fellow_wanderer - Hello Poetry

i might be a sinner i might be a saint either way it doesn't matter we all die the same i don't care if i go to hell i'm already in it anyways i'm no longer a kid but i'm not really an adult i'm scared all the time scared i'll never be enough i write about love because its the thing that i crave i write about problems that i don't wanna face i write about what would've happened if you stayed i write about things that i wish i could change i'm searching for meaning but mostly i'm feeling scared about what else time will take

0

Nov 8, 2021

Nov 8, 2021 at 3:14 PM UTC

saint

i might be a sinner i might be a saint either way it doesn't matter we all die the same i don't care if i go to hell i'm already in it anyways i'm no longer a kid but i'm not really an adult i'm scared all the time scared i'll never be enough i write about love because its the thing that i crave i write about problems that i don't wanna face i write about what would've happened if you stayed i write about things that i wish i could change i'm searching for meaning but mostly i'm feeling scared about what else time will take

17

i despise that feeling and yet it's one i know so well now a familiar friend with a cold embrace it's painful, but in a way it gives release i pour out my being at your feet giving you every last part of me from the sour to the bittersweet perhaps i'm far too broken to be loved like the rest to even ask for a love is something too much to ask a hopeless romantic this i cannot deny but with each heartbreak that becomes me that small part of me dies a bitter old woman with no lover to share only weathered photographs along with distant memories is that going to be me? living with the pain of loving you without you loving me tell me just this did i at least make you happy? even just a second? was there any moment you felt complete? did i do to you the same, as you had done to me? if only you were the one for with you there was a moment when home was within your arms and your love met every need but once again alone with that feeling

0

Nov 8, 2021

Nov 8, 2021 at 3:06 PM UTC

that feeling

i despise that feeling and yet it's one i know so well now a familiar friend with a cold embrace it's painful, but in a way it gives release i pour out my being at your feet giving you every last part of me from the sour to the bittersweet perhaps i'm far too broken to be loved like the rest to even ask for a love is something too much to ask a hopeless romantic this i cannot deny but with each heartbreak that becomes me that small part of me dies a bitter old woman with no lover to share only weathered photographs along with distant memories is that going to be me? living with the pain of loving you without you loving me tell me just this did i at least make you happy? even just a second? was there any moment you felt complete? did i do to you the same, as you had done to me? if only you were the one for with you there was a moment when home was within your arms and your love met every need but once again alone with that feeling

33

they met every week, and sang the songs they knew by heart they closed their doors, and shut out the world at least, for an hour or two they knew each other well, considered them friends and even brothers they may not have had anyone else but they always had one another they told each other secrets, but never their own sure, they made mistakes, but they weren't like the others that lead lives of vanity no, they were good they sacrificed pleasure, and even their dreams to appeal to a force more powerful than them and if a brother was going astray, they were quick to snap him back to the right path, or to gently push him outside their doors they were just they always did what was right even if it was hard for they believed in black and white, right and wrong they believed in fair punishment if it meant shutting out their own son they were more than willing to do it they loved each other, they tore each other apart.

0

Nov 8, 2021

Nov 8, 2021 at 2:49 PM UTC

community

they met every week, and sang the songs they knew by heart they closed their doors, and shut out the world at least, for an hour or two they knew each other well, considered them friends and even brothers they may not have had anyone else but they always had one another they told each other secrets, but never their own sure, they made mistakes, but they weren't like the others that lead lives of vanity no, they were good they sacrificed pleasure, and even their dreams to appeal to a force more powerful than them and if a brother was going astray, they were quick to snap him back to the right path, or to gently push him outside their doors they were just they always did what was right even if it was hard for they believed in black and white, right and wrong they believed in fair punishment if it meant shutting out their own son they were more than willing to do it they loved each other, they tore each other apart.

25

everything stands right in front of me. all of my hopes, all of my dreams. all that i hoped is now within reach. this was all i ever wanted. i worked so hard. i got so far. this was all i ever wanted, but it’s still not enough. i should be happy, but i’m not. so i stand back and watch the fruit rot. it's everything and nothing all at once. what has happened, and what’s to come. the ones still here, the ones that are gone. i see them all, all at once. the secrets found out, the ones never told. eventually, they’ll all turn into ghosts. and i’ll join them in their ghoulish parade. then, maybe then, things will be ok. i proved it to myself. i proved it to them all. i got everything i wanted. i got nothing at all. times arrow will move forward and keep marching on. i'll stand back and with my fruit i'll rot. it's everything and nothing all at once.

