I honestly hate myself, because I was a fool
24 hours, not even one day at school
I know for a fact my heart won't heal from this
I wore my heart on my sleeve for you, but now i'm sleeveless
How can a few words crush someone's happiness
**** if I got hurt bad, then I feel bad for Thaddeus
Love does blind the weak
and once again i'm wiping my own cheeks
How could you do that to someone
You wanted me, then you don't all of a sudden
I really did love you, I tried to show it when I wasn't there
Every night I talked to god, hoping you would come back through prayer
You did, then you left once again
and now as much I don't want to...I still call you a friend
This hurts to much God..
Aug 9, 2011
Aug 9, 2011 at 7:32 AM UTC
Allot of lies and allot of untold secrets
I don't wanna be your friend so go and ask Jesus
because now showing love is a sign of weakness
when confronted you got allot to say but that's needless
I mute out bullshyt so like Ms.Keller i'm just looking and speechless
Please...real nigz couldn't be fake and fake nigz couldn't be real
because in the end you reveal your friends ego ideal and its to be you
so you now they're thinking its surreal
you whisper lies when i'm not in the presence
so unless you reading off info don't say George Ellison in not one sentence
you prolly would think I would respond with vengeance
cause my deference is something you lack in your preference
so all you can do is hate my essence....your style of lies are nonsense
preach what you speak don't lie to yourself
I guess you got allot to prove since you have no rewards on your shelf
so me myself I never hold my breathe on a promise
cause my conscious wont let me consume the nonsense
I guess its from the darkness that turned my heart heartless
but to me being heartless is nothing harmless...
so for friends i'm now apparent because I feel better off contentment
because who likes being looked at transparent...Not me..
Aug 1, 2011
Aug 1, 2011 at 7:19 PM UTC
See you make me hate life and refuse to smile at everything!
I hope ya know yo son loved you more than anything!
But now you just another no trusting ***** who lost all of my love!
You say Thomas quit crying but see this is the **** i'm tired of!
As much as I wanna die right now but i'm not thinking so clearly!
I want you to read this **** and understand how severely this is making me weary!
I got NOTHING I hope you understand this *****
just like when you lost everything cause you had that itch!
I ain't talking all this **** out of anger or frustration!
I'm saying it cause you were my motivation someone who knew my problems without me giving an explanation,
I thought today would be a celebration but now I now sit and wonder about my education but honestly it don't mean **** to me if ya not even gonna be at the graduation so I now I yell **** the world and back to isolation!
Jul 18, 2011
Jul 18, 2011 at 7:16 AM UTC
You gave up, can't seem to understand why.
But I hope you know that you lost a really good guy.
Giving something is great, but having it returned to you is horrible.
And love now to me is optional, when it use to be adorable.
Holding on to whatever, is better than knowing she is gone forever.
But now I treasure what we had and hoped that things would have gotten better.
People come and people go, but where are the people that stay next to you when you are feeling low.
When can we got back to the first hello, although they show that they don't even know.
Feelings for another couldn't amount to the feelings for the person you wish it was.
Because you have to say that this is what true love does, even though it now kills your life buzz.
I won't move on, but will try to forget, just hoping I don't stumble across someone with your character set.
It will take time, and long hard days, but you have to know that life puts you threw this phase.
This should be the feelings of a heart attack, but you don't be sad because you asked for your heart back.
I just wished you didn't give me mine frozen, cracked and pitch black...
Jun 28, 2011
Jun 28, 2011 at 10:06 AM UTC
This is for the broken hearted. I know how you feel. Empty, betrayed, and no happiness whatsoever. You don't want to laugh, because you know it's not going to help, but you don't want to cry, because it will just make you feel worse. You feel like your heart is falling apart, but not only that, but you know soon your life is going to feel like it's falling apart too. You don't think it will ever end, and no matter what this person has done to you, it feels impossible to stop loving them. And everyone wonders why if they have hurt you so much, then why do you still love them. That's the confusing part, you don't know why, you just do, and the people who hurt you the most, and normally the ones you love the most. And then, after a few weeks, you finally feel a sense of relief, like you're getting happy again, but you know inside that you're just going into denial. And after a few more weeks, you're back to where you were an empty soul and teary eyes. You thought you got over them, but really, you just stopped showing it. And you can't help but to show it again. It leaves deep scars on your heart that are there forever. And no one understands how you feel, and how deep you are hurt, no matter who they are, because it hasn't happened to them And even if it has, every broken heart is different. They don't know the true pain you feel and carry each and everyday now, so you learn that basically you are alone with all this. And the feeling starts to overwhelm you, and suddenly you just break down, right there, because you know you've had enough, the tears just instantly start flowing, and you're to the point where you don't care who see's. Because you've spent so many nights lying awake in bed, and so many days being haunted by the scars and fear of rejection. And in the midst of all these tears, you know that its not helping any, and it's not going to bring them back, if you ever even had them in the first place. After about a million tears have been cried, you finally pull yourself back together and keep going. Your throat starts to clench and your eyes burn with the tears you are trying to hold back. Everyone says, "It will be okay…” But you know it won't. And that’s the truth, it won’t. And you look back on all of the hurt you had from this, and you realize that people are horrible. You're still hurt, but you've learned to hide it so that everyone thinks you are okay. So now every time you see this person, you know you still love them, and you feel a slight tingle in your heart yearning for them to love you, screaming out, but for some reason they don't hear it. And then you sit back and wonder how one person could have caused all of this...
