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esotericist
21/M/JAIPUR
Poems2
Words284
Rains of happiness are scanty and scarce Darkness and pains blow perennially Build shifting sand dunes, where you lose yourself Occasionally I indulge in the ordinary I capture the animals, talk to them, care for them But that is occasional, mostly, I torment them Darkness is what I truly adore and admire It is its depths that fascinate me The deeper I go, the deeper it gets Bridges that I build all collapse The momentary bliss of being normal is a ******* illusion, that I try cling to These reveries when they last I feel happy, content, confident Though I fear, soon they will vanish And then would come the tentacular times Difficult it then gets to differentiate What is real from what is not. I get a bit anxious, paranoid and schizoid It's not as bad as it is for the sufferers But it is a ********** anyway Sometimes they last hours Sometimes days and weeks And at times, years The worst part is that I won't even know When the sandstorms take place of the rains Later when I do, it seems impossible to get out The triggers can be really subtle But the madness they bring along is not Sometimes the hot winds blow for no reason Focus and conviction, I lack Hence whatever I hold dear I lose Sometimes I feel like stopping to breathe To finally end, the infinite loop of endless loops The clusterfuck of gloom, a dance of dismay I have tried building defence mechanisms But whatever it is, it mutates and manifests In ways that are different from before I know nothing holds any meaning All this goes nowhere and will be worthless But there are a few happy moments My experiences may not be the best But when there are rains I tend to touch the skies And I have learned To carry on, even in the storms But how far I would go?
0
May 2, 2018
May 2, 2018 at 11:10 AM UTC
Inside my head
Rains of happiness are scanty and scarce Darkness and pains blow perennially Build shifting sand dunes, where you lose yourself Occasionally I indulge in the ordinary I capture the animals, talk to them, care for them But that is occasional, mostly, I torment them Darkness is what I truly adore and admire It is its depths that fascinate me The deeper I go, the deeper it gets Bridges that I build all collapse The momentary bliss of being normal is a ******* illusion, that I try cling to These reveries when they last I feel happy, content, confident Though I fear, soon they will vanish And then would come the tentacular times Difficult it then gets to differentiate What is real from what is not. I get a bit anxious, paranoid and schizoid It's not as bad as it is for the sufferers But it is a ********** anyway Sometimes they last hours Sometimes days and weeks And at times, years The worst part is that I won't even know When the sandstorms take place of the rains Later when I do, it seems impossible to get out The triggers can be really subtle But the madness they bring along is not Sometimes the hot winds blow for no reason Focus and conviction, I lack Hence whatever I hold dear I lose Sometimes I feel like stopping to breathe To finally end, the infinite loop of endless loops The clusterfuck of gloom, a dance of dismay I have tried building defence mechanisms But whatever it is, it mutates and manifests In ways that are different from before I know nothing holds any meaning All this goes nowhere and will be worthless But there are a few happy moments My experiences may not be the best But when there are rains I tend to touch the skies And I have learned To carry on, even in the storms But how far I would go?
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48
She is caressed and tickled faintly Moves her limbs swiftly against its currents Seeks to fend off the darkness that surrounds But is too uncaring to pay heed Pay heed to those floating by Disturbing their reveries Dreams they dream with their eyes wide open Gazing at the stars, the skies pitch black For their dreams to realize They pray to the stars falling To holy spirits, to Zeus in the gauzy haze Ignoring her as she drowns Wishing with lust for glitters and gold They float all over all around Blocking the shimmering moonlight The miniscule ray of hope that she had Worse, she got vertigo The waters wash away with whirlpools In effervescence all bonds that existed Now withered and weak The water of totality Incorporeal, incorporating totality With mediocre attempts Barely chafing composure of the surfers Surfers in trance, penancing after their dreams Somnolent and drooling in lullaby Unmindful of the drowning damsel She is about to succumb A drunk sailor passes by Intoxicated in psychedelics, tipsy With languid gait and slow movements The world melting before him With eyes closed he sees the unseen Vivid serene sceneries and warping visuals That you and I call hallucinations Purple, pink and scarlet with spirals And other ineffable amorphous shapes For his senses are hindered That he outreaches for help, that’d cost Cost him his own dreams and adventures Dreams to cover the seven seas With eleven bottles of *** A downhaul he extends for her All he sees is a beautiful woman in pain All he assumes is a paragon of virtue A company to fill in his solitude He helps her aboard. Appalled by apathy of the world She impels him out of his boat And treads on alone To conquer the world A world of despair Somewhere among the dreamers Floating on their surfboards The bored pirate sees it all In ephermal tranquillity For him, “All the world’s a stage” Innate truths of the world are clear Thus he just observes from a distance Like an all seeing eye of the illuminati And he doesn’t dream Anymore.
0
May 2, 2018
May 2, 2018 at 11:08 AM UTC
The Bored Pirate
She is caressed and tickled faintly Moves her limbs swiftly against its currents Seeks to fend off the darkness that surrounds But is too uncaring to pay heed Pay heed to those floating by Disturbing their reveries Dreams they dream with their eyes wide open Gazing at the stars, the skies pitch black For their dreams to realize They pray to the stars falling To holy spirits, to Zeus in the gauzy haze Ignoring her as she drowns Wishing with lust for glitters and gold They float all over all around Blocking the shimmering moonlight The miniscule ray of hope that she had Worse, she got vertigo The waters wash away with whirlpools In effervescence all bonds that existed Now withered and weak The water of totality Incorporeal, incorporating totality With mediocre attempts Barely chafing composure of the surfers Surfers in trance, penancing after their dreams Somnolent and drooling in lullaby Unmindful of the drowning damsel She is about to succumb A drunk sailor passes by Intoxicated in psychedelics, tipsy With languid gait and slow movements The world melting before him With eyes closed he sees the unseen Vivid serene sceneries and warping visuals That you and I call hallucinations Purple, pink and scarlet with spirals And other ineffable amorphous shapes For his senses are hindered That he outreaches for help, that’d cost Cost him his own dreams and adventures Dreams to cover the seven seas With eleven bottles of *** A downhaul he extends for her All he sees is a beautiful woman in pain All he assumes is a paragon of virtue A company to fill in his solitude He helps her aboard. Appalled by apathy of the world She impels him out of his boat And treads on alone To conquer the world A world of despair Somewhere among the dreamers Floating on their surfboards The bored pirate sees it all In ephermal tranquillity For him, “All the world’s a stage” Innate truths of the world are clear Thus he just observes from a distance Like an all seeing eye of the illuminati And he doesn’t dream Anymore.
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