0

Nov 8, 2021

Nov 8, 2021 at 2:44 PM UTC

everything and nothing all at once

everything stands right in front of me. all of my hopes, all of my dreams. all that i hoped is now within reach. this was all i ever wanted. i worked so hard. i got so far. this was all i ever wanted, but it’s still not enough. i should be happy, but i’m not. so i stand back and watch the fruit rot. it's everything and nothing all at once. what has happened, and what’s to come. the ones still here, the ones that are gone. i see them all, all at once. the secrets found out, the ones never told. eventually, they’ll all turn into ghosts. and i’ll join them in their ghoulish parade. then, maybe then, things will be ok. i proved it to myself. i proved it to them all. i got everything i wanted. i got nothing at all. times arrow will move forward and keep marching on. i'll stand back and with my fruit i'll rot. it's everything and nothing all at once.

26

The images of who I used to be Fluttering, slipping through my very fingers like Fine salt and sand Perhaps they were never mine to begin with Not the images of who i used to be but Images of who I desperately wanted to be Of whom i never was Which begs to ask Who am i then? Will i ever find you? There’s a heavy statement laying on my throat, Stopping my speech but not my incessant thoughts Do i want to find you? You see, I often look in the mirror, looking for the layers underneath, The meaning and beauty often found within, but My fear is, no layers will ever be found, that all there is is The emptiness watching me back with void eyes Do i want to find you? Devoid is what i feel when alone, a sense of not being enough to withstand what is normally withstood, Loneliness has, at times, been my only friend Do i want to find you? I find in my books the people that I want to be, Filled with a passion and pride that I can never seem to find but, They must have something right I find in the eyes of others who i want to be, Those that sparkle with a sort of desire, A true sign of being in love with the present, with life I see this beauty that can’t be found within my own What do they have that i don't? Perhaps it was misplaced? I lost it along the way. Perhaps it was never something i had in the first place Perhaps I am to only find this sparkle within the eyes of others, never my own Perhaps it is selfish to want it for myself Do i want to find you? Alone, But you are with me both of us wish to be somewhere else Alone, Do you want to be found? Or is it better to pretend you don’t exist? Alone, You stare back at me, Defiance, is that what I see? Or perhaps this is your way of mocking me? To dare i think that there’s something deeper under my skin There’s nothing but bone, bone, bone nothing but me, me, me Nothing more The images of who i thought i was A mask i wore well for so long I had even fooled myself into the role The mask is as deep as it gets The truth that i wish to avoid I’ve known you my whole life, but I don’t know you What a poor lover i am indeed Will you, along with the others, also leave? They all leave, eventually There’s no reason to stay Wallow in self pity and The infantile need Stay stay stay stay please If not just for a few more moments Stay with me, please just don't leave me Images of you Images of me Images of those that would’ve stayed If I wasn’t me Flashing Camera roll shots If only I wasn't me Lovers Friends If only I wasn’t me The sparkle in your eyes in mine as well, We glimmer as we speak If only I wasn’t me You lean in and I do too, no rush Knowing there’s a lifetime ahead of us to explore what we desire If only i wasn’t me Your hug being one those that keeps me warm I find myself coming back to see your glimmer If only I wasn’t me I believe you words, your motives You mean it when you say you love me If only I wasn’t me But i know better How can you love what I cannot bear? I won't hold it against you Things would be different If only i wasn't me Images Of the person that I’ll never be Of the people that i love Of the lovers that leaved The love that i could never find for myself Rests within your hands Do with it what you please I’ll be here with the images Alone, With me me me me me me me me me me

