When I walk outside in the dead of night,
I think I will see your car parked in front of my house,
like you used to do when you would throw rocks at my window.
sometimes I think the glow of the stove light
against the glass door in the kitchen
will produce an image of your face,
for it, I would lie awake and wait.
last breath before I sleep to make
your body in a home I do not recognize.
this woman is not your mother
and I am not your lover,
anymore.
I know the way to your house in my dreams,
I keep the key in my pocket, but I can never pick it up
and I wonder, when you walk outside in the dead of night,
do you fear you’ll see my car parked in front of your house?
like I used to do when we made love in your bedroom.
—HCB
Dec 6, 2020
Dec 6, 2020 at 3:04 AM UTC
with nothing now to take me from you
we can sit in that open prairie
think of all the things we’ve done and yet to do
I will not ignore you
I will not ignore you
when the water comes to flood and with it take the trees
i will take you unto me under gritted teeth and
when the rain makes rivers that dissolve the ground
I will not let you drown
I will not let you drown
HCB
Dec 3, 2020
Dec 3, 2020 at 2:24 AM UTC
I like the feeling of warm water on my back,
it passes the time.
for I am timid, leaving room,
my mind etches an arms length away,
your hand in mine.
I’ll write about you after you’re gone,
how your heart beat so hard
against my head in the sun.
sweet grass and dirt on my nose,
you’ll wash me clean,
we’ll meet again and turn to mud.
I’ll find solace in the sun,
the way it beats down on my face.
it’ll turn me red with love,
like your words against my ears.
you’ll lead us to the quiet places,
forage us a home.
we’ll build from sticks and stones.
It’ll rain as we sleep,
covering us in tears.
kick my feet up on your leg,
passing the time,
with warm water on my back.
May 22, 2019
May 22, 2019 at 5:58 PM UTC
I saw a picture of
the way you look now
The weight you lost
from your body
and your shoulders,
Because I am no longer
a burden atop them.
I wonder if you know
what my hair looks like now
Or how I wear it curly
just like you always said I should
sometimes I think maybe
you'll never find
anybody better than me
Because my love was different
But then I think maybe
I'm the one
Who will never
find anybody
Because unlike you
My love was able to stray
From your lips
and those hands
That touched me
In the middle of the night
I wake up thinking
I am drowning
When I realize that
you're not there next to me
But I am hopeful,
grounded in flesh and bone
And even without your water
I tell myself that
my garden will continue to grow
Feb 28, 2017
Feb 28, 2017 at 10:54 AM UTC
The first two weeks
I lie in bed shaking
As soon as I wake up
Two hours too early
Toss and turn
Sick to my stomach
I cry in the shower
And on my way to work
One month after
I find myself in bars alone
drinking until the memory of you fades
I know that I should leave
But unlike you I choose to stay.
I slept with somebody new,
I left in the middle of the night
When I realized
I wasn't lying next to you
Two months after
I forgot the sound of your voice
I've done some things I shouldn't
It went through my nose
And into my brain
I'm dodging men like bullets
I'm numbing all the pain
Three months after
I text you that I love you
And you never reply
I haven't cried in months now
But I still can't say goodbye
I forget the way you smell
Your side of the bed is filled with books
I remember when you first said you loved me
My heart, oh how it shook.
Dec 22, 2016
Dec 22, 2016 at 8:35 PM UTC
i was 8 years old when
I first watched you
snort white powder
up your nose
into the cavity
of your heart
where me and mom
should have lied
you said it was temporary
that you were okay
but on the ride home
i'd count all the times
the car would sway
Dec 16, 2016
Dec 16, 2016 at 4:33 PM UTC
You were sound asleep
Grinding your teeth
I slip away from the covers
Where our hands touch underneath
Count your breaths with every step
That I take towards the door
I could leave out of the window
As to not creak the floor
A swift escape in the middle of the night
A kiss on your cheek and I flick off the light
You never did move to tell me goodbye
As my presence continues to linger on by your side
Nov 30, 2016
Nov 30, 2016 at 10:53 AM UTC
Physical beauty is like the wrapping paper on a gift,
All the person cares about is what's on the inside,
And although they may compliment you on your paper choice
They'll soon forget about it completely.
Aug 10, 2016
Aug 10, 2016 at 11:06 PM UTC
Hearing you
Say her
name was
like taking
down
a shot of
Whiskey
Until I
remembered
that you
weren't really
ever my
Cup of tea
Jan 27, 2016
Jan 27, 2016 at 11:01 PM UTC
Your friends talk **** about you
And say they hate your car
But to your face they say they like it
And that they also like who you are
Jan 3, 2016
Jan 3, 2016 at 4:43 PM UTC