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guidingstar
25/Gender Fluid/Space (He/They)
Diving into an endless void with never ending clocks that float in every direction Ticking to time zones that no longer exist. Cascading upside down I rise into a world on a distorted path of the less traveled. I land on a solid platform of rocks and rubble. filled with no sense of security I walk towards a figure with a face of light projecting old memories onto a wall of painted pain. It’s filled with uncomplimentary colors devoid of all light. I float to the wall that was created on the tears of bad luck and I paint my yellow light down the wall in a single stroke. It ages instantly becoming duller but The yellow remains moving along with the other colors. I move my hand against the wall as I am pulled upwards and I can no longer touch it and it eventually vanishes away. I float higher looking up towards a light. it engulfs me, now it is all that surrounds me. Leaving my shadow with nowhere to land, so I caress them in my arms. I hear clicking and I close my eyes. "Have all the opportunities passed? Have all the paths ended?" I feel the warmth of everlasting sunshine on my skin and the sounds of calming winds and rustling leaves. I open my eyes to see a bountiful blue sky of puffy white clouds and rainbow rays of sunshine. with emerald green grass forming to the shape of my hands and with no sense of purpose, I smile.
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Feb 28, 2022
Feb 28, 2022 at 5:32 PM UTC
Time
Who is this girl that twirls around at twilight under the crescent moonlight and the fading sun? With tears running down her face, she holds an angelic smile upon her face. What does she see? What does she hear? and What does she feel? Black feathers begin to fall, circling around the ruffles of her black dress, landing by her bare-feet. Who is this girl and why does she turn at this hour? What has she gained? and what has she lost? Only time will tell, yet here I am feeling found while being lost in her day-spring eyes.
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Jul 10, 2020
Jul 10, 2020 at 6:45 PM UTC
Sorrowful Wish
My head and heart are split so Please excuse me if I sound confusing And make no more sense My brain has 2 sides, 1 is ruling proudly and the other is sadly devastating 1 makes me HAPPY:) And the other makes mesad:( it is a battle of being kind and being lost in my mind My heart is split With two equal halves The heart of a lover And the heart of a killer One falls too easily for traps And the other sets them It's very odd to be broken hearted And be a breaker of hearts. So I am split right down the middle An axe making a clean split but I've gotten better with my halves. Maybe one day I’ll stitch them up and see who I become.
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May 17, 2019
May 17, 2019 at 8:58 AM UTC
%Axe
I want you to say the words I've been dying to hear Physically dying, making me ill I want those unspoken words to heal me They are there, I know you want to say them. They are kicking their legs back and forth while sitting on the tip of your tongue waiting to jump. Let your emotions pour out. Sing to me the song inside your heart. Tell me the words that will heal me. ... I know I'm wrong. I don't know what goes on in your mind. I make your feelings up inside my head to ease the pain you cause but I know you don't love me not the way I love you. so I'll sit here and pretend you love me until I learn to love myself.
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May 17, 2019
May 17, 2019 at 8:46 AM UTC
Longing for your feelings that I make inside my head
Water ripples to the stones I throw they sink into the waters of my sadness. I have almost drowned in those waters. So why do I keep skipping stones?
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Feb 23, 2019
Feb 23, 2019 at 8:14 PM UTC
Skipping Stones
My feelings are unresolved Im flustered with the facts of reality. There is no one to blame, just the unlucky deck that life has handed us. We had to part for reasons beyond our control. But that doesn’t ease me. I can't be mad at you. I can’t say you were bad. I can’t say you were distant. I can’t say anything, because it wasn’t your fault and it wasn’t mine. It was the place, the time, it was everything but us. + You made me feel comfortable, you made me feel safe, you made me feel loved, even in the short time we had. You understood me better than most did and I cherish that. No one understands me, but you made sense of my nonsense. There are more words to say but not enough time and not enough lines So for now I’ll sadly say Goodbye, until next time. - S.C.S.
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Feb 23, 2019
Feb 23, 2019 at 7:56 PM UTC
Beyond Control + My feelings for you
It pushes me Back and forth Putting me on a whirlwind Filled with so many emotions You can catch me with feelings of love Or feelings of sadness It can drop me into feelings Of anger Or feeling Of joy I can feel so many things For a certain amount of times. But I will always know this. The wind is always changing and that I will not stay in those feelings I will stay in those places I will always be moving with time.
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Jan 22, 2019
Jan 22, 2019 at 12:11 AM UTC
The Winds of Time
Oh, love. I revisit the idea of you over and over. How you have made my life so much better and so much worse. I keep thinking you are the key. You are the thing keeping me from being happy and if I finally catch you. I will be happy. But I am starting to think that you have caused more sadness instead. But maybe that is your purpose? Maybe the lack of happiness in my life is something else. I have lived my life drowning in fantasies so that I could hide from the world. Now that I’ve come back to this world and tried to enjoy what it has to offer me. I can’t help but roll my eyes of boredom.
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Nov 7, 2018
Nov 7, 2018 at 10:17 PM UTC
A False Sense of Fantasy
A static feeling of un-enthusiasm   and standard pleasantries. this world isn’t the same as the one that goes inside my head. That one is filled with adventure and promise. I crave something with meaning. But the closest I can get is my writing and re-enacting stories already told. I'm struggling to find purpose and meaning I wonder if I will I wonder.
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Nov 7, 2018
Nov 7, 2018 at 4:32 PM UTC
Worldview
A field of colors laid before our eyes. This serene countryside filled with so many new possibilities. Happiness filled our hearts. He turned to me and looked at me with those hazel eyes that enchanted me so long ago and said, "Sometimes you will get the chance to see a landscape so simple, yet so alluring and filled with beauty, that it fills you with such a sense of hope." "The fields of flowers filled with bashful greens flaming with different shades of reds and pinks working in harmony with the sun's rays." "It makes you think that this world is precious, and our future will be golden." He grabbed my hand and smiled, and pulled me towards our field of hope.
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Oct 27, 2018
Oct 27, 2018 at 9:01 PM UTC
Field of Hope