never sleeping
never calm
stress and uncertainty bubble underneath my skin
reflecting on every word you've said
where are you now
are you okay
are you alive, even
i'm just so worried about you
you've all i've ever cared about
all i've ever cherished
i've never loved anyone as much as you
and now
you've just
disappeared
no notes
not anything
at times i tell myself i'm just being paranoid
she'll show up out of nowhere
and we'll laugh
and laugh
and laugh
and maybe that's true
but i sincerely doubt it
you're gone
and i will cross mountains
sail seas
go across deserts
just to find you
i will never stop trying
even if it costs me my life
i will find you, my love
but until then
i'll just be writing poems to you
kinda futile, isn't it
writing poems to a person who might not even be alive anymore,
just with a sliver of hope
that they might find it
even though it's impossible
it's completely useless
but that's all i ever was in the first place, i suppose
never sleeping
never calm
Jun 18, 2018
Jun 18, 2018 at 7:03 PM UTC
i'm gonna need some guys
not these guys
because
well
they're kind of dead.
Jun 16, 2018
Jun 16, 2018 at 4:49 PM UTC
do you ever miss the rain?
which one?
that one.
yeah i do.
the simple feelings of safety
the smell of the rain
the similarity of home
where you didnt care about technicality
or psychology
when nobody cared about each other but felt home
do you miss the old screen?
you mean the OS?
no the screen
where it was simple but complex
the feeling of the rain mixed
feeling of friends
not that feeling
the other feeling
the similarity of the old layout
not old the better one
yeah the better one
where it seemed as if you knew it for so long
but you didn't
when everyone was innocent
no sketches
playing at home with no pressure
with a head that stops when you stop
the feeling of feeling as if the adults know everything out there
where you felt as if being sad was just a myth
miss the old room?
which one?
the magical one
where your imagination ruled the emptiness
now filled with a head that is technical as it can be
why?
because maturing
looking at the abyss called reality
where everybody is a child
being an adult is just a myth
everybody feels alone, feels selfish, trying to wisen up
they can’t
because you just can't
wise people aren't wise
they aren't adults
they are just children
acting like adults
people want to get on top
why?
because
why?
why not?
everybody looks up to you
everybody obeys to your rules
they aren't forced to or obliged to
they just do
why?
because they are searching for an example of an adult
they search for a person to look up to that no one can look down on you for
but when you are the person on top
you still feel alone
you don't feel complete
you feel like a child
but then you look for another person to look up to
there are no other
so the cycle continues
everybody stomping on each other
we are on top of a flying rock and everyone is focused on looking down upon people with different imaginary views
why?
why not just have fun?
do you ever miss the rain?
which one?
May 31, 2018
May 31, 2018 at 8:57 PM UTC