i was cold
like everything else
before i even froze,
i thought of moving
i began running in circles
looking for something that'll thaw me
i saw the vast deep ocean,
i began testing waters.
i swam and swam
until regain my body heat
not warm enough - but neither cold
finally the cold got off.
i felt kind of happy.
instead of swimming back to the shore,
i explored the sea.
swam deeper,
my heart and body felt like it belongs to the waters
i began loving it, at least i think.
didn't realize i was already lost,
i barely recognize where i am.
didn't know the ocean changes too?
the thing i loved now turned into a monster.
it began swallowing me,
whole and alive.
i cant do anything,
i dont know why
i just watched myself get eaten by this beast,
i trusted him.
because he made my heart beats into symphonies
he said my voice is the type he'll not grow tired of.
i kind of believe him.
i kind of fell in love with someone's words
i kind of liked this man with a name i'll never know.
but he swallowed me.
and when i went back into my senses,
i'm back on square one,
but now,
my whole body,
frozen.
Jul 23, 2016
Jul 23, 2016 at 3:18 AM UTC
I was in love with the way he tells me about you,
Like your name is caressed before it leaves his mouth.
I keep repeating his voice in my head,
Thinking it was me he was talking about.
I was in love with the way he sings for you,
Like you were always the only woman left on earth.
I keep replaying how he recklessly strums the guitar,
Pretending I didn't hear my heart hurt.
I was in love with the way he melts you with his stare,
Like you were the only one there for him.
I keep reliving how he looks at you,
Imagining someday he'll look at me like that too.
I was in love with his words,
Like you were the only story to reveal.
I keep recalling how he described you like a drug,
Anticipating that he'd realize he's too good for you.
I was in love with the way he holds your hands,
Like they were the most precious things left in the world.
I keep remembering your fingers were always interlocked,
Hoping he will soon let go.
I am sorry I loved him,
I am sorry I still envy you.
Because no matter how many times I tell myself ********* on how much I am better than you,
I cannot forget the vision of you holding and kissing each other too easily,
I never came any closer on erasing how your bodies perfectly fit each other.
I
Never
Came
Any
Closer.
But forgive me,
I never knew how to unlove.
I never knew how to forget.
I never knew how to kiss..
The past good bye.
It's not for me to ask,
But please give him the love he needs,
The love he wants,
The love he deserves,
The love he desires.
Love him more than he loves you.
Love him for me.
Please.
Because I will never have the chance.
Because I will never come closer.
Because he will never let me.
Because it's always you.
Nov 8, 2015
Nov 8, 2015 at 7:28 AM UTC
One day you'll know,
and you'll come back to me.
May 31, 2015
May 31, 2015 at 6:07 AM UTC
you sure as hell ******* know this is the last word i would like to hear
WHY in the world you did happen
that you would stay late at nights just to be with me until i sleep?
why would you always tell me
that i'm am attractive
and that i am so easy to love
and that the person who would love me be the luckiest man on earth?
why would you want to hear
my voice late in the afternoon and early in the morning,
listen to my cracking voice as i sing?
why would you want to know
how i feel, what i feel, and how i can feel,
why do you want to know what goes on my mind,
the secrets buried in my soul,
the ones i hide and never told anyone else,
the ones i keep for myself?
why would life do this to me?
why did it make sure you had a girlfriend before me?
why did you let me love you?
why are you so charming?
attractive
captivating
and......
alluring?
you make me go crazy
**** why
why
why
for the last ******* time can you please tell me why
May 31, 2015
May 31, 2015 at 6:03 AM UTC
Why do I feel an ache in my chest?
Is it because life made sure that we'd never be anything more than best friends?
Life made sure you had a pretty girl friend.
But life insisted you'd always talk to me.
Life pushed me hard. Making me fall deeper and deeper for you each day.
Life reminded me of the barriers and the limits i must never forget.
Life gave me tears. For the feelings I shouldn't feel.
Life keeps me awake at night. Making me ponder about love.
Life made love difficult.
It was always difficult.
Life was always difficult when secretly loving a best friend.
May 10, 2015
May 10, 2015 at 5:57 AM UTC
you always have me puzzled
always leave me hanging
always reading between the lines
always kept me thinking
your words always in my mind,
always deep
always making me wonder
????????????????????????
Apr 28, 2015
Apr 28, 2015 at 4:25 AM UTC
I would say I love you but I taught myself not to love things that leave.
Jan 12, 2015
Jan 12, 2015 at 6:24 AM UTC
You’ll find someone better,
And please know that it’s not me.
Sorry if I can’t reciprocate
Trust me; I know it how it hurts, and I’m sorry.
Jan 3, 2015
Jan 3, 2015 at 1:23 AM UTC
it's 6 months already. i never thought someone would see and noticed me even when at least i think i am invisible. i loved and trusted him like a friend. but never i knew he would treat me differently.
sorry. i have no other ways of saying this. but. i can not reciprocate your feelings. sorry i don't know how to say this. sorry for making your efforts go to waste. sorry if i ran away after i knew. sorry if you never made it. sorry if i never gave you a chance.
i feel sorry for having somebody else in my heart.
sorry for rejecting you.
because trust me, i know what it feels.
Jan 3, 2015
Jan 3, 2015 at 1:06 AM UTC