im sitting here
knife in my chest
crying out in pain
im not sure i can take this
im sitting here
wondering what
i did wrong
tears roll down my face
youre sitting there
hidden from my sight
not leaving your shell
and keeping to yourself
this knife in my heart
is twisting and turning
i sob through the pain
for there is nothing i can do
Dec 22, 2018
Dec 22, 2018 at 8:05 PM UTC
i've fallen into love
it engulfs every inch of my body
i feel it with every atom of me
its irreplaceable
shes told me she loved me
i thought it was true
she says she lied
im not sure what to believe
shes fallen out of love
if was ever there in the beginning
she tells me shes not ready
to talk about what happened
shes running far from me
i wish i had a chance
because i still love her
with all of my heart
Dec 22, 2018
Dec 22, 2018 at 8:02 PM UTC
her beauty
controlled the sun itself
for with every smile that shaped from her mouth
came a new ray of light from the atmosphere
her lips
released pure gold
for with every word which was spoken
your ears would squeal with delight
her eyes
gifted your soul
for with every look she gave you
your heart would swell larger than the universe
her everything
was perfect
yet i pushed it away
within my desperateness
goodbye to her
Aug 20, 2018
Aug 20, 2018 at 12:56 AM UTC
"hey" you text me
so casual
so calm
but even before a hurricane
the sun still shines
i read that you have someone new
someone real
someone there
my heart launches into space
desperately attempting to escape the pain
but pain travels at the speed of light
and my heart is not nearly fast enough
"it's okay" i tell you
because i understand
i really do
that one cannot control whom they love
although we never 'made it official'
i still felt as though we somewhat were
but when he came into your life
suddenly his name was in your beginning page
yet mine had never been
and in your book you wrote
that he made you "the happiest you'd ever been"
yet i was never in your book
sometimes i feel as though you were ashamed of me
although i know it isn't true
the day you told me
i almost couldn't stand it
for days i sat in sorrow
looking into oblivion with a vacant stare
i wanted to cry
and some days i did
but my mind has a way of protecting me
and it stopped my emotions before they got too bad
so now i just sit and feel fine
or feel nothing
what is the difference anyway
Aug 20, 2018
Aug 20, 2018 at 12:48 AM UTC
that day
when the sun shined through my curtains
and the birds chirped
it seemed like any other day
that day
when i sat in the car
riding towards my friends house
it seemed like any other time
that day
when you messaged me
telling me how you felt
everything stopped
that day was not like any other day
Aug 20, 2018
Aug 20, 2018 at 12:36 AM UTC
i barricaded the gates of sound
and for a moment
just a moment
all was calm
all was gone
nothing ceased to exist
and in that moment
death felt closer and friendlier
than it ever had before
Jul 8, 2018
Jul 8, 2018 at 11:37 PM UTC
Stop
Don't do this to yourself
The more pills you take
The shorter you live
I cant live through this life
If you leave me here
You're ruining your body with these petty meds
They take away a part of you that I need most
Your emotions are what matter
But you are throwing them away like paper plates
So stop
Because you're the only one that can stop you
And I can't sit back and watch you slowly **** any longer
Nov 8, 2017
Nov 8, 2017 at 1:12 PM UTC
Is it possible for me to be without you?
I can't survive without you.
I walk through the halls searching for you.
When I'm with you,
I need to be touching you.
In any way possible we must be touching.
It comforts me.
You fill that empty space where happiness must be.
You make me happy.
You make me feel like I'm alive.
So no, it is not possible for me to be without you.
I just go crazy.
Nov 6, 2017
Nov 6, 2017 at 2:39 PM UTC
STOP IT
WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME WORLD?
EVERY SOUND IS DEAFENING
MY MIND GOES NUMB
EARS START RINGING
VISION GOES BLURRY
DEATH STANDS DOWN THE HALLWAY
A STARING CONTEST
MY PARENTS TURN AND TELL ME I'M WORTH NOTHING
I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW
I'M FALLING, DEAR FRIEND
WON"T YOU HELP ME RECOVER
INSANITY TAKES MY MIND
MY AIRBAGS TWIST AND WRITHE WITHIN MY CHEST
MY DRUMS POUND BLOOD THROUGH MY VEINS
SCREAMING IN MY EAR
ANXIETY TAKES OVER LIKE A MONSTER
OH FRIEND, WON"T YOU PLEASE LIFT ME UP?
Nov 6, 2017
Nov 6, 2017 at 8:12 AM UTC
Spirals in my lungs.
Like vultures in the sky.
Trying not to fall.
Like grasping onto air.
You stand and watch.
But that's okay.
Because I want to fall.
Falling makes me happy.
Falling gives me hope.
I need to fall.
Fall in love with you.
Nov 6, 2017
Nov 6, 2017 at 8:02 AM UTC