they say i have stars in my eyes and theyre right
bury me in stardust and set me out to sea
there are thousands of galaxies under my skin
tell me that ill be okay
if home is where the heart is i might never find my heart, its floating somewhere far beyond my reach
rip out my veins and replace them with wires, i want to make use of the hole in my chest
space! space! space!
i will never truly be calm
the tower to heaven never worked out; i hope for better luck when i start the tower to my home
am i being punished?
how long until my wings are healed? promise that youll watch over me
promise youll show me the way home
"youre glowing" you say
the stars always shine brightest for you
when stars die they explode into bright, firey light
and i think, what a way to go
May 25, 2015
May 25, 2015 at 5:21 PM UTC
The world is in full color, the sky still sporting tones of pink as it grows dark
every word spoken is like a tiny love note to me, i wonder if im too sentimental
ive got galaxies in my heart and im afraid of all the stars burning out too fast (talk about heartburn,,,,,,, hah)
maybe one day we'll all go to space together
what do diamonds shine like on the surface of the moon?
11 pm, watching the cars go by
ive never been a fan of light pink until i realized it felt like home
love feels like pastel colors, like the comforting presence of the moon in the night sky, the calm quietness of underwater
is it possible to die from cheesiness?
im worried i might start throwing up glitter (even though that would look pretty cool)
everything feels lighter and softer than usual
it almost feels as if im surrounded by bubbles
youre like crystals, beautiful and perfect no matter what shape or form
and im floating on air
im going to cry? but in a good way
everything feels like pastel colors and sparkles and so much sugary-sweetness its almost TOO much but not quite
filed under: "Love Aesthetic (tm)"
im going to literally scream and explode into rainbow confetti
im so gay
Apr 28, 2015
Apr 28, 2015 at 11:25 AM UTC
there are bones between my teeth
moonlight glimmering in my eyes
dried blood in my nails, in my hair
my head pounding (thump. thump. thump.)
you know they say blood is thicker than water but that just means blood is more likely to stick in my throat
coughing up family ties one by one
glistening red memories, leaving only a metallic aftertaste
sick nightmare fantasy of ripping open bodies
im the monster in your fairytale stories
lets do a bit of editing, perhaps?
lets shred the whole **** book, perhaps?
lets set fire to the town, perhaps?
im tired of pretending to be your precious child, perfect student, "the innocent one"
i want to paint obscene material in your blood (in the name of art, of course)
@god do you ever feel unreal? are you even real? am i?
no i have to be real, I can feel the blood dripping down my arm, the bones cracking in my spine
im real. im real. im real.
everything hurts!!!!! fuCK i cant wait to rip you all to shreds !!!!!!
T H I S I S N O T A D R E A M
walking on eggshells is far more difficult with digitigrade legs, im not gonna try to be nice anymore
i dont need to be nice anymore
why be nice when you can **** why just **** when you can slaughter?
nobody can stop me from lighting up the post office,
nobody can stop me from gouging out your eyes
im no god but im closer than you
im no angel but you might be soon
close your blinds, lock your doors
big bad wolf is back again
bigger, badder, better wolf
greater, darker, madder wolf
teeth like knives and claws like daggers
six golden eyes staring into your soul
oh right, thats me!
i m i n y o u r h o m e
Apr 20, 2015
Apr 20, 2015 at 12:10 AM UTC
my stomach's twisting and i'm shaking
what do i say? god what if they think i don't want to talk what if they think i don't like them i need to say something
no nonono that was terrible why did i say that they probably think i'm so desperate for attention i have to bring up pointless ****
i want to be noticed
no no i don't i want to go home
should i send it did i word this right? what if they think i'm weird like it's such a sudden thing
i'm perfect i love myself
wait no what if people think i'm self absorbed i can't say that i'm trash
no that's not right either
they should talk more about themselves i'm talking too much about myself
**** **** fu ck
no that came out wrong
"hahahaaaaa i can't talk today i'm mixing up my words,,,,,,"
i can't breathe there's people everywhere they're crowd ign around me im suffoxuating hle p
Feb 19, 2015
Feb 19, 2015 at 9:36 PM UTC
******* hell
there's sore spots all over my body
scabs forming over torn flesh
i scratched until i was bleeding and then kept scratching
i just want them to go away, god why are there so many bumps
i'm trying some self surgery here let me know how it turns out
actually, don't
please don't talk to me about my skin don't mention the dried blood on my shoulder please don't say anything about how i'm going to cause scars
i'd rather have scars than bumps because the scars are mine i made them and if i can't perfect my skin then i'm going to claim it
(that doesn't mean i'll let anyone see them though, it's still ruined it's been ruined from the beginning)
i don't know what you see in me (or what you say you see in me. i still find myself doubting)
i'm too lumpy and bumpy and chubby and there's acne in all the wrong places and blood under my nails
i feel like i'm wearing an old jacket but the jacket is my skin and i need to find something better under this
god i'm going to peel all my ******* skin off
if i lick my lips they still taste like blood from tearing the skin off of them with my teeth
(teeth aren't bumpy. i like my teeth.)
