The mind is restless befriending evil while resisting its attacks.
It knows destruction may be inevitable, yet whispers of redemption remain.
The fight continues. Each action feels like a battle, every decision a dilemma shaped by people, by the world, by business, by relationships.
Even after choosing to confront the evil within and step forward, the path shifts again
another test, another temptation, another moment that feels worthless.
Still, the fight continues.
Sep 1, 2025
Sep 1, 2025 at 1:33 AM UTC
Did you wake up?
I was thinking...
we have been cuddling each other from different spaces,
from different distances,
and we do not speak.
Just feel the warmth of our bodies,
in a sense that we just need each other.
We do not need the brains.
We do not need the feelings.
We don't even need the greetings.
We don't talk all day,
we don't talk all night.
Only when it's needed.
Only when we need something from each other.
And time has passed.
It has been years.
Wondering what made us come close.
Even the ask for *** is not there anymore.
But we just want to make sure
that we continue to see each other in front of us.
It's just like a mirror.
It's just like a sesame.
It's just like a sense of presence that is required.
That is where we find peace.
So that the heart is not broken.
One breaks at the other.
It's confusing.
We've had a lot of questions to ask.
We ask each other—
What's going on?
What happened?
What can we do?
What have we done so far in these years?
How have we survived each other?
And once we were done with the questions,
now we don't ask anymore—
Why?
Why do we still argue?
Why have we not lost connection?
Why have we not lost access or address for each other?
What is it?
Is it that we're looking for closure?
The acceptance is not there now.
We are busy with priorities,
life calamities—
some including us,
some excluding us.
And some thoughts intruding,
blocking an overview.
We have never made this far—
it's a thought that I sometimes wonder.
But I still feel,
or I felt,
or I thought—
whatever you name it—
that it might be necessary
for the heart,
or for the brain,
or for time
to go through with it.
Go through with it,
and see how far we've come.
And also because the mistakes I made
through the journey without you—
maybe I would have never done,
or I would have never taken those steps.
You might have just tolerated me,
but still—
I would have felt protected,
because you dominated my feelings,
and that's what I needed at that moment.
But I failed.
I failed to understand me.
I failed to understand everything around me.
I needed patience.
I had to just take care of being anxious.
Well, I'll go now.
It's not good.
And I see that you are sleeping without expression,
so you might not be dreaming at the moment—
but likely, you've been tired.
Tired long enough
that your body forced you to go to sleep.
But you continue to spend nights awake,
worrying about your feelings.
Not worrying about someone else,
but just worrying about your feelings,
thinking—
how can I protect and savor myself from being vulnerable?
And that is making you stronger.
That is making you ruthless.
Know that there is no other choice
but to create a thick skin,
a boundary,
let go of me—
even though I'm just skin to skin with you.
Because I just don't exist beyond the dreams anymore.
It's likely that you're done with your questions.
You're done with the confusion that you already had.
And that has made you understand
that you had nothing to do with the break.
And we're done asking what is at stake.
I've taken other responsibilities,
which I accept—
you go through with your life.
I'm not thinking about the people that you love,
but just probably surviving,
wondering about the people that love you.
And I'm grateful to them,
and grateful that being around you
has been more important.
Maybe that is all there is now
Jun 20, 2025
Jun 20, 2025 at 3:20 PM UTC
Ten years.
And here we are.
Full circle.
Older.
Tired.
I left.
I built the house.
The ring. The vows.
Six years tied tight—
cribs, birthdays, broken sleep.
And you—
you stayed.
Alone in the city I escaped.
Same crowd and buzz,
same silence
I once called freedom.
I ran.
I chose.
And now I stand here
in front of you
as if none of that happened.
As if the knot on my finger
is loose in the dark.
What are we doing?
Why are we here?
Two people who let go—
one to drown in duty,
one to float in drift—
meeting again like the world forgot
we finished this.
You look the same like I was time travelling
I grew twice my years
maybe just wanting
to know why it still stirs.
Why the thread pulls
even now.
Is this memory?
Regret?
Loneliness?
Or the sharp, quiet ache
of what was never done?
We are older.
But not past it.
Not beyond the question:
Why?
Jun 11, 2025
Jun 11, 2025 at 4:05 PM UTC
It began with hope, it began with a list of goals
Is this the way any journey unfolds?
