Days become a blur
Weeks, months, years roll by
The washing tide scouring the earth,
The tundra, the lakes, the forests of my mind
Shedding foliage like an old coat of skin
Sloughing thoughts off the tip of my tongue
Beating against my skull
Like grains of sand in a glass bottle.
Washed upon the shores of isolation,
A lost plea for help ruined past recognition.
Sounds of laughter, pictures of a smile
Samples to emulate in the darkest times
Your light is my sun,
Pulling me closer, giving me sustenance
Even as passion burns me away.
Under your brightness the sorrows retreat,
Finding shadows crawling out of reach.
I can hold my head up, and feel my spring coming.
Time slows- stops, under your touch
Hand in mine, I am anew
Clarity granted, like snow melting off the land
A refreshing spirit splashed across my face
As the current races, oblivious.
I can only see what passes in front of me,
But I can imagine where this river leads.
Feb 15, 2012
Feb 15, 2012 at 7:26 PM UTC
Through life's twists and turns,
I am the hunted.
With barrels breathing down my neck,
One day this race
Will come to an end.
As I dodge these bullets,
Can't help but see your face
Across this barren tundra.
I will trudge on.
Carrying on through this tragedy,
I know we'll meet again,
And I can't wait to see
What form I'll take
When I'm forced to meet my maker.
Moving on from safety
To see the great unknown,
As I hide from my darkness
and fight someone else's war.
Today may be my last,
but I can taste a bittersweet victory
In my ending.
(Time seems endless when
I'm hanging by a string,
Waiting for the day
They flip my coin.
I'll let fate decide
When it's my turn to fall.)
Carrying on through this tragedy,
I know we'll meet again;
And I can't wait to see
What form I'll take
When I'm forced to meet my maker.
Jul 1, 2011
Jul 1, 2011 at 7:38 PM UTC
A lot of beauty's been lost,
just flown by it seems.
All these moments you try so hard
to hold close to infinite,
slip right through your fingers.
What's to say you tried
to never forget, to never end
a beautiful thing,
When you always crush the petals,
grasping at memories.
Somewhere in life
there'll be a day
when all the pretty things
you ever saw will find a way
to eat you from the insde,
to decay your self.
What's to say you tried
to never forget, to never end
a beautiful thing
When you always crush the petals,
grasping at memories.
All that time wasted
grasping for the pause button
all the **** you missed,
trying to capture the moment
The beauty will destroy you.
Apr 25, 2011
Apr 25, 2011 at 8:43 PM UTC
It’s hard to stay,
When everything inside screams to run
As far as, as quick as, as soon as
Possible.
But that look in your eyes
Brings me back from the miles
Down the road I can see;
Brings me back from the places
I don’t want to be.
I never wanted a future,
But you make me believe
Maybe there’s something inside
Other than this feeling-
Like I’ve always got to hide.
At the first sign of trouble,
I’ve always been the first to let go;
The last to look back;
The furthest away from dependable,
When it really matters the most.
That look in your eyes
Brings me back from the miles
Down the road I can see;
Brings me back from the places
I don’t want to be.
I’ll always come home to see you smile.
Mar 18, 2011
Mar 18, 2011 at 10:46 PM UTC
I see you circling me
The look in your eyes,
the smell of my blood
I see your hunger for my destruction.
Faces blurred in and out of focus,
voices tuned in to another dimension
I'm already gone, already out
I'm already down
You can't have me.
I won't fall to my knees
you won't see me begging, here
there will be no pleas
I'll give you no satisfaction
My combustion will be internal,
self destruction at its best
I'll leave you no comfort,
no forgiveness to lay you to rest
Faces blurred in and out of focus,
voices tuned in to another dimension
I'm already gone, already out
I'm already down
You can't have me.
(Not this time)
Circling me, I see the doors of my life
open, close, lights from the distant
past-present-future come together to haunt me;
but know this failure is my own
chemical creation- not your doing.
you won't have me this time.
I'm already gone, already out
I'm already down
(You can't reach me here.)