my teeth are sharp enough i just need to stop feeling, if i stopped noticing the pain i could tear it all off god i'm gonna tear it all off
i don't wear tshirts anymore i don't want you to see my arms i don't want anyone to see my skin i don't want to see my skin
make it go away i don't want it anymore i just want to feel nice why is this this so hard
you'd think i'd be able to stop when i make it worse than it was and when i'm hiding all my failures under long sleeves, long pants, hands
no, no i need to scratch until it's gone it's going to stop i need it to stop but god the pain is killing me (but so is having this skin)
digging out part of your leg hurts like hell, who knew?
i'm going to claw myself out of this skin prison or die trying
i'm going to get out i need to get out let me out **** someone help let me out i'm buried in flesh i'm suffocating in my own skin
hello 911 come quick i need you to cut off my skin I feel like i'm drowning i can't breathe god i can't breathe get it off of me
i've scratched my scabs open again and there's blood trickling down my arm and i'm squeezing it out
Dec 11, 2014
Dec 11, 2014 at 12:29 AM UTC
cons:
do you know how often i have to shave?
**** man i just want clean armpits
and then i turn into a giant dog every month and that hair grows back really ******* fast
i need to invest in one of those lint rollers for shedded animal fur because it is becoming a problem
also i'm pretty sure i chewed another pair of shoes up the other night i need to find a safer spot to put my shoes
shoes are ******* expensive to be constantly replacing i can't ******* do this
not to mention the need for meat okay meat is expensive unless you buy tons of cheap stuff and there is no way i'm eating something that tastes like a greasy foot
(looking at you, cheap sausage patties)
pros:
i've got self-defense pretty much covered now
i'm prepared to **** people up if i need to
and i'm pretty warm like all the time now so i don't have to spend as much on heating
(though at the same time there's the air conditioning in the summer,,,)
also i get to tell all my friends I'm a gay werewolf so i'm basically the coolest
Dec 6, 2014
Dec 6, 2014 at 10:27 PM UTC
there's blood drying under my nails and i can still taste the blood in my mouth
i keep scratching and clawing at myself
a self-induced appearance of leprosy without the actual disease
i'm biting my lips, my mouth, my nails
there are strips and chunks of my own flesh sticking in my throat
i guess you could say it's a bit ironic that i'm choking on myself, that i'm slowly turning myself inside out
maybe if i just scratch harder, scrape faster
(scratch and sniff but with flesh and blood)
god i need to see open wounds I need to open every single bump in my skin
i yank out my hair and eat the skin off my fingertips but it's ok i don't need it
i claw open the side of my face and i don't need it, i don't need any of it
i need to smell blood, to touch it, taste it
i tripped and scraped my knee open and let me tell you i savored that moment
i hate getting hurt but i love the aftermath
sore throbbing fingers and blood in my mouth that's what i live for
jesus bled from every pore and i envy him
i'm a monster but the only one i'm killing is myself so it doesn't really matter
i don't really matter
maybe if i scratch enough i'll dig a better person out of this skin and maybe they won't smell like death
maybe they will be whole and maybe they'll be able to stand it
one, two, three new scabs on my shoulders, my neck, my face
one, two, three scars on my arms, my legs, my back
i'm no vampire but i still need blood on my hands and it's sure as hell not innocent blood because it's mine
one of these days i'm going to fall apart and i mean that literally
gnawing on my own bones will take it's toll i'm going to collapse in a pile of my own organs and i'm going to enjoy it
it will smell like blood
Nov 21, 2014
Nov 21, 2014 at 4:31 PM UTC
it's 10 o'clock and I'm crying again
because when you say you love me I can never fully trust you
I'm too sensitive, too defensive to fall for it again
jesus christ, I'm a mess
(fragile)
I'm just a shattered glass
there are too many pieces to bother putting back together (the box said handle with care but no one really listens, do they?)
and it feels selfish to think about my problems
my hell is a ******* amusement park, it's not real suffering, not to anyone else
but I guess I never told you how afraid I was of the ferris wheel
how I always felt like I would be left on top and forgotten
and now here I am, bottom of the box
I broke their fall and broke myself in the process
but I wasn't that special anyway
I wasn't strong glass, I wasn't made to survive
I was made to look pretty and die, and I at least accomplished one of those
I'm just sorry you invested (wasted) so much in me
so much for one broken glass
Sep 21, 2014
Sep 21, 2014 at 9:33 PM UTC
crest brand 3D WHITE
GLAMOROUS WHITE, FRESH MINT TASTE
SAFELY WHITENS TEETH
Sep 17, 2014
Sep 17, 2014 at 3:25 PM UTC
thunderstorms are a paradox to me
bringing feelings of calm and fear and allure all at once
the soft pitter-patter of raindrops
(drip drop drip drop)
and the burst of lightning like a camera flash from above
combined with the misty dark gray sky
an entrancing light that stays for just a second
a desire to run in the rain and stomp in puddles
(mom always said no and I always said yes)
but also to curl up with a book for the night
and the thunder, a foreboding boom
a low rumble like a growl from a carnivore, ready to claim it's prey
(it's time. The end is now)
a dark grim feeling with every roll of thunder
and when it's over the air has chilled
and everything seems cleaner
(and more wet)
and a rainbow is there to help sort out the feelings, toss out the fear and darkness of the thunder and leaves only
gay
Sep 6, 2014
Sep 6, 2014 at 7:22 PM UTC