0

Apr 16, 2021

Apr 16, 2021 at 10:29 AM UTC

images

The images of who I used to be Fluttering, slipping through my very fingers like Fine salt and sand Perhaps they were never mine to begin with Not the images of who i used to be but Images of who I desperately wanted to be Of whom i never was Which begs to ask Who am i then? Will i ever find you? There’s a heavy statement laying on my throat, Stopping my speech but not my incessant thoughts Do i want to find you? You see, I often look in the mirror, looking for the layers underneath, The meaning and beauty often found within, but My fear is, no layers will ever be found, that all there is is The emptiness watching me back with void eyes Do i want to find you? Devoid is what i feel when alone, a sense of not being enough to withstand what is normally withstood, Loneliness has, at times, been my only friend Do i want to find you? I find in my books the people that I want to be, Filled with a passion and pride that I can never seem to find but, They must have something right I find in the eyes of others who i want to be, Those that sparkle with a sort of desire, A true sign of being in love with the present, with life I see this beauty that can’t be found within my own What do they have that i don't? Perhaps it was misplaced? I lost it along the way. Perhaps it was never something i had in the first place Perhaps I am to only find this sparkle within the eyes of others, never my own Perhaps it is selfish to want it for myself Do i want to find you? Alone, But you are with me both of us wish to be somewhere else Alone, Do you want to be found? Or is it better to pretend you don’t exist? Alone, You stare back at me, Defiance, is that what I see? Or perhaps this is your way of mocking me? To dare i think that there’s something deeper under my skin There’s nothing but bone, bone, bone nothing but me, me, me Nothing more The images of who i thought i was A mask i wore well for so long I had even fooled myself into the role The mask is as deep as it gets The truth that i wish to avoid I’ve known you my whole life, but I don’t know you What a poor lover i am indeed Will you, along with the others, also leave? They all leave, eventually There’s no reason to stay Wallow in self pity and The infantile need Stay stay stay stay please If not just for a few more moments Stay with me, please just don't leave me Images of you Images of me Images of those that would’ve stayed If I wasn’t me Flashing Camera roll shots If only I wasn't me Lovers Friends If only I wasn’t me The sparkle in your eyes in mine as well, We glimmer as we speak If only I wasn’t me You lean in and I do too, no rush Knowing there’s a lifetime ahead of us to explore what we desire If only i wasn’t me Your hug being one those that keeps me warm I find myself coming back to see your glimmer If only I wasn’t me I believe you words, your motives You mean it when you say you love me If only I wasn’t me But i know better How can you love what I cannot bear? I won't hold it against you Things would be different If only i wasn't me Images Of the person that I’ll never be Of the people that i love Of the lovers that leaved The love that i could never find for myself Rests within your hands Do with it what you please I’ll be here with the images Alone, With me me me me me me me me me me

101

knuckles bleeding drip down to the ***** bathroom floor rose petals and diamonds across the black and white tile beneath my feet the bitter taste of defeat sitting on the tip of my tongue eyes travel upwards to where it used to be dull eyes sallow skin yellow teeth a corpse i see in front of me the corpse meets its empty eyes towards mine a knowing smirk on its face taunting "i am you and you are me" blind rage and fury only wanting to destroy a craving for a feat the dead eyes show no emotion but still they glimmer with this sort of obscenity knowing full well of the agony created with the waxy blue lips and destruction caused by the skeletal limps malice is all this monster knows "i cannot be you, this cannot be me' i try to look away but the corpse is all i see shuttering images of the nails, the lips, the teeth i grab the dagger i see before me smashing the image slaying the beast till it's nothing but glittering diamonds till i taste the blood between my teeth knees weak salty tears and crimson rivers the corpse smiles "i am you and you are me"

0

Jan 22, 2021

Jan 22, 2021 at 5:36 PM UTC

mirror

knuckles bleeding drip down to the ***** bathroom floor rose petals and diamonds across the black and white tile beneath my feet the bitter taste of defeat sitting on the tip of my tongue eyes travel upwards to where it used to be dull eyes sallow skin yellow teeth a corpse i see in front of me the corpse meets its empty eyes towards mine a knowing smirk on its face taunting "i am you and you are me" blind rage and fury only wanting to destroy a craving for a feat the dead eyes show no emotion but still they glimmer with this sort of obscenity knowing full well of the agony created with the waxy blue lips and destruction caused by the skeletal limps malice is all this monster knows "i cannot be you, this cannot be me' i try to look away but the corpse is all i see shuttering images of the nails, the lips, the teeth i grab the dagger i see before me smashing the image slaying the beast till it's nothing but glittering diamonds till i taste the blood between my teeth knees weak salty tears and crimson rivers the corpse smiles "i am you and you are me"

