girl - Hello Poetry

It was just a little test for myself Sometimes I like to do that, throw little challenges here and there I wanted to see if I could do what most girls fail at I wondered if I could spend the night with the cutest guy in school and not get attached A little drugs, a little drinking, the rest of the night together making memories he wouldn't remember But I woke up in the morning and left, freaking out I picked up my clothes and tried to put them on silently so I wouldn't wake him up I didn't want him to be angry He truly does have the most beautiful face I've ever seen Before I snuck out the door left ajar, I peeked back at him I'd never seen his hair product-less and messy like that I'd never seen his face so far away, thousands of miles in dreams and thoughts This man who drank and swore and didn't seem to have any soul at all Then looked to me like a beautiful, vulnerable child I knew I had to get out before the feelings came so I ditched that room as fast as possible I hopped over unconscious bodies still recovering from the haze of the previous night's party I finally found an empty recliner And dozed off I woke up two hours later in a fright I was in a room full of people I didn't even like Why did I go to that party anyway Those were not my people Drugs and drinking were not my thing Oh, now I remember It was his birthday party He who held me like a baby after a night of acts that would make any mother cringe I knew this recliner was a bad idea and wondered if there was any way I could get back in bed with that beautiful boy I knew I'd always regret it if I didn't I opened the door as silently as possible and crawled back under those thick white sheets I tried to lay as far away as possible, because people who don't have feelings for each other do not need to hold each other more than necessary And he had none for me And I could not have feelings for him Just when I felt a hollow sadness strike He reached out his foot and placed it adjacent to mine, a small gesture I let his instep match mine and sighed inexorably with content This little touch filled me with a happiness I'd never known No feelings though, remember? I chased that thought away and let my other foot get tangled up in his My legs followed and soon we were cuddled up again I peeked at him again and saw a trace of a smile on that (hungover and half-asleep, but beautiful) face I wanted to kiss him but I wasn't sure if that was allowed So I just pressed my smile against his arm We laid there forever it seemed Eventually though, he held me out at arms length and leaned away from me and began to cough He coughed a few times and apologized, then coughed just a few more Then he went back to sleep I can't explain the way I felt when those coughs hit him I wanted to reach out and hold him I know he smokes way too much But I felt like it was my fault his lungs weren't perfect I wanted to protect him from all things bad like coughing All the signs were there before, now that I look back But that's the exact moment when I knew feelings were going to be a problem

0

May 20, 2013

May 20, 2013 at 10:02 PM UTC

sunday morning in bed with a beautiful boy

It was just a little test for myself Sometimes I like to do that, throw little challenges here and there I wanted to see if I could do what most girls fail at I wondered if I could spend the night with the cutest guy in school and not get attached A little drugs, a little drinking, the rest of the night together making memories he wouldn't remember But I woke up in the morning and left, freaking out I picked up my clothes and tried to put them on silently so I wouldn't wake him up I didn't want him to be angry He truly does have the most beautiful face I've ever seen Before I snuck out the door left ajar, I peeked back at him I'd never seen his hair product-less and messy like that I'd never seen his face so far away, thousands of miles in dreams and thoughts This man who drank and swore and didn't seem to have any soul at all Then looked to me like a beautiful, vulnerable child I knew I had to get out before the feelings came so I ditched that room as fast as possible I hopped over unconscious bodies still recovering from the haze of the previous night's party I finally found an empty recliner And dozed off I woke up two hours later in a fright I was in a room full of people I didn't even like Why did I go to that party anyway Those were not my people Drugs and drinking were not my thing Oh, now I remember It was his birthday party He who held me like a baby after a night of acts that would make any mother cringe I knew this recliner was a bad idea and wondered if there was any way I could get back in bed with that beautiful boy I knew I'd always regret it if I didn't I opened the door as silently as possible and crawled back under those thick white sheets I tried to lay as far away as possible, because people who don't have feelings for each other do not need to hold each other more than necessary And he had none for me And I could not have feelings for him Just when I felt a hollow sadness strike He reached out his foot and placed it adjacent to mine, a small gesture I let his instep match mine and sighed inexorably with content This little touch filled me with a happiness I'd never known No feelings though, remember? I chased that thought away and let my other foot get tangled up in his My legs followed and soon we were cuddled up again I peeked at him again and saw a trace of a smile on that (hungover and half-asleep, but beautiful) face I wanted to kiss him but I wasn't sure if that was allowed So I just pressed my smile against his arm We laid there forever it seemed Eventually though, he held me out at arms length and leaned away from me and began to cough He coughed a few times and apologized, then coughed just a few more Then he went back to sleep I can't explain the way I felt when those coughs hit him I wanted to reach out and hold him I know he smokes way too much But I felt like it was my fault his lungs weren't perfect I wanted to protect him from all things bad like coughing All the signs were there before, now that I look back But that's the exact moment when I knew feelings were going to be a problem

