example-alone
I never thought of myself as a poet, but a few years ago I started having issues with my mental health. This dilemma in my life has changed everything about me from the way that I see things, the way I am and the way I treat people. On top of that it was change the world I live in. My mental illness prevents me from working, being in public places and around people. Not having permanent housing makes it even more of a challenge. So I needed to express all this hurt and all these emotions i was carrying. So my way of letting it out was by writing. My writing skills are very poor but everything that I write is about actual events that me and my dog (mini poodle) go through and what I face everyday with mental health issues on the streets of SF. Thank you for taking the time to read my poems as well as my bio please leave comments I would love to hear your responses about what you think, it would mean a lot to me.... thank you
All I want is to love you for the rest of my life,
(But to tell me you hate me and how you can't stand me in your life)
To wake up every morning with you by my side,
(In the den is where I sleep alone as I cry)
Knowing that no matter what happens I'll be able to come home to your loving arms.
(You left me alone where did you go,believe me I'd tell you but we both already know)
I want to share everything with you.
(But you keep taking everything away from me too
You know this is true you leave me with nothing, control is all you do)
Easy to talk to you about our ideas and dreams and a little every day things that makes us laugh
(But then you turn around and Crush my heart as you start to laugh, telling me How disgusting and how you hate my ***
And cut not-so-little things that we can't help worrying about.
(But you make me worry about everything as you scream and shout tell me I'm nothing and i need to get out)
I want to give you my love.
(But Then you tell me you want to **** me)
a place you can always come to you for acceptance or the simple comfort that silence brings when things left unspoken can still be understood.
(What's there to understand because you're never silent when you're pointing your finger and telling me how low of a person that I am)
May 10, 2017
May 10, 2017 at 6:55 AM UTC
Remembering our love
I remember how you use to touch me,
How you'd pull me toward you and all you wanted to do was love me,
I remember how you'd be so sweet calling me baby making me feel like My world was complete,
I Remember how i felt life again and how you swept me right from underneath my feet,
I remember how every night you wanted me in your arms as we held each other while we'd sleep,
I remember waking up each morning in each other's arms ready to start the day off right,
I remember Holding hands in public walking proud cause i was with you,
I remember the day I said I do how you took my last name it was a dream I Thought would never come true,
I remember us being happy with nothing to fear just happy to have me near,
Then I remember the day that all disappeared,
I remember the day we started to have problems oh how unsettling that feeling of fear not knowing when I could touch you or even come near,
I guess I'm just remembering oh how I wish this all wasn't real.
Apr 22, 2017
Apr 22, 2017 at 6:09 AM UTC
They're here again
I can hear them all again
back and forth
talking and screaming
just like the beginning
they don't stop
The fire theHeat the fire the burning desire to run away
because this is everyday
the back and forward screaming my name making me feel insane
they're coming to get me
are you playing this game
I move the bed up up against the door some luck then that's for sure
the room is on the 4th floor
brick wall out side the window,
nothing else that's for sure.
Still convinced they'll find a way inside
So barricade the window
a blanket cover to
no one will see me inside what are they coming for what do they want with me , hurt me, I'm confused and dazed scared just wish they would hurry and do it so it would be finished I can't keep going through it
Jul 23, 2016
Jul 23, 2016 at 11:05 PM UTC
Best friend oh best friend where are you
I want someone down for me like id be down for them
*Someone I know that will have my back and never to
turn the corner without looking back*
*Someone I share my thoughts with and has no judgement on me
Just making sure im safe at whatever it may be*
And maybe they don't agree with everything but truly believes in me
Someone that knows me for right and wrong
Someone who's willing to show me the possibility in life to carry me on
Will help each other throughout thick and thin
Someone that holds my secrets and holds them deep within
Someone who will tell the truth at whatever it is
Someone who won't sleep with my girl or boy friend
Someone who defends me and my name
when someone's talking smack we defend each other the same
and when we fight we get over it right
someone I can trust that gets over the fuss
I don't need a bully or someone mean
*Just someone who's willing to be there when i need
them and I'll do the same*
someone that when we get older will still be In each others life
*And when our time is through either one will be
there to say good bye too*
With all this comes the same from me to them
