I'm not as free
as I wish I could be,
since enslaved to my mind
Its been about 31 years of captivity.
Where there lingers
doubt,
fear,
loneliness
and greed,
which often lead
to other darker things
as I parlay with insanity and foreign dreams.
I'm trying not to be vanity
but I'm what it means,
through growing up without
and wanting things.
Though I've learned
the world’s been out of my control
proven through all I've seen.
So here I sit trying to poke a hole
exposing me,
losing myself
to you
through sincerity,
since I know
very well
that I am
my own
worst
enemy.
-JS
Jun 14, 2018
Jun 14, 2018 at 7:46 PM UTC
She goes through introspective prayer
yet holds me heavy in her heart . . .
or do I picture this because she blew it from the start.
How can I sincerely forgive her with time,
in this crazy world where it's me I can't find,
instead I find she’s just like every other lying girl I’ve left behind.
So even if I let her go,
the time has passed with no console
as I sit so far below
in the dim lighted life I show.
Remorse to what?
This is all I know,
falling in love with a girl that’s trying to take control
but I’ve seen this all before,
for I am what was planted
and this has been my growth.
From the bellows of the snow
I grew a strange ill figured rose
she’s come to love because of all my prose.
I grew reaching
for all the gifts,
that with time
expose,
always trying to reach
for all that's gold
or close to the color sunny glow.
Yet at times I’m withered to find
that no one knows the torment
of growing alone yet so bold.
So I feel it’s so strange
she thought she had a hold
of a feeble mind
she somehow thought
she could control.
Little does she know
I’m an old soul
and life speaks to me,
we’re a constant of human nature
that vibe through life
on different frequencies.
Though the explanations of it
I honestly don't know
but somehow I move
like a consistent flow.
It seems like my surroundings
just grow and grow,
trying to swallow me whole,
all the while I’m running fast for life
but at the same time I try to take life slow.-JS
Jun 13, 2018
Jun 13, 2018 at 10:37 PM UTC
She evoked a pause,
a pause in my day as everything around her froze,
a pause in my thoughts . . . therefore a pause in my note . . .
A pause in my breath,
as she aimlessly floats,
in her beautiful way so gracefully slow,
through the time she is sown in my beautiful note . . .
For this pause I will never know to exist as so brief and so slow,
as if in all of her glow I feel lost and so,
this moment's etched to forever show,
the beautiful pause evoked . . .
that's left by her . . . left in my lovely notes.-JS
Sep 15, 2015
Sep 15, 2015 at 5:59 PM UTC
Orange shaded lamp that's lit at 1 am, in the city of the angels where the homeless seem to live.
The tents are growing plenty as the poverties commence,
there's a *** for every bottle sitting in a city full of bins.
For every sin there's a bump, for every bar a new actress,
in some conversation is a liar hidden behind a foreign thick accent.
Someone hired, someone fired, by the beach are many lost kids,
some are tired, some are wired, most don't know that they exist.
Picture perfect life instead that is wanted by the masses.
All prone to life that's close to **** cause no one likes to give up chances.-JS
Sep 4, 2015
Sep 4, 2015 at 5:56 PM UTC
Staring out a window
just looking at LA.
Tribulations in our streets
I see them everyday.
People walking round
so misdirected
and I
share a common place.
Getting by day by day from some divining grace.-JS
Sep 2, 2015
Sep 2, 2015 at 6:15 PM UTC
whats it like
to have no one?
Have no one
be no one's son,
love no one
so no one loves,
drugs a bit
but who was drugs?
She's the answer
of who
who was.
She was who?
a constant buzz,
buzzing around
a constant bug,
bugging for thoughts
but wheres the bud?
Budding up crops
of regretted hugs,
hugging the lost
to share the grudge,
grudging the thought
of being judged,
judging yourself
cause there's no love.-JS
Sep 2, 2015
Sep 2, 2015 at 6:01 PM UTC
I feel you, I really do.
Guess what my father wasn't there too,
a bunch of substitutes but no one solid.
A bunch of institutes couldn't give me solace.
You'll wonder about fishing
and camping trips too.
You'll wonder about shaving
or using a tool.
You'll learn from your friends
some of the above,
then you'll learn on your own
and feel so unloved.
You'll get into trouble
and a couple of fights,
you're living and learning
its the way of life.
No worries though,
I'm here to tell you,
If you give it you're best they'll see the value.
So don't fret my boy for I am you, keep faith stay strong and you'll make it through.-JS
Sep 2, 2015
Sep 2, 2015 at 5:52 PM UTC
How can I write what i cant remember . . . . . .
As the days go by memories are rendered . . . . . .
Stolen through time . . . . . .
Leaving me dismembered . . . . . .
-JS
Sep 1, 2015
Sep 1, 2015 at 7:59 PM UTC
Like a rose she smells so sweet,
but the petals fall as winter meets.
Cause right now there's a timely snow,
oh how I wish her love would hold.
The pretty rose buried below,
and now my heart seems oh so cold.
Knowing that her love has froze,
leaving colored rose of dull.
The scary thing to feel inside
is when the sun shines bright outside.
Will this rose from that sun hide?
Has the love just gone and died?
Will the sun search higher tides?
To find out why it sets to rise?-JS
Sep 1, 2015
Sep 1, 2015 at 4:56 PM UTC
Suddenly words were reality
and the creases around her lips
were like two beautiful
(Parentheses).
De-emphasizing the emotion
that will come shortly after
feeling the warmth behind her kiss.-JS
Sep 1, 2015
Sep 1, 2015 at 4:46 PM UTC