Socks that hide secrets
Socks that hide shame
Socks that contain
the shadows of pain
They once pranced in the dryer
They now slump in the drawer
They send little sock homing signals galore
Fermenting the anguish
Makes the smell much more tolerable
It was all part of the ineffable plan
Jul 16, 2013
Jul 16, 2013 at 6:35 PM UTC
My goat has a speech impediment
when the doctor checked her throat
she could only say "AAAAAAAAAAAhhh"
not "ahhhhhhhhh"
The doctor broke the news to me one day
'your goat....has an impediment' he bleated quietly
I dashed out of his AAhffice
AAhway from his AAhccusatory statements
AAhnd rushed into the legs of my goat
'Goat...what are your legs doing there?'
i asked
and I looked up
and saw the goat dAAhngling above my head
'what in the world?!' I AAhxclaimed
'dearest Goat-etha, I had no AAhdea you could fly'
"every since AAh shAAhared mAAh secret, AAh felt so free, AAh could fly"
(she didn't sound like she had an impediment to me)
'but Goat-etha, you know you can't fly'
and she crashed to the ground
crushed by the knowledge
that not everything is possible
'dear Goath-etha, I still love you, you know'
and she stood back up
and ironed her previously-crushed legs
and walked to the doctor's office
and gave that man a kick in the bAAhlls
Dec 13, 2012
Dec 13, 2012 at 10:13 PM UTC
I only milk my goats by machine
Machines with hands that is
It would never do
do have a real person milk them
They might get attached
Then what would I do with a goat-human hybrid?
I suppose I could sell it on ebay
...or maybe even amazon
Would you like a goat-human for your birthday?
I hear they make great pets
Dec 13, 2012
Dec 13, 2012 at 8:40 PM UTC
for the prettiest goat in all the world
I would vote for you for president
of the blagosphere
Dec 13, 2012
Dec 13, 2012 at 8:30 PM UTC
I set a trap
a most devious trap
of CRACKERS TOPPED WITH CHEESE
I lured her in
most carefully
so that I could deceive
that goat so I could make it mine
and take it for a walk
up close it wobbled
("wobble baby, wobble baby, wobble baby, wobble yeahhh")
mesmerized by its dance moves
my head was struck by an epiphany
Ow. How did that happen?
How could I have been so wrong?
This goat clearly had plenty of moves
it could walk itself
Dec 13, 2012
Dec 13, 2012 at 8:26 PM UTC
When I was a mere child
no sneer yet settled upon my face
fascinated by all things - deer...beer (my parents were not the best, I fear)
but most of all by the thing at which i peered
the goat
Perusing the munchable selection that comprised my backyard
It searched for the delectable treat
Intrigued by its pointy ears, bobbing up and down
my childish eyes tracked its progress back and forth
back and forth like an indecisive typewriter
I vowed one day to obtain that goat
so we could prance about together
Dec 13, 2012
Dec 13, 2012 at 8:18 PM UTC
One morning
while bathing in the crepuscular rays
one struck me at a particularly odd angle
Right inside my brain it probed
illuminating a thought
long forgotten
cast aside among piles of discarded neural connections
The thought to walk a goat
Dec 13, 2012
Dec 13, 2012 at 8:11 PM UTC
Have you ever milked a goat?
well, I have not
But I've read about it in books
Before this bookish knowledge was bestowed upon me
I had mistaken goat udders for faucets
Imagine my surprise upon opening a book,
to see that the milk must be extracted by hand, by machine
but not once was the handy faucet turned
so I ventured to a goat farm
and there I was mistook
for the most crooked of humans
apparently I had that look
in my humble opinion
I was merely forsook
for the look of a nooked crook
Dec 13, 2012
Dec 13, 2012 at 8:09 PM UTC
Spreadable
Dipable
Nomable
(but not sippable)
Munched in the morning
Munched with crackers
Munched while flunching intelligent professor
You are definitely most delicious
when you come from a goat
Dec 13, 2012
Dec 13, 2012 at 8:02 PM UTC
Goats
Great
Ostentatious
Allegorical
Tyrantasaurus Rexes
Save the Earth (one goat cheese at a time)
Dec 13, 2012
Dec 13, 2012 at 8:01 PM UTC