I have no one to show me off
Nobody to take me on trips
No parents to introduce me to
Nobody to dote on me
No one to kiss my forehead when I'm down
Nobody to build my own life with
I'm tired of pleasuring myself
Of not having a protective hand on the small of my back
No touch that sends electricity coursing through my body
Nobody to love me truly
For who I am
Deep from their heart
Seeing past my flaws
So far I try
to be the true love for my own self
I remind myself
that being single
is a privilege
Or is that just a lie
that we tell ourselves
to cope?
Dec 22, 2024
Dec 22, 2024 at 12:03 PM UTC
yellow honeysuckle
sweet pineapple
honey oozing
metallic blood
showered in the foam
of sugarcane juice
swimming in syrup
rich, thick sap
decadence
Aug 12, 2024
Aug 12, 2024 at 11:05 AM UTC
They want you to do everything they like.
They think they know what is right for you.
They project their feelings onto you.
They are elitist.
They are too money-minded.
They think certain jobs are beneath you when those jobs are essential to society.
They prefer boy children for some reason.
They have an obsession with fair skin and thin body types.
They eat too much rice.
Jun 4, 2024
Jun 4, 2024 at 8:10 PM UTC
Why did God
make me this way
It's actually rare
to be so ambitious
to have this superpower
the ability to be so versatile
Nobody accepts it
It's seen as
lazy,
indecisive,
fickle
I can't choose one thing
and stick to it
like everyone else
I don't know what I'm
passionate about
By my age, I should know
my friends know
what they like
my family members know
what they like
why don't I know?
What am I meant for?
I feel like a puzzle piece
that is being fit
into the wrong puzzle
It feels uncomfortable
unnatural
to force yourself
to do something
that isn't for you
It makes me hate my life.
Jun 4, 2024
Jun 4, 2024 at 8:02 PM UTC
Unable to feel
Unable to do the things you love
Everything is boring
Nothing is fun
Nothing brings joy
You're just existing
Waiting.
Waiting for what?
The next day?
Your next vacation?
A new job?
A relationship?
Nothing will bring true joy anyway
It all last for mere seconds, days at most
and dissipates eventually
It's hard to verbalize
what its like in this mind
in this body
To not enjoy anything
To not enjoy the things you used to love
To need the stinging feeling of a razor across your skin
to feel clarity
To not love food the same way you used to
To want to sleep at 7:30 pm every night
because what's the point in staying up any longer
when there is nothing to do, nothing to enjoy
To sleep as much as you can to escape reality
People say to love yourself, focus on you
but how can you focus on you when it isn't enjoyable to
when there is nothing to uplift yourself for
when the focus turns into getting to bed
as soon as possible?
Oct 30, 2023
Oct 30, 2023 at 6:09 PM UTC
Butterflies flutter
Through a crisp, cool, green forest
Landing on noses
Curious humans craving nature
Tiny legs tickling warm skin
Jun 28, 2023
Jun 28, 2023 at 9:57 PM UTC
Greenery full of life
sits atop hills
beneath a moody grey sky
lush shrubs, bushes, trees
a sight lusted over
by people like me
a guilty pleasure
for those from Michigan suburbs
stationery, observing humans
the fast moving traffic below
semis rushing to make deliveries
people getting to jobs they hate
or don't mind
in outfits they aren't comfortable wearing
road rage
accidents on the highway
houses sit atop them
steep backyards
even they wonder
why anyone would live there
people can fall into traffic
their steepness is not something they can help
flights flying overhead
humans making it to events
thinking they are so important
living a life of privilege and ability
nature is peaceful, kind
unbothered, it's number one hobby:
people-watching.
Jun 1, 2023
Jun 1, 2023 at 5:45 PM UTC
I imagined a place in your heart and mind
But both of those places
Have become occupied
by a better tenant of your choice
I was waiting to see if you were
the right home for me
But I didn't put in my offer
fast enough.
Now my dream home is being
lived in, felt, breathed in, and cared for
by a tenant who is much better than me
I was ready
I had packed all my boxes,
The most meaningful memories
ready to be unleashed in this home
But now I'm left astray
with these boxes
in my U-Haul
That I don't know where to drive
I have to find another place,
But I can't move on right now
I can't find one as good as yours
Maybe your house wasn't as
great as I thought
and it was a sign from God
But now I'm stranded
Figuring out where to take this truck full of
boxes and heavy feelings
I secretly hope that your tenant will grow to dislike
what you're leasing out
I hope she'll one day decide to move out
and hope that you will offer it to me.
Apr 22, 2023
Apr 22, 2023 at 12:55 AM UTC
It's raining outside
we're off work
we're lying in your soft bed
warm from both the covers,
and the heat of each other's skin
We wake up groggy
I place my hand on your chest hair
feeling the thumping of your heart beneath
as we lay there,
I use my fingers
To sweep away that long, beautiful hair
The hair your parents hate
While you sleep peacefully
As I watch you, I wonder
If you'll ever know how many times
I stared at your Facebook photos
How many pages I wasted in my journal
How much time I spent in a dream land
daydreaming just the two of us,
and our families
intertwining
Mar 14, 2023
Mar 14, 2023 at 4:49 PM UTC
I'll box you up and pack you away
just like all the others
who led my life astray
I was only a mere stranger in your life,
how I was to all the other men
All you are is a memory now,
for I will never see you again
My unquenched desire for you
is still caged inside me
I'll throw thoughts of you into
my memories box,
memories that will remind me
of my failure to love the men I desire
Feb 28, 2023
Feb 28, 2023 at 10:16 PM UTC