freakshow - Hello Poetry

my hands are confined in a loose bracelet like tape, supressing my hands and my feet together my mind is in it's own finger trap, each cord struggling to get out The only person that turned the keys was right here in front of me all along. The mirror was stained with a dark blue shade, the shade of which you would put into the light to see it was navy dark blue or just plain black. All I ever wanted was to be held, to have someone wipe away my tears and say that it is all okay. Except I already had that. I held myself back from being able to as much as look at myself in the mirror without shattering myself, I wiped away my own tears before I walked out of my room for the first time since I got home from school hours ago, I say it is okay everyday when he says sorry for the millionth time. The mirror isn't a mirror anymore, it's just a window into hell.

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Mar 28, 2019

Mar 28, 2019 at 1:19 PM UTC

Mirror

my hands are confined in a loose bracelet like tape, supressing my hands and my feet together my mind is in it's own finger trap, each cord struggling to get out The only person that turned the keys was right here in front of me all along. The mirror was stained with a dark blue shade, the shade of which you would put into the light to see it was navy dark blue or just plain black. All I ever wanted was to be held, to have someone wipe away my tears and say that it is all okay. Except I already had that. I held myself back from being able to as much as look at myself in the mirror without shattering myself, I wiped away my own tears before I walked out of my room for the first time since I got home from school hours ago, I say it is okay everyday when he says sorry for the millionth time. The mirror isn't a mirror anymore, it's just a window into hell.

7

I was born in the past and now I am molded by it I am a loner with no rest A rest with no sound A sound with no depth of which will be put into an orchestra Only to be overheard as the deep melodies play out into the air And make the song play against the sky where we would pest the tide

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Nov 14, 2018

Nov 14, 2018 at 2:32 PM UTC

Underheard

I was born in the past and now I am molded by it I am a loner with no rest A rest with no sound A sound with no depth of which will be put into an orchestra Only to be overheard as the deep melodies play out into the air And make the song play against the sky where we would pest the tide

6

I looked up into the sky, only to realize how my head was just so high High into the starlit night as I continued to lie to give myself a smile That took such a long while to make I keep wondering how the differences would be made between us Whether it would be you to make the change Or whether it would be I to make the first wave I keep wondering when it’ll happen Whether it will be today at 10 Or on Monday at 7 Would we actually talk this year Or would we continue to lay our heads down in a puddle of fear Not letting each other grow and change our ways Ways that made us waste our day Just to spend them crying into a river As the cold wind would give us a shiver down our spines I looked up into the sky, only to realize it is a dream A dream of us being a team for each other and sharing our weeps Making us feel less alone and make each other see How we are meant to be

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Sep 28, 2018

Sep 28, 2018 at 10:17 AM UTC

A dream

I looked up into the sky, only to realize how my head was just so high High into the starlit night as I continued to lie to give myself a smile That took such a long while to make I keep wondering how the differences would be made between us Whether it would be you to make the change Or whether it would be I to make the first wave I keep wondering when it’ll happen Whether it will be today at 10 Or on Monday at 7 Would we actually talk this year Or would we continue to lay our heads down in a puddle of fear Not letting each other grow and change our ways Ways that made us waste our day Just to spend them crying into a river As the cold wind would give us a shiver down our spines I looked up into the sky, only to realize it is a dream A dream of us being a team for each other and sharing our weeps Making us feel less alone and make each other see How we are meant to be

19

My nose is runny God knows which illness it’s from My head is hurting I don’t know how it’s still on I am still aching After all the breaking that was done I am still burning Oh how the table’s turning No one had a part in this self rightous suicide Everyone was afraid of what would be my homicide It isn’t okay to do It is terrible if you continue to refuse to conform You can’t make yourself happy Just calm down and let us make the rules My nose is runny God knows which illness it’s from My death is coming It sure knows how to haunt I am still lying That I am alright I am still crying That they already got a bite Now I am running God knows where I am really from My end is coming Who Knows if it’s the real one? I am still dying But I know how to hide From the ones who are in control Who make everything so dull

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Sep 5, 2018

Sep 5, 2018 at 12:48 PM UTC

My Runny Nose

My nose is runny God knows which illness it’s from My head is hurting I don’t know how it’s still on I am still aching After all the breaking that was done I am still burning Oh how the table’s turning No one had a part in this self rightous suicide Everyone was afraid of what would be my homicide It isn’t okay to do It is terrible if you continue to refuse to conform You can’t make yourself happy Just calm down and let us make the rules My nose is runny God knows which illness it’s from My death is coming It sure knows how to haunt I am still lying That I am alright I am still crying That they already got a bite Now I am running God knows where I am really from My end is coming Who Knows if it’s the real one? I am still dying But I know how to hide From the ones who are in control Who make everything so dull

30

I know how much you hate I know how much you want to say That I stopped loving you and we could go back to the same Sometimes I would wonder what would happen if we stayed up to date up to date with each other and not abandoning one another I wonder what would happen if we stopped with the stares If we were able to just be next to each other without a tear slipping down instead of just pass each other on the way I want to know if it really matters to you The same way it does to me To me it is my big case To you it seems like you lost your space I am sorry for the annoyance I made I hope that it was the confidence that I gave to make up for the history we have shared that made it too much to bare Sometimes I wonder what would happen if we gave each other a chance A chance to be able to dance to the tune of our hearts Instead of always breaking each other apart to edges of these shards Sometimes I wonder what would happen if we gave each other a glance A glance to see what is going on Instead of always being in the dark of what's being torn apart Sometimes I wonder what would happen if we helped each other and built what we have been working on the building of love and the destruction of sorrow But instead, we are now just so hollow

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Sep 1, 2018

Sep 1, 2018 at 1:37 PM UTC

Self Sabotaging Ourselves

I know how much you hate I know how much you want to say That I stopped loving you and we could go back to the same Sometimes I would wonder what would happen if we stayed up to date up to date with each other and not abandoning one another I wonder what would happen if we stopped with the stares If we were able to just be next to each other without a tear slipping down instead of just pass each other on the way I want to know if it really matters to you The same way it does to me To me it is my big case To you it seems like you lost your space I am sorry for the annoyance I made I hope that it was the confidence that I gave to make up for the history we have shared that made it too much to bare Sometimes I wonder what would happen if we gave each other a chance A chance to be able to dance to the tune of our hearts Instead of always breaking each other apart to edges of these shards Sometimes I wonder what would happen if we gave each other a glance A glance to see what is going on Instead of always being in the dark of what's being torn apart Sometimes I wonder what would happen if we helped each other and built what we have been working on the building of love and the destruction of sorrow But instead, we are now just so hollow

27

Love and happiness in the air, what blew in the wind was my hair. When you looked into my eye, you wouldn't think this was what was I. I was opened up, I didn't know enough. I was someone who I loved, I felt even more tough. It was four years, after that there were so many more tears. I thought I was unbreakable, but life hit and made the pain unbearable. Before this, I had no scars. In the future, no doubt will home be at bars. Because now, my heart aches, as I know there'll be nothing left to take.

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Aug 31, 2018

Aug 31, 2018 at 7:18 PM UTC

my 4 years

Love and happiness in the air, what blew in the wind was my hair. When you looked into my eye, you wouldn't think this was what was I. I was opened up, I didn't know enough. I was someone who I loved, I felt even more tough. It was four years, after that there were so many more tears. I thought I was unbreakable, but life hit and made the pain unbearable. Before this, I had no scars. In the future, no doubt will home be at bars. Because now, my heart aches, as I know there'll be nothing left to take.

16