when is it my turn?
I'm always waiting
staring at the stars
like they're staring back
but they're aimed
at anyone else
but me
I'm the brightest in the room
but the darkest soul
and nobody listens
to me scream
in this world of people
noticeable but unnoticed
by anyone with a mind
so I'll keep waiting
for it to be my turn
if it ever comes at all.
Jul 1, 2013
Jul 1, 2013 at 9:54 AM UTC
lonely girl
loved by no one
but small metal pieces
and the knowledge of her own disgrace
lonely life
lead by the dark path
set before her by an even darker mind
and an equally as dark past
lonely heart
shattered and repaired many times before
hanging by the thinnest of threads
frayed and seconds from breaking
lonely eyes
happy but hopeless
with a nice hint of depression
buried deep inside
lonely girl
forever loved by no one
but those small, metal pieces
and the truth of her own disgrace.
Jun 28, 2013
Jun 28, 2013 at 7:18 PM UTC
rainy days and getaways
I wish that I could've stayed
my heart is with you anyways
gloomy minds and darker times
like leaving you was such a crime
and now youre most of my life
shedding tears, bigger fears
of you never being here
because the future's hardly clear
faking smiles, wet floor tiles
thinking of our travelled miles
but our memories are neatly filed
wetter days and short getaways
wishing that we could have stayed
but my heart is with you anyways.
Jun 28, 2013
Jun 28, 2013 at 3:44 PM UTC
do you miss me?
will you miss me at all?
because my body is withering
almost as quickly as my willpower
my heart is slowly darkening
death slowly runs along my spine
seducing me with its grim smile
I'm giving in
because anything is better than this
death seems so lovely
and six feet under
has a much better view of the world
than living above ground
and seeing smiles of people
that I know will never love me
so I'll slip away
and give in to my dark lover
falling down into a grave
will you miss me at all?
Jun 22, 2013
Jun 22, 2013 at 7:08 PM UTC
I felt it
creeping through my fog
white and shining
treading the light
kicking away the gray
nipping at my toes
but I couldn't stop the black
from tickling its fingers
up my spine
funny, how such
simple words
can turn this lovely white mist
into a deep
black
hole.
and now
I'm walking on ink
staining not only
my heels
but my worn out
heart
how could I believe
that something could really
go perfectly?
I was treading the light
but now I'm drowning
in darkness.
Jun 18, 2013
Jun 18, 2013 at 9:28 PM UTC
inhale.
cloudy brain
lifted thoughts
not quite out of the gray
but fingertips brushing white
treading water
in a safe distance from the ground
the wind
beneath my inhaled wings
slowly drifting
among the clouds in my
brain.
exhale.
Jun 16, 2013
Jun 16, 2013 at 11:37 PM UTC
I wish I could believe
that love exists for me
but then I remember
all I read in my books
is just ink on a page
and a thought in my brain
praying that it could be real for me,
but the World continues
to show me fantasy
is just that; a fantasy, a dream
but I'll keep looking
for my storybook prince
dark eyes, dark mind
that brings light to my equally dark soul
and reminds me
that magic may truly exist
in this messed up world of ours
and just maybe
ill finally believe
that love exists for me.
Jun 15, 2013
Jun 15, 2013 at 9:18 PM UTC
'mama, why are the angels crying?'
with the sweet drops
of liquid hope
down, down
coating my face
dripping hair
feeling the water
wash away my inner demons
for the moment.
feeling the earth
dark and mystic
cryptic and damp
magick is free
and the earth is playful.
so I'll sit in the rain
letting it wash away my troubles
until the sun shines through
my little wet world of magick
the warmth doesn't always bring good
and the light doesn't
shine through my eternal darkness
let the angels cry
because their tears
only bring me peace.
Jun 14, 2013
Jun 14, 2013 at 12:33 PM UTC
I am lifted
above my monsters
away from the voices
and temptations
up above all things
dark
lonely
triggering.
with letters on a keyboard
trying to put my state
into carefully organized
words
though this isn't
really
what I truly wanted
while now I am in
a cloud of glowing white
I wanted to go
down
and sink into the earth
into its crust
to shake hands
with the
devil.
I wave at my monsters from
above
and while I know
my gut misses them
and
so does my heart
my brain is clawing
at my mind
telling me that
I shouldn't miss them
because then
you'll be normal
and stop stressing them all out
like they told us
'just be happy'
funny how the only
thing
that could make me
happy-ish
is a puff
of a sweet herb
or a snort
of cloud powder
funny.
for now
ill stay in my cloud
a little bubble
of feeling almost whole
for a while
before the pull
back to
reality
is too touch for
the big M to battle
but it will be fine
because
It's there
waiting for me
to step back into its dark embrace
and succumb
to my own demons.
Jun 11, 2013
Jun 11, 2013 at 11:08 PM UTC
caught in this
too real of a reality
where I'm forced
to look
in the eye
of my monsters
shake their hand
and say
'nice to see you again'.
when
salvation is so close
just a little smoke
a little *****
a little sniff
anything to
get
me
out
of
this
place
because I'm suffocated
by my nightmares
and beaten
by my own harsh consciousness
I need a release
something my
too busy brain
can't fight against
for once
so I'm reaching out
for a taste of a monster
bigger than my own
to drag me away
from
my
own
reality.
Jun 11, 2013
Jun 11, 2013 at 8:07 PM UTC