Too soon came the loss
Of those brave hearts
Pulsing in the holy brain
Compassion unmatched
Pounding on heavens door
We demand
Why does death come
To those who dare ask
Apr 22, 2019
Apr 22, 2019 at 1:14 PM UTC
Snap
A broken human
Bent too far
And snapped
icantdiscernherfromhermotherortherollinghillsnorthofsaltlakecity
Apr 21, 2019
Apr 21, 2019 at 4:26 PM UTC
I may go quietly from this world-
Swiftly, without protest
Or I may rage and burn
Like we think we should
I may become someone before it’s done
Someone whom the world loves and somehow isolates with that love
Maybe be remembered by that love
Or I could be taken out like a spider in a bathtub
Drowned unceremoniously
By something much larger than me
And be forgotten by the time the water heats
And hits the porcelain
Apr 10, 2019
Apr 10, 2019 at 8:33 PM UTC
As thoughts of death come careening through my mind,
I say yes
As fear pulses through my every atom,
I say yes
Take me when you will,
Grim Reaper
Hit me with the worst of life,
Dear god
Don’t spare me or protect me
Why start now?
Jan 12, 2019
Jan 12, 2019 at 1:34 PM UTC
I went on a walk today
I took a different route than I usually take
Snaked through parts of my past i usually avoid
For the sorrow or the nostalgia they bring me
Past the elementary school I went to in the 4th grade
Where i made friends with bullies and wore sparkly shoes
Past the house i nannied in for probably a week before i disappeared back into the bottle
And, by accident, really, past the house i later had my first one night stand
But it wasn’t there
It had been demolished and in its place lay a field of snow with a sign announcing a new building project
I was struck with a surprising delight
The idea that part of my past was literally bulldozed felt miraculous
It occurred to me for seemingly the first time
That things really do change
Things leave and new things take their place
As sedentary as my life has become
It’s hard to believe that anything takes on a new form
Across the street from the empty lot is Liberty Park
A park i’ve avoided like the plague for the past few years
I can hardly stand to look at it
But after seeing the remnants of my drunken hookup destroyed
I felt compelled to step onto the park’s outskirts
A flashback of walking with my ****** to get smokes came
And i stood as i watched myself slink along the grass with him
I saw the way she couldn’t breathe and couldn’t think
And i hugged her and she stepped inside of my body
And we walked
Then sprinted up the path
Saying goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
Jan 10, 2019
Jan 10, 2019 at 3:39 PM UTC
I don’t want to take your suffering from you.
I want to help you suffer. Greatly. Daringly.
Suffer with all of your might- your whole being.
Let hellfire be your furnace.
Your particular brand of suffering is a complete ecosystem.
Befriend the little demons.
Jan 8, 2019
Jan 8, 2019 at 5:39 PM UTC
I feel your sweet soul
Moving in and out of your body
Like a pendulum clock
Between the world of living and dying
You hide
Between your body
And eternity
The door ever-open
You are never really here with us
Out of the corner of your eye
You gaze at the flame
Breathless
Jan 1, 2019
Jan 1, 2019 at 2:35 PM UTC
somewhere inside
is eternal peace
outside of time
I am released
memories serve
a singular beast
who doesn't deserve
to come to the feast
Dec 14, 2018
Dec 14, 2018 at 3:41 PM UTC
Joy is always joy but oh do I relish in that feeling after having suffered so
Sadness is always sadness but oh how familiar it has become
I know sadness like it’s my home
I know joy like a distant lover who only comes to visit when the moon is full
I know the moon like I know my family
And I’ve whispered to her
A thousand secrets
I will whisper to her until my voice is buried in the earth
Humming and warming souls who lay upon the grass
Nov 30, 2018
Nov 30, 2018 at 3:56 PM UTC