Spring where the F are you
How can I work on my allotment when you tease us with rain and snow
The beast that comes and undoes and freezes
Stopping new growth in its foot steps
Making ground cold and hard
Outhouses burst pipes like a fountain held in suspended animation
And only to a robins delite
Winter a cruel mistress who just won’t quit
I yearn for my new love ! For the warmth of sun on my skin
For roses to bloom
And birds to sing
Spring
..... hurry the F up already
(C) Ashley Kane FB
Apr 11, 2018
Apr 11, 2018 at 7:20 AM UTC
Don’t Forget ....
To hold hands
To laugh at each other
To share secrets
Cuddle up on the sofa
Consider each other
Kiss each other
Dance to music with each other in your lounge like no one is watching
To share silly antitdotes
Share fears share dreams
And
Of
Course
LOVE
(C) Ashley Kane FB
Apr 3, 2018
Apr 3, 2018 at 7:58 PM UTC
I Wish I could love myself
Or
See my own beauty that others apparently see
I wish I could feel my body’s worth and potential
I wish I could live to be the best me
To fill myself with nutrition and goodness
To have wild ambition and love free
To fight for my dreams and feel full and high on life
Why can’t I do this for me ?
Why do I poison myself with sugar and gin
Why don’t I get up and move
Almost brain dead, catatonic
old and to broken
Just a big disappointment to me
My own expectations have fallen and gone
My self respect doesn’t exist
I exhaust from self reproaching jokes and I don’t expect anything of me
(C) Ashley Kane Fb
Apr 3, 2018
Apr 3, 2018 at 7:53 PM UTC
Put a gun to my head and bang shoot me dead
Would you run through the door as I’m bleeding on the floor ?
Or would you stay and cry as my blood begins to dry?
Would you face the knot for the one you shot
Could u atone for your sins for the love that had been?
Will a smile be on your face
As they put me in my case ?
When your done with me who will you torture next ?
Put a gun to my head and bang shoot me dead
(C) Ashley Kane FB
Mar 31, 2018
Mar 31, 2018 at 10:12 AM UTC
Please don’t pity my situation
I’m frozen in situ
Don’t smile and **** your head
Don’t say awww or that’s a shame
Don’t pat my hand and assume it will happen
Don’t tell me I’m missing out
Don’t tell me I’ll never understand until it happens to me
Don’t assume your life is more fulfilled then mine
Don’t pretend it makes you more mature then me
Don’t make me a faux Aunty to another friends fruit
Don’t joke about lending or sitting like it’s the same
Don’t imagine Yours could ever be a substitute for mine
That they could replace the ache in my heart or fill it with what it’s missing - even worse be greatful for the privilege
Don’t act like it’s a grand gester like your giving my life meaning
When things are awful and bad don’t tell me you stay for them and use them as an excuse to not walk away
Don’t tell me if I had I’d under stand
Don’t make me feel incomplete because I haven’t - I’m already feeling it
Don’t call me lucky because I sleep in
Don’t say “nice for some” when I go out it isn’t my choice
Don’t assume this is about freedom
Don’t pretend it will happen one day
Don’t put your false hopes onto me
Don’t assume he will leave me if I don’t deliver - we’re much more then potentials Ps
Don’t assume it’s because of the weight
Don’t give me a gimmick or tips
Don’t tell me your storys
Don’t talk about it or predict about it
Dont tell me about feelings in your waters
Don’t treat me like this is my only purpose
Dont think I get hurt because you grow and blossom in a way I can’t
Don’t assume I’m bitter and resentful
Don’t pretend I can’t be happy for you
Dont treat me like I’m broken like my whole exsistence revolves around a broken womb
.......I’m so much more
.......I’ve seen so much more, felt so much more, grown and lost
.......I live so much more and want so much more
.......I have more plans and options then you can imagine
My back up plan is full of love and life still!!
(C) Ashley Kane FB
Mar 31, 2018
Mar 31, 2018 at 9:56 AM UTC
It’s like a thick
comfort blanket that coats me and tells me it’s all going to be ok
-your smile
It’s reassurance and love, a friend a rock
-your smile
It understands me, and guides me. It stands against the world with me
-your smile
It’s what I work for , look forward to and crave
-your smile
It fills me with deep joy and a happy heart that beats for us
-your smile
(C) Ashley Kane
Mar 25, 2018
Mar 25, 2018 at 8:24 AM UTC
So tired so very very tired.
My torn shredded body is weakened by the day,
By labours unappreciated
Kindnesses unseen ,
Jokes and smiles forced upon a face starting to crack with time and dull with age.
Bones ache and scrape
And hands become to tremor
Eyes start to fail and mind is even slowing .
I count down hours till I can relax with you.
Our collaborative aim to labour in vain to save
So that we may have some enjoyable kind of life
A shared life for soul mates
But this rat race is cruel and working is never quite enough
And despite good intentions
And despite wants and wishes
Dreams of adventures
We are drained from life
And so we sleep
(c) Ashley Kane
Mar 18, 2018
Mar 18, 2018 at 6:38 PM UTC
Speak
Let me hear your thoughts
Shout
So loud I can feel your heart
Scream
So silent I’m drowned in your soul
Touch
So soft it will melt me to tears
(C) Ashley Kane
Mar 15, 2018
Mar 15, 2018 at 1:13 PM UTC
“A supposedly Amusing ode”
I lay here staring can it be?
A midlife crisis come for me?
But no it’s not true oh it taunts me
After all I’m not yet fourty
But oh I’ve lived a life so carefree
No morgage payments await for me
No insurence upon my life
Not even a pension
I’m nobodies wife
I’ve born no child it’s not yet for me
It’s all lie ins takeaway and adult TV
I can go out when I please
I have savings never
Sometimes I drink to much but I don’t feel clever
But wait .... oh no maybe that’s not it .... maybe that’s not what’s the cause of this itch
Maybe now I’m realising I’ve had it all wrong
I bought the wrong book I’ve sung the wrong song
No rock and band sit upon this hand
I’m not sure why I don’t understand
Why have these ***** produced no fruit
Why does my maternal instinct feel so mute
I do not own these rocks and mortar
This cat here is my only daughter
My other half as bad as me
He just likes to snore and watch TV
Oh **** oh no it’s all to late
To fix my life get it straight
I must get married
I must produce life
Quick mark wake up and make me your wife
Hmmmm but that’s actually all quite expensive
And we are really not that tentive
To the young of age who make such a mess
The school run sounds like a lot f stress
And a morgage surely ties you down
What if I don’t like that side of town
Or county
Or country and want to live a life
Full of travel freedom and vice ?
Yes I’m sure it’s all ok
in our rut I think we’ll stay
With our own jokes and inside gags
Phew what a relief I can breath with no strife
And relax a little into mid life :)
(C) Ashley Kane
Mar 15, 2018
Mar 15, 2018 at 11:02 AM UTC
Alone
And yet I’m not
Cold
And yet I’m held
Empty
And yet I have love poured on me
Dark
But light shines on me
Closed
With so many doors I could open
Turned
When I have so many to face
Unsexed
But not devoid of lust
Unbroken
But not functioning
Silent
But bursting with words
Hollow
But still filled with flesh
(C) Ashley Kane FB
Mar 13, 2018
Mar 13, 2018 at 8:13 PM UTC