You broke your own heart
and wanted me to apologize for it.
I don’t need to make myself more
palatable for you to enjoy me.
I am not sorry for being myself.
Feb 25, 2021
Feb 25, 2021 at 3:00 PM UTC
i want to make you feel guilty
for changing your mind about me.
it’s not your fault that i am damaged
but it is your fault for how you acted.
it’s okay if you don’t want my body
because i’m not letting you anywhere near it.
*** with you is better as a concept anyway.
Dec 1, 2020
Dec 1, 2020 at 2:06 AM UTC
trying to hold a conversation with you
is mentally exhausting and i just
don’t have the time to defend every
sentence that comes out of my mouth
my words are not wrong
just because you don’t like them
Dec 1, 2020
Dec 1, 2020 at 2:04 AM UTC
When I look at you,
I'm pretty sure my heart melts.
I don't know how to explain that
but it's how I feel and how I've felt.
You're becoming my happy place,
you're making me brand-new.
I thought I should let you know that
I think I'm in love with you.
Feb 23, 2018
Feb 23, 2018 at 8:17 PM UTC
Anxiety is like a sixth sense that is wrong 9/10 times but it screams louder than everything else so it seems like it's the most urgent. Usually nothing's wrong and usually I overreact and even though I know those things I still wake up at three in the morning freaking out about something that's probably irrelevant. My anxiety says "oh this time it's real trust me because i'm the loudest thing in your brain so i am obviously right." and I'm like 'yes that makes sense tell me more please', even if its been wrong every single day for two years straight. A never ending cycle.
Nov 7, 2017
Nov 7, 2017 at 11:17 PM UTC
I hate when they don’t understand
when I say
“My anxiety hurts so bad today”
I try to describe it to them,
like when you get butterflies
(but replace them with knives)
Nov 7, 2017
Nov 7, 2017 at 11:13 PM UTC
She warned him before he came over
that she might wake him up in the night.
For her mind is plagued with monsters
that cause her to act out her nightmares.
He laughed it off and chose to go anyway,
aware of the seriousness in her warning.
He laid with her through the trauma,
and got a glimpse into the prison she owns.
The prison that lives and thrives in her brain.
He did not question her motives when
she woke up suddenly and pushed him away.
He wasn’t afraid for he understood why.
She wondered why he wasn’t scared,
and suddenly it hit her like a train.
The reason he did not startle was simple.
He must be plagued with monsters too.
Sep 10, 2016
Sep 10, 2016 at 8:08 PM UTC
It is incredible how quickly my rationality was lost
and I genuinely considered taking a blade across my skin
for absolutely no reason.
It's as if my progress means nothing to me
and I am just a spoiled brat who isn't getting attention
so I choose to hurt myself.
It's been almost three years fighting this urge
and it seems to be that it literally will not go away
but I won't give in.
Please don't let me find my self destruct button.
Mar 31, 2016
Mar 31, 2016 at 10:13 PM UTC
I told you that I didn't want to. That I can't control myself.
I made sure you knew so that when I tried to, you'd stop me.
You were supposed to stop me. You were supposed to say no.
I wasn't myself, I don't even know if I'd consider myself responsive.
The only reason I realized what was happening was because
I heard a song, a voice, a familiar tune. Reminding me of who I am.
And who I am should not be someone who sleeps with everyone.
This seems to happen to me a lot, I've noticed.
I don't blame you, I blame myself for trusting you.
Trusting that you'd remember that I didn't want to be with you.
Trusting that you wouldn't take advantage of me.
Trusting that you cared about me enough to just say no.
Jan 18, 2016
Jan 18, 2016 at 6:11 PM UTC
I feel for you, but I won't hold onto the past
because I know I'm never going back there.
Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't do it.
I've grown too much to step backwards
into who I used to be when I was with you.
Yes, it would be comfortable.
But I don't want to ever live that state.
The state of mind that the only time
I can be comfortable is when I'm yours.
I don't need that mindset.
Plus, you don't want that anyway.
You're happy, and I'm usually happy.
Break ups happen for a reason and
there's no reason to hold onto something
that's already let go of you.
Jan 10, 2016
Jan 10, 2016 at 12:02 AM UTC