50

i'm driving alone alone again lights are flashing again and again i see your face lightened by the passing cars and the streetlights of 3 AM i'm so tired of being alone feeling as though i am not known to anyone but me glass shown see through unknown you don't see me and god i wish you cared but i do i wish i didn't i wish i didn't i wish i didn't but i do again and again i keep caring for your apathetic glance and your swaggering stance for something that doesn't even stand a chance i'm driving alone again and again by now i'm used to it again and again and one of these days i won't see your face perhaps it will be another all i know is that it will be replaced or perhaps not one at all just the lights of 3 AM again and again and again

0

Jan 21, 2021

Jan 21, 2021 at 3:59 PM UTC

again

i'm driving alone alone again lights are flashing again and again i see your face lightened by the passing cars and the streetlights of 3 AM i'm so tired of being alone feeling as though i am not known to anyone but me glass shown see through unknown you don't see me and god i wish you cared but i do i wish i didn't i wish i didn't i wish i didn't but i do again and again i keep caring for your apathetic glance and your swaggering stance for something that doesn't even stand a chance i'm driving alone again and again by now i'm used to it again and again and one of these days i won't see your face perhaps it will be another all i know is that it will be replaced or perhaps not one at all just the lights of 3 AM again and again and again

41

i wish to be apart of your universe not the whole of it i wish to be a passing thought even if it's just for a little bit i don't want your world to revolve around me i'm content to be a star a name you think of within your day even when i'm far as long as i'm apart of your memories it will be all be fine to me and as long as when recollecting my face is one you'll see even long after, i'm no longer here i hope my voice is something you'll hear i hope i'm not this passing voice a distant call or a fleeting choice i don't want want to be a shadow within your mind i want to be vivd as you are in mine i'm not asking your world or even your love i'm asking if my presence will be enough will you remember me?

0

Jan 8, 2020

Jan 8, 2020 at 10:13 PM UTC

rememory

i wish to be apart of your universe not the whole of it i wish to be a passing thought even if it's just for a little bit i don't want your world to revolve around me i'm content to be a star a name you think of within your day even when i'm far as long as i'm apart of your memories it will be all be fine to me and as long as when recollecting my face is one you'll see even long after, i'm no longer here i hope my voice is something you'll hear i hope i'm not this passing voice a distant call or a fleeting choice i don't want want to be a shadow within your mind i want to be vivd as you are in mine i'm not asking your world or even your love i'm asking if my presence will be enough will you remember me?

21

tell me something sweet to hear play that music that drowns your fear play that jazz that swings and slides and the rock n' roll that never dies we can listen to the classic songs by the Beatles and Elton John just pick your poison and album too whatever it is I'm down to do no matter the soundtrack, I want you here I'll be singing the words if it keeps you near so roll down the window and let down your hair let's never forget these nights we share

0

Nov 20, 2019

Nov 20, 2019 at 11:34 PM UTC

harmony

tell me something sweet to hear play that music that drowns your fear play that jazz that swings and slides and the rock n' roll that never dies we can listen to the classic songs by the Beatles and Elton John just pick your poison and album too whatever it is I'm down to do no matter the soundtrack, I want you here I'll be singing the words if it keeps you near so roll down the window and let down your hair let's never forget these nights we share

12

it's the same situation again i'm driving on this darkened road i can't see anything around me except this single glowing light that's ahead i don't know what this light is, but i know what it feels it's that feeling of almost reaching something but not being quite there it's the feeling of almost accomplishing the goal but not matching up it's that feeling of almost whether it's because of this subconscious desire or obsessive yearning, i need to reach this light i have to make it to this light, whether it's the last thing i do i don't know if i'll ever each this light but i have a whole lifetime to find out mysterious light where are you?

0

Oct 31, 2019

Oct 31, 2019 at 1:35 PM UTC

mysterious light

it's the same situation again i'm driving on this darkened road i can't see anything around me except this single glowing light that's ahead i don't know what this light is, but i know what it feels it's that feeling of almost reaching something but not being quite there it's the feeling of almost accomplishing the goal but not matching up it's that feeling of almost whether it's because of this subconscious desire or obsessive yearning, i need to reach this light i have to make it to this light, whether it's the last thing i do i don't know if i'll ever each this light but i have a whole lifetime to find out mysterious light where are you?

20