evelyn-silver - Hello Poetry

I pace back and forth Needing to move, needing do By my own designs I am trapped For I am the architect of my own life, no one owns me I'm not free though Its quite the beautiful cage I've designed myself With gilded promises of happiness I coaxed myself in I should have known that golden shackles are still shackles

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Dec 28, 2018

Dec 28, 2018 at 4:11 AM UTC

Golden Shackles

I pace back and forth Needing to move, needing do By my own designs I am trapped For I am the architect of my own life, no one owns me I'm not free though Its quite the beautiful cage I've designed myself With gilded promises of happiness I coaxed myself in I should have known that golden shackles are still shackles

8

I proclaim myself independent, proud, firmly in control, What a deception. I want nothing more than to abandon every shred of independence, In place of you. I beg you to see your my feeble attempts to distance myself from you, Seize me. I know you’ll probably just end up hurting me all over again, I care not. I take such a lurid pleasure in surrendering to another, Despite the consequences. I feel shackled by my own autonomy and pride, Free me.

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Apr 16, 2018

Apr 16, 2018 at 2:52 AM UTC

Seize Me

I proclaim myself independent, proud, firmly in control, What a deception. I want nothing more than to abandon every shred of independence, In place of you. I beg you to see your my feeble attempts to distance myself from you, Seize me. I know you’ll probably just end up hurting me all over again, I care not. I take such a lurid pleasure in surrendering to another, Despite the consequences. I feel shackled by my own autonomy and pride, Free me.

12

*I hasten towards you, Induced into some fit of self destruction; Shouldn't I know better by now*?

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Oct 26, 2016

Oct 26, 2016 at 5:56 PM UTC

Shouldn't I Know Better?

*I hasten towards you, Induced into some fit of self destruction; Shouldn't I know better by now*?

3

*Love, such a sweet fragile thing Everlasting, but short-termed A commitment to care A recipe for disaster.*

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Aug 10, 2016

Aug 10, 2016 at 6:59 PM UTC

Commitment to Care

*Love, such a sweet fragile thing Everlasting, but short-termed A commitment to care A recipe for disaster.*

4

I'm terrified Standing on the edge Unsure if the fall Will yield pleasure or pain. My feet inch forward Even as I lean backward My mind, my heart are torn One fears, the other desires. Will I take flight Wings of freedom Glorious, fiercely beautiful Holding me aloft Giving me new strength Soaring to unknown heights? Will I fall instead The terrible moment Before the impact Where one anticipates The soon reality Shattered bones Crushed hope Bottomless depths? Am I willing to jump Even for you? Is the risk worth it? Are you worth it? I feel the fragile earth Beneath my feet The empty air calls to it My choice may be made Decided by fate Sealed without my consent As the earth gives Into the void I fall to you In love The chasm is filled.

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May 8, 2016

May 8, 2016 at 12:51 PM UTC

The Chasm

I'm terrified Standing on the edge Unsure if the fall Will yield pleasure or pain. My feet inch forward Even as I lean backward My mind, my heart are torn One fears, the other desires. Will I take flight Wings of freedom Glorious, fiercely beautiful Holding me aloft Giving me new strength Soaring to unknown heights? Will I fall instead The terrible moment Before the impact Where one anticipates The soon reality Shattered bones Crushed hope Bottomless depths? Am I willing to jump Even for you? Is the risk worth it? Are you worth it? I feel the fragile earth Beneath my feet The empty air calls to it My choice may be made Decided by fate Sealed without my consent As the earth gives Into the void I fall to you In love The chasm is filled.

37

How is it, that I'm so perplexed? You utterly confuse me Your words, your actions, your motives... They leave me dumbfounded. It's always a game of guess and check Except, I'm never right How is that? Do your words have a double meaning I fail to catch? Perhaps there is no double meaning, I'm pondering apparitions. I'm slowly going mad, Trying to figure out your game, A hamster on a wheel, Spinning and spinning in circles, dizzied. You are my greatest challenge, My 1,000,000 piece puzzle, My epiphany forever out of reach, My unsolvable riddle, My terrible sphinx, You will never reveal the solution, will you?

