Felt the sun set before
For a different reason than now
Lately, setting again
But with invitatory manner
And my age shows how
Basic movement becomes a chore
Yet I haven't grown to fear
Time's advance anymore.
My life has ended at least two times now
But my life is not the one I end up worried about
For a long time, I've not been a single entity
Two that rely on me
A third that's far removed from me
The orange light from my window lingers
Reminding me of the cycle
That I've been here before
And so afraid of what would change
But I've been here all the while
And I know this life could be hers
Also, none of this will matter
When we become famous singers.
Apr 22
Apr 22, 2026 at 9:00 PM UTC
Time warp
The years melting away and I feel
Restored
For the moment at least with nostalgic
Memories
Pride in never forgetting
It's a lie
Locked away, they're forgotten time.
Everything I loved, only if, in love, remembered
Or some trauma, indicted, and sentenced to the subconscious
Might the roles be reversed, and my memory be hindered
The nights are more real
When the days don't seem to want us.
Guilt no longer necessary to weather time's natural erosion.
Knowing and lost
And words I can't remember
Always slipping away
Into natural disorder
Easy to dismiss now
The recalling becomes a chore
And, in entropy, rests
Never to return to order
But somehow being re-triggered out of nowhere
The light is on
The switch is flipped
Disorder is gone
And a memory is tripped
Old habits return
For a moment, maybe more
Then lost to the sea
Of nostalgia, and ignored.
To resurface again
Out of entropic disintegration
And unceremoniously return
To a chaotic sleep.
Mar 2
Mar 2, 2026 at 9:37 AM UTC
"What is this? Something new.
So I have no need of you
But my plan will follow through
And for that, once more, I'll use you
But I'll get a taste again, I never thought I'd be able
Plan A fell through
For Plan B, I will settle.
Until I get what I really want
I don't think I can wait
So I cast you aside
Only after I've made this mistake...
Keep you on the side until your usefulness ends.
One more bill until I let it end.
I take what I wanted
For what I've waited
Covert trysts intoxicated
My backup plan, no longer needed.
But the consequence I had failed to keep abated.
After desires have been sated.
I led you on, so happy that I was able
Until my confidence and Plan B were on the table.
The morning after, no concern if you are stable.
Things don't change
Time to move on from this fable."
Jun 16, 2025
Jun 16, 2025 at 7:44 PM UTC
I have no reason why,
The selfish, in vain, take hold
Of a hope that cannot die,
It’s really getting old
But letting go doesn’t seem to be
In the cards, i can’t play it
On the tip of a thought,
An answer, i can’t say it
And the limits imposed
by the lack of understanding
Makes acceptance the course
And of course, I’m not accepting
Struggling in vain, there’s no other way
Can i at least believe they know i remember.
Nothing i could do
but to Watch, and to pray
Until returning our bodies to clay
I try too hard somehow, without ever even trying
Fruitless is the hand offering semblance to the dying
The greatest minds can't find the cure
What offer could i proffer here
That wouldn't requisite a dejected tear...
In vain, or in vanity
Selfishness or insanity?
No control over desire to
Defeat this infirmity
Should be left to the learned
It's hard to trust the tried.
I couldn’t agree more
On nights like tonight.
Jun 9, 2025
Jun 9, 2025 at 8:19 PM UTC
Another cycle come and gone
of invasive crap chewing out the inside of my skull
armor of stoicism, nagging need to atone
I could let you know, but i'll leave it alone
I am used to it now, just waiting it out
Sometimes it takes longer, sometimes the doubt is stronger
Nothing, really, that you've brought on
You'd know it if i showed you
Because you do it too
Nagging untrustworthy thoughts that come to you
You might wanna talk, if you do I will listen
And tell you what's real
or officious cognition
Might add to my burdens, i don't care
if it's hurtin'
If none of it's true, then there's nothing we're learnin'
I'll work it all out
And get rid of this doubt
Without forcing you to see the man behind the curtain
I've been here so much and I know how it works
It passes
And acknowledging it just makes it worse
Coerced into talking compromises my temperance
Your fortitude, will be all that's between a rock and a remanent
If it's working for you,
Then you don't need to worry about it
May 27, 2025
May 27, 2025 at 8:11 AM UTC
Happy and happy to see you again!
Lets do all the things!
'Cause it really means,
Alot that your here right now!
Your energy doesn't seem to match mine right now.
So now, I don't believe you.
Why can I not believe you.
I want to.
Not burden you.
If you had other things to do.
I didn't want to bother you.
I'm not?
This charade's not new.
Poisoned by fronts of individuals politely
agreeing, playing along with excitement.
Later, to others "Well, he seemed so excited.
I didn't want to hurt his feelings."
Weathered trust from little white lies,
Of people who only wish to disguise,
Their discontent
With your interests
And you reflect their intent
And become the serpent
Of frilly well meaning "I tried"s
Mar 29, 2021
Mar 29, 2021 at 12:17 PM UTC
Lament, in a bubble. A ghost at sea
Memories, entombed, as specters
The portrait of your apology,
This scene, now your Legacy
Whispering under waves Forever:
"Remember me"
Mar 17, 2021
Mar 17, 2021 at 1:21 PM UTC
Used to be in awe of the sky.
Laying out between it and the ground.
Never regarding that “up” i must find,
While most of it is obscured.
When i try to look down.
It’s there, but hidden,
by the ground.
And it’s not as if it cant be seen if you wait,
Six months pass,
Then seven,
Then Eight,
Nine and Ten, and before i realize,
The stars return how they previously aligned.
A missed opportunity, another year gone by
But something must give, I’ll sit and wait.
On the beach, in a tree
And see what i seek
But forget where i am.
“Come on grandpa, its time to go in.
Tomorrow you can sit on the back porch again.”
Mar 5, 2021
Mar 5, 2021 at 10:40 AM UTC
It’s been a while, and I thought you were done.
But now what’s begun
I’ve feared from the beginning.
I left to lessen the kindling ablaze,
But old embers stay.
Slowly burning the saplings.
A new fire burns. Slowly at first,
And the smoldering vitriol only gets worse.
And compounds the agony of those you protect,
And you shade them from the rain’s effect,
As any influence not yours, you reject.
I expect-
-That you’re unaware of this fact-
That rampant lies of fire breathing beasts,
Will burn the trusting.
So stop it.
Please.
Mar 1, 2021
Mar 1, 2021 at 8:27 AM UTC
A change well beyond my normal ways
Has taken hold these past few days
And, to be fair, It's only for play
But it impacts me, unexpectedly.
The perfect form! Admittedly,
it is so only to me.
But, to be fair, it helps me see
How I believe I would like to be.
Her personality is exactly me.
Which proves I love myself for real.
But, to be fair
This is me,
If I were to be fair.
She makes me want to be healthy,
She makes me think that I can be,
Me
And see
That I want to be,
Fair, for someone else.
Feb 28, 2021
Feb 28, 2021 at 12:57 PM UTC