57

I just hope we don't end up strangers again I wish we could repair what we've broken But you have too little time before your student visa expires And I have too little courage to put myself back out there I hope you remember me occasionally when you're 3,340 miles away

0

May 19, 2013

May 19, 2013 at 12:17 PM UTC

5/11/2013 8:53PM 00:02:53

I just hope we don't end up strangers again I wish we could repair what we've broken But you have too little time before your student visa expires And I have too little courage to put myself back out there I hope you remember me occasionally when you're 3,340 miles away

5

As your hand grips the headboard and mine grasps the wrinkled sheets I wonder what this is One night stands are supposed to be straight-forward We are not in a relationship But if I spent all year trying to get you And all night having you What do I do in the morning, when I have simply had you I no longer know how to speak with you I know there were no strings attached How do I casually let you know it would be fine if you ever wanted to do it again? I promise not to get emotionally attached We never have to be sober around each other We can take shots in your bed again I just wanna watch you take your bow-tie off again, I could help Something about you makes me want more I promise it's not emotional I can **** without it meaning anything just like you do It can be purely physical I almost wish one of us had left after You asked me if you could stay, but it was your bed anyway I asked you if I could stay, but you never answered You should have answered, you should have told me to get out Who the hell cuddles after a one night stand? I barely know you, but you read my body like braille Whispering drunken secrets after You don't get to teach me how to shift from screams to whispers so effortlessly and decide you only want it once Just one more time before you leave I swear I won't get emotionally attached

0

May 1, 2013

May 1, 2013 at 5:57 PM UTC

one night stand

As your hand grips the headboard and mine grasps the wrinkled sheets I wonder what this is One night stands are supposed to be straight-forward We are not in a relationship But if I spent all year trying to get you And all night having you What do I do in the morning, when I have simply had you I no longer know how to speak with you I know there were no strings attached How do I casually let you know it would be fine if you ever wanted to do it again? I promise not to get emotionally attached We never have to be sober around each other We can take shots in your bed again I just wanna watch you take your bow-tie off again, I could help Something about you makes me want more I promise it's not emotional I can **** without it meaning anything just like you do It can be purely physical I almost wish one of us had left after You asked me if you could stay, but it was your bed anyway I asked you if I could stay, but you never answered You should have answered, you should have told me to get out Who the hell cuddles after a one night stand? I barely know you, but you read my body like braille Whispering drunken secrets after You don't get to teach me how to shift from screams to whispers so effortlessly and decide you only want it once Just one more time before you leave I swear I won't get emotionally attached

29

One of the four lights over my vanity blew out today The bulb doesn't look the way it used to look It doesn't look the way it looked before the light It is hardly noticeable, but once you spot it you can tell It's a shade darker in one area; a little burnt patch from the light It was the light that blew out, not the bulb But now neither are useful What's a light without its bulb -- the glass casing to hold it in? A light without the bulb still shines It shines too brightly though Despite the high melting point, the tungsten filament can be extremely delicate It needs its glass case What is a bulb without a light -- that which makes it useful? What is the purpose to an empty glass ball? I suppose it can be beautiful, if viewed by the right person But can it really be appreciated by most without the light? One was delicate, it needed another to keep it from falling apart One was empty, and needed another to fill it with light Both needed each other So am I the light or the bulb? And which were you?

0

Apr 21, 2013

Apr 21, 2013 at 9:01 PM UTC

a light and its bulb

One of the four lights over my vanity blew out today The bulb doesn't look the way it used to look It doesn't look the way it looked before the light It is hardly noticeable, but once you spot it you can tell It's a shade darker in one area; a little burnt patch from the light It was the light that blew out, not the bulb But now neither are useful What's a light without its bulb -- the glass casing to hold it in? A light without the bulb still shines It shines too brightly though Despite the high melting point, the tungsten filament can be extremely delicate It needs its glass case What is a bulb without a light -- that which makes it useful? What is the purpose to an empty glass ball? I suppose it can be beautiful, if viewed by the right person But can it really be appreciated by most without the light? One was delicate, it needed another to keep it from falling apart One was empty, and needed another to fill it with light Both needed each other So am I the light or the bulb? And which were you?

