was not the answer. Multiple Choice but I was not the right choice, I was the choice that’s so close to right it made it difficult for you to decide But you decided that you were willing to be almost right to be with me and I didn’t appreciate that til your heart. Your mind. Your thoughts. Your time. Left Me Read That word has become so familiar now Read Has become a common response to me now I fight for your attention Your time Your affection I fight for the right to my thoughts My attention But I’m losing Connecting...... FaceTime Unavailable I see you. Talking to her Her could be a stranger Her could be a mutual friend Her could be your someone close But her isn’t me, so it could be anybody But I want to be her What is it about our past relationship that is keeping me hooked Why do I feel like I am not free I know I don’t want a relationship I know what you’re probably going to tell the next girl the next her but. I don’t care.

46

I’m not me anymore I am writing this because I want to show it to you I want you to get me What I’m saying about me And I want your approval Crazy, How poetry is supposed to be my way of expressing myself but now I feel like I’m expressing the version of me that is most agreeable to you The one that will get the approval I’m not a poet I’m a fraud...

0

Jul 5, 2018

Jul 5, 2018 at 10:41 PM UTC

Why I Share pt 1

I’m not me anymore I am writing this because I want to show it to you I want you to get me What I’m saying about me And I want your approval Crazy, How poetry is supposed to be my way of expressing myself but now I feel like I’m expressing the version of me that is most agreeable to you The one that will get the approval I’m not a poet I’m a fraud...

11

Tossing, Turning, I can't sleep. Night after night Day after day, I lie awake, thinking, or not thinking You scare me So much uncertainty and I feel like my life is no longer my life. It consists of a competition I have to prove to you that I am better than the next Survival of the fittest except inclusive fitness is not a witness I'm depressed Constantly. Thinking of what could be, what can never be, what I want to be.... I think I have a plan but God reminds me that I am only a (wo)man I decide to continue on anyway Hoping One Day I'll find my way

0

Jul 1, 2018

Jul 1, 2018 at 9:26 PM UTC

The Future

Tossing, Turning, I can't sleep. Night after night Day after day, I lie awake, thinking, or not thinking You scare me So much uncertainty and I feel like my life is no longer my life. It consists of a competition I have to prove to you that I am better than the next Survival of the fittest except inclusive fitness is not a witness I'm depressed Constantly. Thinking of what could be, what can never be, what I want to be.... I think I have a plan but God reminds me that I am only a (wo)man I decide to continue on anyway Hoping One Day I'll find my way

20

I have value. I am valuable. Somewhere between when we first met, and when you first kissed me, I questioned my net worth I have value I am valu.... Able to decipher between the lines of your pleas and needs I want to satisfy you. I want to be the reason that you are content. When you talk about what makes you happy, I want to be one of the items that comes quickly to mind. No hesitation No thought My name. Comes out of your lips Like fluid Lips that I’ve kissed and bit and thought about kissing and wanted to kiss Lips malleable between mine I have value I am valuable. Begging you to let me into the sinuses of your heart and mind. Begging you to let me into the places which you seek to hide Wanting to know you completely. I am not God. Wanting to know your every thought and anticipate your every want or need I am not God. Even as I write this, I wonder what you’ll think I wonder if I can create the image that I see in my mind in yours I wonder if what we have is like inception At first you think it’s one thing, but then you’re left unsure about all you thought you were sure about I think the reason people have had a hard time getting to know me is because I don’t even know me. Who is _______ What makes up my core I don’t know. I think I’ve just been living in a shell Afraid to venture out Or not feeling equipped or ready to undertake this thing called life I don’t want to hurt you I don’t want to disappoint you. These are things that I should be saying to God. Somewhere along the lines of time I have made you a..... I am valuable I have value I began this piece Hoping to be able to express what I am feeling The heaviness of my heart And anxiety weighing on my mind. I have failed. I wanted to become immersed in my emotions so when I arose I would be ok. I am not. I think I want you to like me so badly. I’ve lost my value. I’ve lost sight* of my value I have value I am available Sometimes our subconscious types the things we suppress