I just want to find that true best friend
May 17, 2016
May 17, 2016 at 4:59 AM UTC
Never a Friend
bluffing until the end
ever morning we'd start it again
Huffing and puffing
the pulling begin
**making those marks they've never scard
my friend**
falling over and trying to stand
You'll always think your right and I was your left hand man
control is your motive power trip slogan
wish you could see it and not just be it
I'm not the witch's Taylor or your finger man slayer
never a friend just learn how to player
May 10, 2016
May 10, 2016 at 8:07 PM UTC
How could you be so cruel,
How you invite me over and then treat me like a fool,
making me look stupid,
stop being so quick,
Your attitude has changed,
your Double faced its insane,
I'm trying to figure you out,
how this all came about,
you speak in such a high voice with anger,
Your vague, your words to short,
your answers to quick,
debate with me about stupid ****
I'm so confused why I'm here,
stop and look in the mirror,
I know the truth and so do you,
we all go through it but we own up to it, responsibility for our actions,
Which then leads to satisfaction,
I'm dumb and been used,
but wait I'm really confused because you use everyone that will light up your fuze,
I'm already going through it,
its very clear I'm your last resort,
Your not right is what I discovered,
so you continue to disrespect me,
So cold,
so angry,
life of Irritation starts to unfold,
Making me wonder what did i do,
Despite all this I know its not me its you,
I don't deserve to be belittled,
so ill Call you out on your act ,
its time for your bluff to be uncovered,
But I like you and that's why I'm puzzled,
Im feeling really Jealous
i want to be strong but I know
This will all go wrong,
Apr 28, 2016
Apr 28, 2016 at 6:38 AM UTC
**Another day another night,
another hour another fight,
this room is filled with fear and uncertainty,
is a solution near,
no it's very far and nothing ever seems clear,
Once long ago
happiness of course that's what I wished for,
Unhappiness is what I got,
I've tried,
I've lied ,
I've fell,
I've cried,
my end is near,
I'm making this clear,
exhausted that's me,
I'm tired,
please see,
I can't do this no more,
my life of struggle is brakes every piece of me,
my stomach is turning growling and swirling,
hunger it hurts,
who will I miss or who will miss me, no one i see,
I only live another day for my pup I walk today.**
Mar 12, 2016
Mar 12, 2016 at 12:33 PM UTC
After thinking long and hard,
Of what I'd wish upon a star,
Now the decision is very clear,
But how does one wish for darkness and fear,
My life has been cloudy and left out in the rain,
I've hit to many stops signs,
Its become Grotius when falling not feeling a thing,
Not brave enough to do it myself,
Only a wish that I wish for myself,
Darkness as my eyes close,
I begin to freeze,
Into a deep sleep which then I'll disappear,
No more heart break,
No more tears and definitely no more fears,
No more pain not a worry,
Only a memory that will become blurry,
But then at least my life will finally get to end,
Especially when this life is over and my new one gets to begin,
But that's like asking for rain without thunder but you always will get the sun,
So let my life be over,
So Reincarnation can start over.
Mar 4, 2016
Mar 4, 2016 at 3:10 PM UTC
I wish that one day,
I have the opportunity to say,
That this part of my life is just like a **** or a bump and Soon it will pass us,
Then when I'm past this I will finally will get a chance to grasp this,
I really hope I get second chances,
But I only wish for a chance to say this in another day when my life is finally passed this,
so cross your fingers and hope For second chances,
For this is my life and thats why I wish
To eventually pass this.
Feb 27, 2016
Feb 27, 2016 at 12:28 PM UTC
The off white walls as the paint is beginning to peal, the foundation has shifted, Washed faded teal tiles cold and sticky chipping away, The microwave place on top of the 3 legged fridge slides every time it's ajar, old wooden dresser missing the bottom draw as the other two grow mold inside from the dampness of the floor, An old Orange curtain hanging to the left of the window, barely hanging on the broken rod, as the TV sits in the corner faces the wall, single sink with the medicine cabinet with the cloudy mirror, This is my room for the night, me and my "pup" will get to sleep tonight, So sitting here with him, we listen to all the sounds and noises, smelling the stench of a burning cigarette, look out the window to only see trash over flowing, people talking in the room beside me, I try to hold it inside me, but then I let it loose and tears start to fall, then I stop knowing I need to be strong, at least from my "pup", I tried to show no weakness, these emotions of mine get the best out of us sometimes, dragging him along he always feels when I feel wrong, and when I'm down he's down, I always see it when were out as he walks along, side by side I look down and see my little shadow prancing along, Together we are a whole, hard falls and slippery roads. No matter what always there to pick each other up. I know I made it this far because my little shining star, I owe it to him for keeping me up this far.
Feb 17, 2016
Feb 17, 2016 at 1:33 PM UTC