21

When I was still a first-year I did some research Just as a science project I looked into the danger of wildfires I discovered that in some national parks Fires are intentionally set Just to clear out underbrush which restricts the growth of the older trees It makes perfect sense But addressing the concept baffled me Setting a fire on purpose could help preserve the life of a stronger entity As long as the fire is contained So all those little arguments that seem like wildfires Might not be so bad Maybe they are to clear out the so called "underbrush" The minor things that restrict the growth of the stronger entity, that is our relationship Shouldn't the stronger entity come first? As long as our arguments are contained, I believe they can help us to grow Because I read somewhere that fires are intentionally set For a better purpose

0

Apr 21, 2013

Apr 21, 2013 at 6:55 PM UTC

Fires are intentionally set

When I was still a first-year I did some research Just as a science project I looked into the danger of wildfires I discovered that in some national parks Fires are intentionally set Just to clear out underbrush which restricts the growth of the older trees It makes perfect sense But addressing the concept baffled me Setting a fire on purpose could help preserve the life of a stronger entity As long as the fire is contained So all those little arguments that seem like wildfires Might not be so bad Maybe they are to clear out the so called "underbrush" The minor things that restrict the growth of the stronger entity, that is our relationship Shouldn't the stronger entity come first? As long as our arguments are contained, I believe they can help us to grow Because I read somewhere that fires are intentionally set For a better purpose

19

I remember wandering down the streets of Boston On a shopping expedition to find the perfect earrings for the show that night I couldn't wear just any old pair to the Opera House I saw a staircase in an alleyway Leading to the basement of an old building I would've steered clear But there was a little wooden sign "old books" I made a strict detour and spent forever in the underground bookstore It was a maze of shelves The smell of the old ink & paper was intoxicating What Opera House? What earrings? What obligations? If I could spend my life in one place It would be that little Boston bookstore

0

Apr 16, 2013

Apr 16, 2013 at 11:22 PM UTC

"Old Books"

I remember wandering down the streets of Boston On a shopping expedition to find the perfect earrings for the show that night I couldn't wear just any old pair to the Opera House I saw a staircase in an alleyway Leading to the basement of an old building I would've steered clear But there was a little wooden sign "old books" I made a strict detour and spent forever in the underground bookstore It was a maze of shelves The smell of the old ink & paper was intoxicating What Opera House? What earrings? What obligations? If I could spend my life in one place It would be that little Boston bookstore

16

cha-ris-ma /kəˈrizmə/ Compelling charm that can inspire devotion in others Can you imagine? Being so fluent with your words, so ably presentable that you could encourage and influence people to take action?

0

Apr 16, 2013

Apr 16, 2013 at 11:15 PM UTC

Charisma

cha-ris-ma /kəˈrizmə/ Compelling charm that can inspire devotion in others Can you imagine? Being so fluent with your words, so ably presentable that you could encourage and influence people to take action?

5

I thought it was going to be better They always warn you Judy Blume thought she could explain So you prepare yourself that physically it won't prosper Maybe that's not what they meant Did they mean emotionally? I hoped maybe I'd fall in love But I didn't You're still just a boy And I'm still just a girl And there's nothing that could have prepared me for that epiphany

0

Apr 16, 2013

Apr 16, 2013 at 11:09 PM UTC

The First

I thought it was going to be better They always warn you Judy Blume thought she could explain So you prepare yourself that physically it won't prosper Maybe that's not what they meant Did they mean emotionally? I hoped maybe I'd fall in love But I didn't You're still just a boy And I'm still just a girl And there's nothing that could have prepared me for that epiphany