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Apr 11, 2016

Apr 11, 2016 at 11:13 PM UTC

My Terrible Sphinx

How is it, that I'm so perplexed? You utterly confuse me Your words, your actions, your motives... They leave me dumbfounded. It's always a game of guess and check Except, I'm never right How is that? Do your words have a double meaning I fail to catch? Perhaps there is no double meaning, I'm pondering apparitions. I'm slowly going mad, Trying to figure out your game, A hamster on a wheel, Spinning and spinning in circles, dizzied. You are my greatest challenge, My 1,000,000 piece puzzle, My epiphany forever out of reach, My unsolvable riddle, My terrible sphinx, You will never reveal the solution, will you?

20

*I find it hard to write of the light, darkness has set its roots into me, I want to write of the light, but the stain, the shadow haunts me.* *The problem is this: my words do not come at will, only at the beckoning of fierce emotions, my joy is forever diminished by pain, all light is shadowed, dulled, made useless.* *I know I am not the only sufferer of this affliction... yet that offers little consolidation to one who loves the light, but belongs to the darkness.*

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Jan 19, 2016

Jan 19, 2016 at 9:23 PM UTC

To Write of the Light

*I find it hard to write of the light, darkness has set its roots into me, I want to write of the light, but the stain, the shadow haunts me.* *The problem is this: my words do not come at will, only at the beckoning of fierce emotions, my joy is forever diminished by pain, all light is shadowed, dulled, made useless.* *I know I am not the only sufferer of this affliction... yet that offers little consolidation to one who loves the light, but belongs to the darkness.*

12

It started gentle and subtle, a light kiss upon my soul; euphoria's kiss. A smile broke, my blood shimmered, my heart leaped. What could this possibility be? Euphoria's kiss, my dear, is none other's than your own.

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Dec 21, 2015

Dec 21, 2015 at 1:41 AM UTC

Euphoria's Kiss

It started gentle and subtle, a light kiss upon my soul; euphoria's kiss. A smile broke, my blood shimmered, my heart leaped. What could this possibility be? Euphoria's kiss, my dear, is none other's than your own.

8

The madness, the darkness has come seeping in, once again I am burdened with my sin, The thoughts, they swirl in a crazed tempo, beating against my skull with the desperate fury of a dying heart. I am drowning under a tide of pensive dispair, Struggling to even gasp for air, Oh! I lament my own awareness, my jealousy is reserved for the blind. Surely, I must be mad! How could I not be with such anguish I am clad, One true question remains. Will I fade, implode, or explode with such force as to devastate my own? Run! My darkness is no longer a flame lazing, but an inferno blazing, We all have our afflictions, mine is thought.

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Dec 13, 2015

Dec 13, 2015 at 4:19 PM UTC

Thought: My Affliction

The madness, the darkness has come seeping in, once again I am burdened with my sin, The thoughts, they swirl in a crazed tempo, beating against my skull with the desperate fury of a dying heart. I am drowning under a tide of pensive dispair, Struggling to even gasp for air, Oh! I lament my own awareness, my jealousy is reserved for the blind. Surely, I must be mad! How could I not be with such anguish I am clad, One true question remains. Will I fade, implode, or explode with such force as to devastate my own? Run! My darkness is no longer a flame lazing, but an inferno blazing, We all have our afflictions, mine is thought.

15

My head, my heart, they are empty, producing, containing nothing. Yet, they are stuffed to the max, flooding with thoughts, emotions, worries, hopes. How can one be so empty, yet so full? I am a ghost existing, alive and dead in this twisted world. They drain us of vitality and fill us with emptiness. We are the lost. Don’t bother looking for us, we are already gone, found.

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Dec 13, 2015

Dec 13, 2015 at 3:11 PM UTC

Filled With Emptiness

My head, my heart, they are empty, producing, containing nothing. Yet, they are stuffed to the max, flooding with thoughts, emotions, worries, hopes. How can one be so empty, yet so full? I am a ghost existing, alive and dead in this twisted world. They drain us of vitality and fill us with emptiness. We are the lost. Don’t bother looking for us, we are already gone, found.

11