kind understanding,
you are a gentle soul.
the thankfulness in my eyes and words
could never fill the shoes of what I owe.
sometimes, you are so blind,
to the horrors that fizz within people,
the lie they dance in front of you.
and my tactics get tangled
with my shortening opportunities.
and I ought to be strangled
with my own hands (please)
I am not here to drag
you down with me,
I just adore you,
loved your company.
Every night I spent alone,
are the nights I think about the stones
we've thrown,
and how the hinges never break
when we slam the door.
Dec 17, 2015
Dec 17, 2015 at 1:46 AM UTC
I try to open up but have yet to be
understood
I've seen a lot of ****** up ****
But it'll do me good.
When it boils down to what's left and
what's intact,
Don't ever speak like I'm
at fault for that,
Because it's true.
Just wanted my thoughts to be held by you,
Whats the ******* point I'll just be
mistaken my whole life,
By some bigot that assumes that what I'm saying
is that "I just wanna die."
Go on, I don't need your doctors help,
I'll go back to letting my book alone,
unforgotten on the shelf.
Oct 26, 2015
Oct 26, 2015 at 2:53 AM UTC
I often ponder sliding off this rock
and float until I find my comfort zone,
my love is greater than the distance,
I call him, "home"
But safety is not a comfort to me,
an anxious kid in sorry soot.
Never free from those that raised me
I wanna prove you wrong but I can do anything but
Weeping willow in disguise,
curse I'll have for the rest of my life
I care too much, but hate myself
my stupid head is giving me hell
Sep 30, 2015
Sep 30, 2015 at 11:00 PM UTC
Every once in a while I get this feeling in my gut
so vile that it throws me down
in a rut because I don't know why my body still cries about it
When you were the monster that dragged me down to suicide,
my "selfish crime",
the **** I just wanted someone to understand,
but all I got was "friends" throwing hands
and kicking me out,
coughing up sand,
I couldn't hydrate in that drought,
so I escaped and went south..
vacationed for a while by putting things in my mouth,
the one part of my body you don't linger on anymore,
guess "when it rains it pours"
cause I can't seem to recover from this storm
Don't know if I should talk to you,
tired of thinking "maybe he misses me too"
Jun 20, 2015
Jun 20, 2015 at 3:19 PM UTC
I'M GETTING OLDER,
AND MY SKIN IS DRYING OUT.
I'M WONDERING WHEN WILL THINGS WILL MAKE SENSE,
WHEN WILL I BE CONFIDENT IN WHAT I'M ABOUT?
WHEN WILL THE LOVE I RECEIVE
NOT DEPEND ON WHAT MY BODY REFLECTS?
WHEN CAN I STOP ACTING LIKE I DON’T NOTICE,
OR CARE, STAND UP AND BREAK THEIR NECKS?
TO BE TRULY DONE WITH PUTTING UP WITH ****
IS TO **** THE GARBAGE FROM THE GARDEN,
LEARN TO LOVE ONESELF AND BECOME WHOLE AGAIN.
Jan 20, 2015
Jan 20, 2015 at 1:50 AM UTC
I scrubbed my gums
until they bled,
still I wondered why
my sink was red.
Dec 15, 2014
Dec 15, 2014 at 4:51 PM UTC
"I love you so much"
is scrawled in the dust of my TV.
Every time I roll over and see the
motivation, my lip curves-
I feel you in what was a tent, now a house,
constructed in me.
A full house to clean,
I can't even keep the dust off my TV.
Your lips press onto me
and I swear I can feel every
glass window shatter in rooms of my knees.
I'd pick up the glass with my bare hands
just so you
could see the daylight through the pieces
in the morning.
Sometimes I let the storms tear down my walls,
allow visitors to leave the stove on a little too long-
and I push myself to the weeping willow to vanish.
You notice the lights are off and I am thrown in the wagon,
pulled back home to safety.
I don't mean to be so selfish,
thinking that I matter out there when graced
under the vines of Mother nature.
You are my comfort zone,
my bed on a sick day,
and I love you more than any of these words.
Nov 24, 2014
Nov 24, 2014 at 11:19 PM UTC
All choked up like I've got a speech to make,
every nerve in my body is burning
under the flames of what my mind has to say.
My whole being tenses up,
fear tightens around my rib cage
and asks me if I'll give in to the disease today.
I'll probably sneak away to solitude,
I'll probably try to drown in whatever poison I can find,
I'll probably consider giving everything
to the whistle under my window.
Nov 16, 2014
Nov 16, 2014 at 7:18 PM UTC
Time
is just a concept,
everyone says.
Time can be a medicine,
stitch up what hurts.
But time is
not
guaranteed -
and
too fast paced
for me.
Nov 11, 2014
Nov 11, 2014 at 8:45 PM UTC