11

It began as an indirect interest Transformed into a simple acquaintanceship Quietly building A little unsure, both hopeful He watched my favorite movies with me I wish I could've invented a new word for cuddling; Our bodies fit like puzzle pieces that day It left me feeling shaky and scared as hell when we finally parted The first kiss was my favorite part Not knowing what was going to happen next I would've sat through thousands of his games I always said I didn't want to but I would've helped carry his equipment anywhere, anytime His left eyebrow always challenged me Your unshaven jaw always managed to find the perfect place against my cheek I've never spent that much time on the phone I can't imagine trying to laugh as quietly as possible in the latest hours of the night with anyone else I can't describe it That feeling when everything in the world is just right, because of one person? That's not what this was Because it was rarely ever right This isn't a love poem Puzzle pieces can't make up for endless arguments Being ignored all night Getting adjusted to the fact that "hockey friends" means that he's with his ex-girlfriend Seeing hand-written letters from her still in his room when I finally gave everything He was so in the wrong, so why was I being interrogated? Controlling is not the word I’d use, I was always given a choice But what was I supposed to do When he didn’t like anything I did but all I wanted was to be with him "I don’t want you to go to that party "I trust you, I just don’t trust them "I’ll talk to you after this movie I’m at with all my female friends "I don’t like how many guy friends you have "Do you think he’s cute? "Do you talk to other boys? "Do you think about other boys? "Promise? "Tell me that you promise "Are you lying? "Tell me that you’re not lying "You should tell me all the guys you were into before me "I don’t like when you talk about your exes "If you don’t want to argue then just hang up the phone "Why do you always hang up on me? "Why are you always mad about nothing? "Why do you always start arguments? Everything starts out innocent But it’s not long before things began their descent Getting to know people is exciting Until you start fighting Liking someone can be the best feeling in the world But it’s never long before everything becomes unfurled I’ve always heard that a good relationship takes compromise and hard work I heard that in a good relationship you have to apologize for what you’ve done wrong But eventually I was apologizing for everything and it didn’t even take long So how long do you have to know someone before all the good in your relationship peaks? How long do you have to know someone before they make a lasting impression?

0

Apr 16, 2013

Apr 16, 2013 at 10:54 PM UTC

February 2

It began as an indirect interest Transformed into a simple acquaintanceship Quietly building A little unsure, both hopeful He watched my favorite movies with me I wish I could've invented a new word for cuddling; Our bodies fit like puzzle pieces that day It left me feeling shaky and scared as hell when we finally parted The first kiss was my favorite part Not knowing what was going to happen next I would've sat through thousands of his games I always said I didn't want to but I would've helped carry his equipment anywhere, anytime His left eyebrow always challenged me Your unshaven jaw always managed to find the perfect place against my cheek I've never spent that much time on the phone I can't imagine trying to laugh as quietly as possible in the latest hours of the night with anyone else I can't describe it That feeling when everything in the world is just right, because of one person? That's not what this was Because it was rarely ever right This isn't a love poem Puzzle pieces can't make up for endless arguments Being ignored all night Getting adjusted to the fact that "hockey friends" means that he's with his ex-girlfriend Seeing hand-written letters from her still in his room when I finally gave everything He was so in the wrong, so why was I being interrogated? Controlling is not the word I’d use, I was always given a choice But what was I supposed to do When he didn’t like anything I did but all I wanted was to be with him "I don’t want you to go to that party "I trust you, I just don’t trust them "I’ll talk to you after this movie I’m at with all my female friends "I don’t like how many guy friends you have "Do you think he’s cute? "Do you talk to other boys? "Do you think about other boys? "Promise? "Tell me that you promise "Are you lying? "Tell me that you’re not lying "You should tell me all the guys you were into before me "I don’t like when you talk about your exes "If you don’t want to argue then just hang up the phone "Why do you always hang up on me? "Why are you always mad about nothing? "Why do you always start arguments? Everything starts out innocent But it’s not long before things began their descent Getting to know people is exciting Until you start fighting Liking someone can be the best feeling in the world But it’s never long before everything becomes unfurled I’ve always heard that a good relationship takes compromise and hard work I heard that in a good relationship you have to apologize for what you’ve done wrong But eventually I was apologizing for everything and it didn’t even take long So how long do you have to know someone before all the good in your relationship peaks? How long do you have to know someone before they make a lasting impression?

58

I wish I could write beautiful things I think I imagine beautiful things But I can't be sure Each time I write them down They turn to **** I think they might be ugly things My writing is not as beautiful as I had hoped I just want to be part of beautiful things

0

Apr 16, 2013

Apr 16, 2013 at 10:29 PM UTC

things

I wish I could write beautiful things I think I imagine beautiful things But I can't be sure Each time I write them down They turn to **** I think they might be ugly things My writing is not as beautiful as I had hoped I just want to be part of beautiful things

8