Jun 24, 2011
Jun 24, 2011 at 6:08 AM UTC
I told myself that I will someday find that girl I could give my heart to,
but every time I did she would return it in pieces.
I cry because of my mistakes in life and the things I have done.
I cry because someone doesn't have time to listen.
But I smile because I have found that person who brings the dimples into my face.
I smile because she has taught me life will stay hard if you never learn to let your guard down.
I smile because she has not only gave me light, but she gave my dark clouded soul light as well.
I smile because if she never had ever said hi I would probably never would truly smile again.
That's why I smile because of you....i truly love you!
May 30, 2011
May 30, 2011 at 5:41 PM UTC
When I am dead my dearest please don't show up to my grave,
knowing that I have lived a life full of misbehave.
Don't cry tears of joy but let them flow tears of hate living life trapped so I'm happy I escaped.
You were the dead tree in the backyard that I punched when I was mad, then I grew up and began to punch dad.
I don't give a **** if you will ever remember me, but I want you to know that I strangled myself with your rosery.
My life was a pit so it was constantly full of darkness,
so all I knew was to be obnoxious and heartless.
I never listened but heard your voice when I cried myself to sleep,
and I never talked to him in the sky because the stranger never speaked.
So I hope you haply remember this when you wake up in cold sweats, because your face I will haply forget, now that I know my soul is haply at rest.
May 25, 2011
May 25, 2011 at 6:46 PM UTC
Why do I cry myself to sleep about thinking of the things you have done to me.
I never asked for you to hand me back my heart in broken pieces but to cherish it to your heart and hold it tight.
I want you to feel loved and cared about and not feeling like I am slowly coming closer to wanting to leave you...because i'm not just takes it awhile for me to gather all my thoughts from all the ***
Its hard for me to fully grasped the emotions I have grown for you because when you do hurt me I just want to be in your presence and I never have a feel for vengeance.
And the thing that takes the smile away from my day is the thought of you abandoning me all alone...so then i'm stuck with no one to talk to cause speaking in your mind gets boring when there is no one to hear a response from.
Heartbroken I felt when I was old enough to think straight and because I knew the people that raised me wasn't my kind and I could tell that by their face.
But shame I never felt but a loss on their part because I don't take heartbreak too easily but you seem to make me want to fix things peacefully and equally.
But I am hurt you can tell I know you can. I see it when you tell me how much you are trying hard to fix things...but its okay because regardless of what ever happens I will still be hurt and still heartbroken.
May 19, 2011
May 19, 2011 at 6:19 PM UTC
I send questions,
but he gives no answers.
I try talking,
but he speaks through actions.
I never fully understood him,
but everyone else did.
I look left instead of looking up,
and everyone looks down upon me.
I came from her,
but where did he actually come from.
If seeing is believing,
then where is my proof.
May 15, 2011
May 15, 2011 at 5:16 PM UTC
I guess I have changed lately I don't feel I am the same me
I push away my family my friends and the love of my life
I guess I cant have the things the way I want and thats apart of life
But I still get up do the the same thing at the same time is this really what I want
I stress the little things in life when I should be praising them and smiling
But I guess it seems to me I have ran out of hope for myself so I am just floating lonely daily just trying to find my spot but keep traveling with no intentions on stopping
I can try to get back what was once mines but it seems she is to gone in her world so why try anymore
but you know what........well do you?..because I do not....
Mar 17, 2011
Mar 17, 2011 at 10:39 PM UTC