I thought as I got older- wiser
life would make more sense
and that by now
I would have looked the big picture enough
to start to put the puzzle together.
I imagined myself,
sitting with a pile of edge pieces,
separating the x shapes from the h shapes
putting them in their place.
Yet here I am
finally realizing that
I'm not even working on a puzzle
I just have a bunch of odd shapes in front of me
and they don't have to belong anywhere.
Mar 22, 2020
Mar 22, 2020 at 11:56 PM UTC
Maybe you should understand a few things
before you go playing with my heart
I've been through this quite a lot
so maybe it's really not smart.
I wont trust you so easily
in fact I'm already suspicious
and I'm chronically lonely
So don't recklessly steal kisses
I have no more energy left
So please don't play games
I've already been sighing
at the sound of your name
Its too late,
I'm already entangled in your mess
so remember my heart aches,
please do your best.
Nov 6, 2015
Nov 6, 2015 at 4:02 AM UTC
He begged me to keep him company
but did he really need me?
Or did his gentleman like composure
simply crack under pressure.
The way he held me,
he seemed so strong.
I felt so delicate in that moment
but he crushed me in his arms.
Now I watch him every day
being everything I want
But that's the problem with me
I just ignore every bodies flaws
He took advantage of me
Until I knew something was wrong
He's not lonely anymore
But he was never very strong.
Nov 6, 2015
Nov 6, 2015 at 3:44 AM UTC
I watched a woman
get her kids off the bus
This afternoon around 3:30
And I thought about
what kind of woman I was going to be
She looked very dainty and sweet
And I can be bitter sometimes
And I realized I'm deathly afraid
That someday I'll make my kids cry.
Apr 13, 2015
Apr 13, 2015 at 11:18 PM UTC
I’ve been sitting at the park by the lake watching lovers and lonely people pass by and at coffee shops reading that book you always talk about thinking to myself how often my mind drifts to the days you've made me feel weightless and that all I want to do is tell you how I feel but love these days is twisted and the worst thing you can do is admit that you care more and that really destroys me because I could really care less if I’m the one that fell harder. I would turn my world upside down for a sliver of time by your side. It would be wonderful to be swept off my feet by you even if it knocks me to the ground.
Apr 13, 2015
Apr 13, 2015 at 6:25 PM UTC
Push and pull
Like waves crashing against my chest
I crave to be free
But I'm not done with you yet
I feel my body
drifting wildly out to sea
Set to wash up on shore
Of some distant southern beach
But I look back for a second
Start to grab for his hand
And he pulls me down under
Will this be the end?
I long for adventure
or do I want to drown in him
How can you decide
If you're going to sink or swim?
Apr 13, 2015
Apr 13, 2015 at 3:54 PM UTC
His name is the aftertaste
Of slowly sipped red wine
Trying to forget the feeling
Of being in love and vulnerable
Knowing your heart
Could shatter into a thousand pieces
At the mercy of a few words
His touch is old love renewed
Soft and dangerous
The kind of thrill that makes you nostalgic
A thousand heartbreaks
Dug up and re-brewed
His lips taste as bitter as old love
And as sweet as the memories
That with it came along
And gently they kiss you
like the way he’d hold fragile glass
Determined to not press too firmly
Causing you to shatter in his grasp
He’s the impossible kind of love
That never forgets you
no matter how long
or far
or stubborn
or dumb
He’s the kind of drunk
That’s hangs over the next morning
And pounds at your head
With memories of relentless love
Hoping you’ll find him in your bed
Apr 10, 2015
Apr 10, 2015 at 10:18 PM UTC
I wonder why
all the poems I write
Are composed at
the mercy of lovers
And why my lovers
can't be the green grass
that peaks out of
melting snowbanks
in early spring
Or the first sip
of coffee at 8 a.m.
on a mellow Saturday morning
in a cafe next to the lake.
Why do we choose
to rest our weary hearts
on things we can't depend on
When we know that the grass
will appear every spring
and we can sip our coffee
and the sun will rise
and the lake will be full
and so will our hearts
If only we requested
simple things to thrive
We could sip coffee with lovers
Next to the lake
At 8 a.m.
And not feel such pain.
Apr 8, 2015
Apr 8, 2015 at 11:36 PM UTC
Don't assume I am bitter
Because you have free reign
Over the barren fields
That I once perceived to be fruitful
Don't seem yourself high and mighty
Because I once sighed the life
out of my own breath
into a dead recipient, thinking
that there was hope for rebirth
and you are now exhaling
your dark soul into his
and he reciprocates
When in reality,
death clings to itself.
So I am not mourning
that his sorrow did not cling to my joy
And stain it with death black spots.
Tears do not well in my eyes
because the sun and the moon
are on opposites sides of the earth
and it keeps revolving just the same
Apr 8, 2015
Apr 8, 2015 at 11:18 PM UTC