0

Jun 30, 2018

Jun 30, 2018 at 10:11 AM UTC

Know Your Worth

I have value. I am valuable. Somewhere between when we first met, and when you first kissed me, I questioned my net worth I have value I am valu.... Able to decipher between the lines of your pleas and needs I want to satisfy you. I want to be the reason that you are content. When you talk about what makes you happy, I want to be one of the items that comes quickly to mind. No hesitation No thought My name. Comes out of your lips Like fluid Lips that I’ve kissed and bit and thought about kissing and wanted to kiss Lips malleable between mine I have value I am valuable. Begging you to let me into the sinuses of your heart and mind. Begging you to let me into the places which you seek to hide Wanting to know you completely. I am not God. Wanting to know your every thought and anticipate your every want or need I am not God. Even as I write this, I wonder what you’ll think I wonder if I can create the image that I see in my mind in yours I wonder if what we have is like inception At first you think it’s one thing, but then you’re left unsure about all you thought you were sure about I think the reason people have had a hard time getting to know me is because I don’t even know me. Who is _______ What makes up my core I don’t know. I think I’ve just been living in a shell Afraid to venture out Or not feeling equipped or ready to undertake this thing called life I don’t want to hurt you I don’t want to disappoint you. These are things that I should be saying to God. Somewhere along the lines of time I have made you a..... I am valuable I have value I began this piece Hoping to be able to express what I am feeling The heaviness of my heart And anxiety weighing on my mind. I have failed. I wanted to become immersed in my emotions so when I arose I would be ok. I am not. I think I want you to like me so badly. I’ve lost my value. I’ve lost sight* of my value I have value I am available Sometimes our subconscious types the things we suppress

58

First you get admission her permission is required, framed against the wall are those strokes you once desired. Admired, divinely inspired with his hands you can't compete. My favorite piece of his and yet he left it incomplete. But I appreciate the process, with the progress I obsess. The paint splatters, eraser marks, it's a fascinating mess. The finished piece is nothing but an educated guess. But his work is so elaborate, its definitely made to impress. These urges I suppress, to unhook that velvet rope, and step even closer than anyone could ever hope. In her walls she's confined, most of it within her mind. I think she would actually appreciate it more if she were blind. But I'm alone in her gallery, asking the auctioneer how much, and they point at the sign that says "please do not touch"

0

Dec 8, 2017

Dec 8, 2017 at 11:56 PM UTC

Another’s Work: Do Not Touch

First you get admission her permission is required, framed against the wall are those strokes you once desired. Admired, divinely inspired with his hands you can't compete. My favorite piece of his and yet he left it incomplete. But I appreciate the process, with the progress I obsess. The paint splatters, eraser marks, it's a fascinating mess. The finished piece is nothing but an educated guess. But his work is so elaborate, its definitely made to impress. These urges I suppress, to unhook that velvet rope, and step even closer than anyone could ever hope. In her walls she's confined, most of it within her mind. I think she would actually appreciate it more if she were blind. But I'm alone in her gallery, asking the auctioneer how much, and they point at the sign that says "please do not touch"

1

You are beautiful, intelligent, determined, motivated. You are ugly, dumb, lazy, and desperate. Adjectives. Words people try to use to confine me They use descriptive words to remind me Of who I was, where I was, and who I used to be But Words, Words--they can't DEFINE ME. Because I Am Simply ..

0

Jun 2, 2017

Jun 2, 2017 at 12:21 AM UTC

Me.

You are beautiful, intelligent, determined, motivated. You are ugly, dumb, lazy, and desperate. Adjectives. Words people try to use to confine me They use descriptive words to remind me Of who I was, where I was, and who I used to be But Words, Words--they can't DEFINE ME. Because I Am Simply ..

21

Looking at the stars. Searching for the brightest one But my eyes were closed.

0

Jun 2, 2017

Jun 2, 2017 at 12:07 AM UTC

With You

Looking at the stars. Searching for the brightest one But my eyes were closed.

3

It hurts. Every time you tell me that you'll stop. But you don't. You mean so much to me I am drawn to the hurt in your eyes The pain in your voice of past hurts and afflictions that I was not there to help you with. But I'm here. So let me into your life. Let us work through your strife. I'm listening. Hello?

