this choke to make you feel
light-headed
the half-naked girl standing in front of me
i smiled
the lips, awaiting one unfortunate
gripping of tongue
this december fueled by hindrances
in a week we might call
a year
i know
i know why you color your hair
half-red
its fires sweep what's left
of the suffocating oxygen
as if stuck between the walls
of two houses
i know
i know that everytime you undress
its meant to entice an embrace
that will clothe the skin permanently
no more drunk messages in the wee hours of the morning
to wake up nightmares our optimistic eye would see
as a redemtption in waiting
the alcohol bottles you sleep with (you need to put yourself to sleep with) quietly put to the side
you can rest now
this december needs you
the cold cannot be felt without your heat
Jan 9, 2019
Jan 9, 2019 at 3:39 AM UTC
storm ranges blitzing
the animal crossing
of your skin
while the faint smell of gin
lingers
couched, soft stomach dispensing
each nicotine hit you blaze
the eyes pierce sharp
butterfly leverage and the sword
between your skin
makes me faint
oh, black sweater madness
in this hour of midnight
Jul 25, 2018
Jul 25, 2018 at 1:05 AM UTC
I'm worried that
loneliness
is the only thing
I am fond of
Jul 11, 2018
Jul 11, 2018 at 5:21 AM UTC
We were there
even before the universe fell into place
Star-crossed lovers
Two eventualities collide in the backdrop
of an ever expanding space
Jul 11, 2018
Jul 11, 2018 at 5:20 AM UTC
It's hard to say this but
I'm happy we decided
to let go of each other
Jul 11, 2018
Jul 11, 2018 at 5:20 AM UTC
It was 2 p.m.
and it was raining
Slipped between my
lips is a cigarette
I bought for five pesos
And as I drag the hit
burning the tobacco
inside the white, rolled
paper of slow death
The mist produced by
a collision of raindrops
and hard surfaces
reach parts of my body
Cold, goosebumps prepare me
for a slight shiver
It seems odd
Odd enough that I take another
batch of poison gas
Throwing myself more into
a void or a sanctuary or a
jail cell for the ******
Looking up, the clouds
were a mix of blurry vision
and felt like a dark premonition
Something's about to happen
It wouldn't rain so hard if it didn't
Back then
Back then I remembered an incident
where I journeyed towards home
I kept waiting for my mother or
maybe it was a guardian of old
Move me back to my sheltered existence
No one was there this time
My heart, pulsating both in frustration
and fear kept me from collecting
myself; same with the raging pouring
of the rain, shattering liquid into
tiny droplets
Courage seemed to avoid me until
that moment
Moments putting us into a corner
And all we could do is to cross
the line between restless indecision
and frantic action
I guess it wasn't enough
Releasing the final moments of carbon monoxide
I slip back into the place where my body is
fixed upon
People playing chess, a woman walking in defeat,
men hurrying and scuttling their things
protecting them of the indignation
I walk back inside and I sit as do everybody else in
the room
Divided by a green piece of wood
Encapsulated in their own little bits of happiness
Sometimes, colliding with others
Mostly, alone
Clicking insanely
as we always do
Jul 2, 2018
Jul 2, 2018 at 1:13 AM UTC
in riches or poor
valiant increases of fervor
flow through incandescent lights
waiting to be filled
with something bright or honest
honest as the birds in flight
justified through means of tender care
and unending honesty
Even then i remember
each step my fragile body
stumbles upon
shivers and shuddering winters
between my thighs
oh how you warm them up
like supernova sunshines
carefully placed inside flaccid muscles
waiting to be fulfilled
overwhelmed by faces
concrete buildings
bundled into
unnerving kaleidoscopes of beautiful
spectacles of thought
space; sets of evenly matched colors
flow unto trembling tremors of tactless thought
random, rambling, rancid odors
and in the end
precisely splitting atoms
hydrogen bombs
exploding
imploding
my brain, humbled
my soul, fulfilled
Jul 2, 2018
Jul 2, 2018 at 1:11 AM UTC
you would sometimes pick up the phone
and whisper, "i love you" to me
whenever strange signs you
wish would happen happens
every 1st day of the 1st week of every
month you'd send me sweet loveletters
inside pink envelopes mailing them
a week before since post moves
slow but i wonder how it gets there
exactly when you want it to be
and when you wanted to break up
you got what you asked for
how i cried for hours after dark
and maybe float my head while
in school trying to conjure up
ways to make you mine again
i had the that last chance
dated august 14th
you had practice of your sport
and i see you flying your
ways in your shorts
sweaty with the passions
gritty on demand
a bunch of flowers in my hand
you saw me saw you
and you closed the gap between us
just to rub my hair all wrong again
you walked away
i walked away
i never saw you then
since high school flies
as people move on to places
sometimes forced; others out of open will
i was one of the middle kind
forced to get away from all the bad memories
openly running as far as my feet can bare
but before leaving
i took our old telephone set
and its still with me in my apartment
then id wish for strange signs
like maybe if i see a man in a red shirt
in a red car you'd find a way to call me
and maybe whisper "i love you" again
Jul 2, 2018
Jul 2, 2018 at 1:10 AM UTC
I'm sorry for my hand squeezing your shoulder.
I'm sorry for the crossfire produced by our eyes.
I'm sorry for an advanced lamentation, the hugging of our thighs.
I'm sorry for awkward rides my spinning makes - you revolve around mine.
I'm sorry for starting our days without caffeine or ending the day with shouts.
I'm sorry for tomorrow too, I wouldn't be welcoming goodbyes.
I'm sorry for the cursors pointing northwards, different skies.
Maybe then our apologies could collide.
Jun 18, 2018
Jun 18, 2018 at 11:33 AM UTC
Before, I was a young child
Standing innocently beside
a rusty green gate
that separated my anxieties
from the harsh land
and rough air
I breathe in, slowly,
as if to memorize
the patterns my body makes
Expanding then imploding
A perfect metaphor
for how a mind makes its
own maze and how everyone
of us wants to escape
Stalemate
Continually playing chess
against my own self-consciousness
Nay, my very own Tyler Durden
Sometimes I lose track of time
And all of a sudden things
whisper back to me
Inaudible, I shrug as I lay
stationary in my bed
Looking straight up at the ceiling
Green, white, I do not know
I remember things
Remembering is peculiar
Moments seem like dreams now
I cling to it
And I feel tired
What is my connection then?
To that young child
A picture on the wall
and the face of a man,
grown and ragged due to the
rigors of modern times
Everybody wished they can go back
At least once
I know, I can't speak for everybody
But, truly, deep inside me
A longing for the past
that seems so uncharacteristic of life
Colors, mentioned only in name
Faces, blurry and distorted
Places, forcing us to smile at
happy memories or frown upon them
Yet, I can never connect again
Someone said to me that the potential of
humans are equivalent to
an explosion of a million hydrogen bombs
One for every molecule in our body
How I wish I could explode
Not like a hydrogen bomb
Dynamite will do
Jun 18, 2018
Jun 18, 2018 at 9:54 AM UTC