At night, I'm afraid to dream
of warmth and nostalgia and light;
fleeting moments of joy you brought into my life. Only to wake up knowing it was a memory; that my walls are no longer kissed with golden sunshine, that my days no longer consist of your sweet messages of love and empathy and hope.
At day, I am numb and fixated on your death. I bargain reality; dozing off, speculating scenarios of what could've been. My despair like a whirlpool of devastation; of loving thoughts and regret that I'm clawing to get out of only to sink deeper and deeper. I am trapped in a constant cycle of overwhelming sadness and feeling nothing at all.
At all times, I miss you, loved one.
I miss you as the sun misses blue skies at night and the moon misses stars at day. My soul searches for yours through my memories and passing thoughts. But your presence has left me in this lonely world, and I ache for the time we are finally united again.
I mourn you, I pray for you.
I promise you
With all that I am, I love you.
Oct 29, 2021
Oct 29, 2021 at 5:30 AM UTC
still regret how I treated you
all those years ago
underappreciating
the love you've shown me
throughout the many years
through our ups and downs
laughs and cries
I can't help but miss you
I don't want to say goodbye
Oct 29, 2021
Oct 29, 2021 at 5:02 AM UTC
I wish I were dead.
But not really dead, just unfeeling.
Unfeeling of pain, unfeeling of love,
unfeeling of all of the above.
But I resist everday
and stay alive.
Hoping and praying
I'll stop feeling dead inside.
Sep 25, 2021
Sep 25, 2021 at 11:47 PM UTC
You surround me like an open sea
I'm barely alive above the water
but I know I'll be sinking soon
once again,
engulfed and swallowed whole
by Your merciless waves
but I'll emerge damp and breathing
waiting to sink again
Feb 8, 2021
Feb 8, 2021 at 5:34 AM UTC
harrowing wails awaken my bones
it is the Call of Mourning
farewell to the flesh and blood i once was
the core of my being answers to a new melody
Dec 28, 2019
Dec 28, 2019 at 8:53 PM UTC
What will release us from our own mortal folly?
a burn across our stricken cheek?
a sorrowful departure?
a gentle kiss?
Death himself.
Oct 19, 2019
Oct 19, 2019 at 4:41 PM UTC
Jarring notes leap off your tongue
yet they flow through my mind
like the passing of seasons
Deep down you always knew that I was not the one
Now and again, my thoughts just bury me alive
but it's better than being by your side
So **** you, **** you
go cry yourself to sleep
I'd rather hurt you now
than be stagnant and incomplete
Aug 13, 2019
Aug 13, 2019 at 11:19 PM UTC
they say to not bite the hand
that feeds you
yet the same hand that feeds me
has scarred and left me incapable
of feeding myself.
Jul 8, 2019
Jul 8, 2019 at 4:38 AM UTC
a sweet serene gaze captures my spirit
like light through a glass prism,
I diverge into a spectrum of colors I wished not see for myself.
I wonder if he would forgive me;
an abomination or merely another being
amongst an ineffable design of life?
to be light through one's prism,
to ricochet and bend through the fragility of their ego
but never distort the truth,
beholding all the colors they reflect
and acknowledging that there will always be a palace
a temple and sanctuary for them
within my hands and my heart.
Jun 29, 2019
Jun 29, 2019 at 4:51 PM UTC