Perhaps, there are times for the opposite
Unspoken until it crosses the threshold
I shall skip the happy days and why not?
The days were extraordinarily a common plot
And focus on the departure within chaos
Something one had never thought
We stayed indoors
when words spread about some of us went missing
And slept on the floors
as the blasts shook the beds and our minds hissing
We prepared to leave one day, we who had our families worried
Because any news they got, they only thought we'd be buried
The skies were denied to cooperate
So we took the road
12 checkpoints, and any bags we had
On each we unpacked and unload
Luck favoured? No, I'd say God helped with his powers
And we reached the camps after 17 hours
We were marked and stamped and off the nation
I still may remember the faces I saw
Only the ones Impatient
Routines were fixed like sunrise and sunset, like days and nights
But I counted my stay, home was not in sight
Containers of toilets in the open
Trucks of food twice a day
Inside the voices were choking
Wondering the price one had to pay
Everyday a queue would break, for food of course
everyday someone was fighting
More than 30 nations of faces
For sure, no one was dieting
I changed my clothes two days apart
I laugh now as it was the 9th day I did not bath
Though It was desert and cold and dry all along
We all kept thinking, what else could go wrong
12th night, I had it all memorized, there was a plane assigned to carry us, the listed alone
I was used to be sleeping on bare sand within a tent
But finally, it was time to come home
It was raining when I landed, a car waiting for me
And the faces glad to see me in warm blood
I only smiled I guess, I was numb and why not?
I swam beneath the flood
Life had many reasons to stop lying, and moments to pretend
Sometimes I only think,
I dont really remember, what actually happened
Mar 2, 2020
Mar 2, 2020 at 6:34 AM UTC
I used to enjoy my lonliness
It was a part of the holiness
Processing the cleanliness
Playing myself but together the game of chess
Managing the part of being alone
But its a piece of mess to handle atleast a place to battle conceeding scores to rattle the timber where I can settle, MY HOME
Jan 7, 2020
Jan 7, 2020 at 4:12 AM UTC
The ice denied to inform the river that she will melt
Maybe the mountain did not bother how she felt
Now who shall be blamed for the flood
Name the murderer, but there is no blood
Search for the stains along the shore,
Although, if you look for more
Planks of wood from a farm,
The soul wanders, body floats from the arms
Details are pending but the answers lie at the core
CANNOT DIG A WAY TO IT.
Nov 11, 2019
Nov 11, 2019 at 7:17 AM UTC
For the seconds or the moments to let it all out
For a language to understand or just be loud
For the one to survive with its all about
No room for a word of doubt
A leap of faith towards the possible chances
A room enough secure around you as time advances
Quite the melody played to which
Life only dances
Sep 7, 2019
Sep 7, 2019 at 1:49 PM UTC
Love has no meaning but a lota definitions
Some give opinions, some share qoutations
Reality has a boundary, love no limitations
You can accept the situations
Uncertain destinations
And love?
Deny the hesitations?
Change the animation?
Design the words and release the expressions
You?
I run into the lose of words
But keeps reminding of the bird
The sky is the impression
The unsung illusion
Me?
If you rule as the Queen of my world of poetry
Then why wouldn’t I love you
If you make me smile for a minute
Then why wouldn’t I love you
If you leave one day but still stay in my heart
Why wouldn’t I love you
I may not be able to be with you, I know that
But why wouldn’t I love you
Its okay. Right?
Love speaks to reality.
Jul 28, 2019
Jul 28, 2019 at 3:39 AM UTC
I could just deny the spoken words
But how do I deny what I see
Look how far the sky has touched you
The scars seem perfect to me
The definition of beauty might be the reflection and the refraction and summation of the eyes and the brain
The connection is surely the attraction on the actions making me insane
The actions of the tone of your skin
The biting of the lips squeezing them thin
The vulnerable heart out in the open to win
It is broken and pinned
Having all of it but I shall pretend
That there are no curtains, no end
To this play, to this epic, to this volume, to this ballad
I wish the words beg to be arranged infinitely, just to be you
Sit around every corner of the curves and the brinks of your body
And still feel strange
Jul 7, 2019
Jul 7, 2019 at 6:42 AM UTC
I scroll through the pages
Of your faces
In different stages
After Ages
Jun 15, 2019
Jun 15, 2019 at 11:04 AM UTC