0

Jun 1, 2017

Jun 1, 2017 at 11:06 PM UTC

Q

It hurts. Every time you tell me that you'll stop. But you don't. You mean so much to me I am drawn to the hurt in your eyes The pain in your voice of past hurts and afflictions that I was not there to help you with. But I'm here. So let me into your life. Let us work through your strife. I'm listening. Hello?

11

They're on administrative leave like they asked us permission to leave our bodies... Lifeless Or They should have gotten permission to be dismissed BEFORE they left our bodies... Lifeless Land of the free....How about Land on our Knees Where we should be until we all can stand as tall as a tree.... Not hanging, from a tree The noose has been replaced by a shiny black casing, The broken neck has been replaced by blood freely flowing The tree has been used to make OUR encasing.... The result... [hashtag]this [hashtag]that [hashtag]blacklivesmatter but... [hashtag]itdoesntmatter because apparently we are not all made of equal matter Sterling Silver used to be considered quality , but apparently...that's dead. B stands for bold. Beautiful. Brave. Boisterious, without the B in black there consists just a Lack of color, creativity, attitude... Lying to us daily, telling us our skin color isn't a crime only that it cuts short our time to be Alive. Breathing, Heart beating, Lub Dub Lub Dub Lu....ve you are the two words that you may never hear. Are the two words that they don't get to hear because Crack. Pop pop pop Hands up Don't ..... Blood flowing on the streets, like road **** except I'd hoped by now evolution would have taken us to the top of the animal kingdom, but there's still more outrage over Harambi the silverback than Philando Castile, violently attacked... Pronunciation please: Blac (black) B-L-A-C is still the same pronouncement without the K.....K... K . Still afraid to wake up day after day after day... Not knowing if this could be our last where the blackness on our skin becomes our permanent surroundings Or Not knowing if this could be our last where the blackness on our skin becomes the ghost of Christmas future, the past and present left to rest in peace... We should be praising the Lord when we wake up on the land of living, breathing, heart beating, lub dub lub dub.... HANDS UP ..... But you asked for my license's I was already reaching... Don't shoot.... But I wasn't planning to, my four year old is in clear view.

0

May 31, 2017

May 31, 2017 at 9:14 PM UTC

BLACK

They're on administrative leave like they asked us permission to leave our bodies... Lifeless Or They should have gotten permission to be dismissed BEFORE they left our bodies... Lifeless Land of the free....How about Land on our Knees Where we should be until we all can stand as tall as a tree.... Not hanging, from a tree The noose has been replaced by a shiny black casing, The broken neck has been replaced by blood freely flowing The tree has been used to make OUR encasing.... The result... [hashtag]this [hashtag]that [hashtag]blacklivesmatter but... [hashtag]itdoesntmatter because apparently we are not all made of equal matter Sterling Silver used to be considered quality , but apparently...that's dead. B stands for bold. Beautiful. Brave. Boisterious, without the B in black there consists just a Lack of color, creativity, attitude... Lying to us daily, telling us our skin color isn't a crime only that it cuts short our time to be Alive. Breathing, Heart beating, Lub Dub Lub Dub Lu....ve you are the two words that you may never hear. Are the two words that they don't get to hear because Crack. Pop pop pop Hands up Don't ..... Blood flowing on the streets, like road **** except I'd hoped by now evolution would have taken us to the top of the animal kingdom, but there's still more outrage over Harambi the silverback than Philando Castile, violently attacked... Pronunciation please: Blac (black) B-L-A-C is still the same pronouncement without the K.....K... K . Still afraid to wake up day after day after day... Not knowing if this could be our last where the blackness on our skin becomes our permanent surroundings Or Not knowing if this could be our last where the blackness on our skin becomes the ghost of Christmas future, the past and present left to rest in peace... We should be praising the Lord when we wake up on the land of living, breathing, heart beating, lub dub lub dub.... HANDS UP ..... But you asked for my license's I was already reaching... Don't shoot.... But I wasn't planning to, my four year old is in clear view.

20