The air feels like rain again
I can almost taste it – damp and crisp
It’s something so familiar
And I can’t shake off this déjà vu
The sky is darker than his past
Which only seems ironic now
He kept his secrets buried so deep
But they’re about to come crashing down
He told me once that I was beautiful
And I wonder now if it was ever true
A smoke screen to hide behind
A wrong turning on a carefully laid road
I can hear a distinct rumble in my distance
Almost a drumroll for his inevitability
My deep breath teeters on the edge
Of my own hesitation
I am aware of the sound of my own breathing
Though he stands almost eerily silent
Entirely composed and arrogantly at ease
With the vastness of all his indiscretion
I’m unsure exactly how I knew
But when the heavens finally let go
I feel a certain comfort or even some relief
Knowing I now have nothing left to fear
And when the rain starts falling all around us
I am inexplicably warm and dry
While he is bathed in the fallout of every mistake he ever made
I can only smile, content with the opportunity of another day.
Dec 20, 2012
Dec 20, 2012 at 10:18 AM UTC
You came to me like a star. Bold and bright and untouchable. And you gave me the night sky, like nothing I had ever known before. The crescent moon and the Milky Way, constellations innumerable, possibilities vast and limitless. You held my hand and showed me how to fly. My very own boy who would never grow up; you said “to live would be an awfully big adventure,” and I held your hand and never let you go.
For every fight we ever had, for every letter you ever wrote, we were summer’s children, laughing and drinking in the dark. And when every rain came down, we ran to that pink house and waited out the storm.
And now every time it rains, I still remember every word. I still dream of every kiss. I still get butterflies. You and me down by the water. Close your eyes and kiss me.
I still believe in fairies and pirates and Indian braves. I still wait at my window for you to come and fly me away. I can’t erase the dreams we had, the words we said at dawn. For all the plans we laid, the promises we made and, in spite of everything, the price we had to pay.
And now every time it rains, every thunderstorm, every firework. Every shot of whiskey, every pool cue, every bar stool. You’re still here with me, the voice inside my head. So don’t waste your time on me. I won’t defeat these shadows.
I wish I could fly across the ocean, thousands of miles. Like a ghost, a shadow. Just to see that smile, just to tell you, I got Seattle on my horizon.
And now every time it rains, I still remember every word. I still dream of every kiss. I still get butterflies. You and me down by the water. Close your eyes and kiss me.
Aug 23, 2012
Aug 23, 2012 at 9:43 AM UTC