Mar 18, 2011
Mar 18, 2011 at 9:20 PM UTC
You're always lost when I need you
always looking for answers you'll never find
you're going in circles, saying you've got to move
all I see is you runnin' in place
I'll keep you here as long as I can hold on
close you in my arms, and stop these motions
to end something that was never given a chance
you say it's time to move on, but you never got here to begin with
a touch of hands, a brush of auras
I'll never be the same
I know you haven't gone anywhere in a **** long time
but you moved me too far to just hide.
Jan 24, 2011
Jan 24, 2011 at 8:39 PM UTC
The dark silence of late night
on a cold, suburban neighborhood.
This is the **** that fuels nightmares.
She told me once, a girl I once loved,
that silence was a force worth reckoning with.
As I think of my cold, empty bed,
I understand the truth in her words,
and I realize how much time I spent
trying to fill that silence with noise- any noise.
Until I drowned out the only sounds that mattered.
Goosebumps and palpable breath-
32 degrees is not t-shirt weather,
but I'm just here to learn, to observe.
I'm just a tourist in this quiet hour;
I will take my notes and leave.
Cold, dead cars and slinking strays
populate the streets alongside me.
I pretend that I am invisible,
and that this road is infinite.
I pretend I could walk forever, and disappear.
Really, oblivion is what this is about.
You wanna talk catharsis-
how about a full body expulsion?
I am not me, but an observer
on this quiet, dreary night.
Only a few wisps of clouds
encompass the full moon.
The stars emphasize my unimportance,
and the sky is rather unsympathizing.
Closed windows and dark doorways are no better.
I trudge on, looking for signs of life
other than the abandoned.
Looking for a wearied soul to match my own,
for someone to take one look into my eyes and say
"I understand."
Without the sun to illuminate them,
the gardens aren't nearly as impressive,
and front yards are just a gray area
separating the living and the dead.
Those houses are beyond my reach, now.
I walk on, into an oblivion,
the one I searched for my entire life.
No pain, no thoughts, only this silence.
This ******* silence.
I wish I would have listened to sound, rather than noise.
Jan 24, 2011
Jan 24, 2011 at 8:37 PM UTC
I'll scream to break this oath of silence
sworn to keep me from
darkest corners of my mind.
A tidal wave to break the levees
I put up to promise that I'll be fine.
You were never in it
for me, only yourself.
Just a player moving a pawn.
Always saw things in pros and cons,
black and white, I am the grey.
Here I lay in the middle
of your dreams and your worst nightmare:
too good to let go, too painful to keep close.
I linger in the shadows,
so that you can be tolerant.
Took this oath of silence,
for your peace of mind.
(Because I need you more
than you've ever needed me.)
You were never in it
for me, only yourself.
Just a player moving a pawn.
Always saw things in pros and cons,
black and white, I am the grey.
I'll scream to break this oath of silence,
a tidal wave to bring down the levees.
I'll scream to bring your worst nightmares
into sight, I'll bring down the walls of your dreams.
I needed you more than you ever needed me.
Jan 24, 2011
Jan 24, 2011 at 8:35 PM UTC
Another dream,
another time,
I'm not calling you.
Just another night
I have to pull through.
You taught me well
of the world's faults.
I knew I'd watch as friends
came and went- I can stand that,
but not how our story ends.
Jan 2, 2011
Jan 2, 2011 at 9:09 PM UTC
yeah, well
pictures aren't worth everything-
maybe a thousand words,
but not the sound of a voice or
the whisper of a touch
or that moment when you met
and you just knew.
I couldn't give you a picture
to tell you this story
of a girl I met six months ago
who didn't take my breath,
but gave me air.
the crooked smile and the
bright eyes dimmed by reproduction
the nervous hands and the awkward, yet comfortable
silences and conversation,
and the littlest touches
that always seemed so overwhelming.
the shared cigarettes and habits
and the missed calls and exchanges
the constant waiting and looking
and hope that she'd still be there;
the hooks that caught and sunk and
never got cut loose
so there were never any ends to tie.
the looks and the hints of a smile
of a feeling, of a desperation
for something new and unknown
and overall, dangerous.
I could give you a picture,
it just wouldn't be fair.
Jan 1, 2011
Jan 1, 2011 at 6:19 PM UTC