Extinguished beneath the pressure of stifling darkness;
the blackness a behemoth caressing me with oil slick fingers.
Bound with shackles of my own forging,
chained to the dank confinement of shame with iron bracelets made up of every hurt I felt, each sting I’d inflicted.
Comforted by the weight of my own disease, dragging me down deeper into the depths of myself;
swarmed by demons cutting slices of me for their devouring.
Blistered fingers claw at the dirt, broken nails taking insignificant strongholds in the battle.
New shackles being forced into place where old ones were severed, cutting new wounds where old ones were healed.
Then, a searing light burns through the airless tomb where I lay,
my sweat still glistening in the after hours of my latest debasement.
Eyes burning, unaccustomed to the phosphorescent glow after years of stapling them shut to the vision of horror I became.
A new tsunami of dishonour throws me back, twisting my shackles tighter around bound limbs.
Now I am free and live to feel the sun on my skin, no longer translucent and sallow.
Each sound and sensation sending ripples of pleasure through my soul, but still
I limp, and my wrists are scarred.
Aug 13, 2021
Aug 13, 2021 at 4:50 PM UTC
There’s
always one. A
solitary tear that I can't
hold back. One for each day,
That rolls down onto my pillow.
I worry, that if one more were
to fall, I would never be able
to stop the torrent that
would come after.
Jun 4, 2021
Jun 4, 2021 at 6:12 PM UTC
I look for you in the sun rise,
Your face in cloud formation.
I feel your kiss as the light crests,
Your soul shining on the horizon.
Yet the sun does not warm my skin,
The way your breath warms my face;
You holding my head in your hands,
As we lock in our embrace.
Feb 21, 2021
Feb 21, 2021 at 5:37 AM UTC
she was as the smell of smoke,
clinging to my fingertips.
a linger of reckless abandon.
she was always the first ****
burning my throat as i inhale.
fingertips, trailing constellations,
sweat glistening as the smoke coils.
i need fresh air.
but my lungs are black,
and i cannot breathe unaided.
Feb 7, 2021
Feb 7, 2021 at 8:02 AM UTC
I want to be loved like the sea,
When I'm a tropical blue, and respected
For my tumultuous depths.
Love me like the sea.
Come, bathe in me when I am warm and
Gaze down into me when I am crystal.
Love me still when I am murky.
Come, find beauty in my roaring waves and
Keep your bow forward when I am stormy.
Love me like the sea.
Watch, see how I can kiss the shore or
See how I can beat my fist against it.
Yes, I want to be loved like the sea.
For the sun shines on my surface,
Yet darkness lurks within.
Feb 7, 2021
Feb 7, 2021 at 7:56 AM UTC
It started with a kiss.
A burn of acid across my cheek,
It's poisoned implication:
"Here, this is the woman you seek."
It followed with thirty pieces,
The weight cumbrous in hand.
Your wine and bread so exquisite,
Suddenly fell flat, turned to sand.
It climaxed with Damascus,
Truth a blinding light across my eyes.
I'd betrayed all I am for silver,
Cheered as you shaped my demise.
It ended with a field of blood.
My innards spilled onto the ground,
Blooded hands foraging:
"I was lost but now I'm found."
Jan 17, 2021
Jan 17, 2021 at 3:59 PM UTC
I’m trying to hold onto you,
Like rain in my hands.
But you slip, through the spaces between my fingers,
And the deluge is so heavy, and you sting my skin.
I cannot see through the rain in my eyes,
And my bones chatter with the chill,
But still I hold out my palms -
I try to fill them
I am so thirsty
I mustn’t spill
A single
Drop.
Dec 12, 2020
Dec 12, 2020 at 9:22 AM UTC
crashing waves, a siren call
though i don't need it, not at all
i come to you, my black abyss
pull me under, as i dehisce
i won't see you mourn for me
as i become the salt of the sea
Aug 28, 2020
Aug 28, 2020 at 3:47 PM UTC
A fire can roar and annihilate,
It flickers and fades into embers
Sometimes a fire needs to go out.
A fire can purge and cleanse,
It cauterises and sears into new life
Sometimes a fire needs to ignite.
Aug 28, 2020
Aug 28, 2020 at 3:27 PM UTC
I do not know how she lived,
Nor how she came to die.
Was she fair, or strong as iron
I cannot say but I
Stand above her, pondering her history.
Caroline. Buried lovingly,
Under tombstone of ivory
Now here she lay, to rest a day
Covered in tangled ivy.
The land taking claim of the cemetery.
Jul 5, 2020
Jul 5, 2020 at 5:18 PM UTC