Its strange the way a rose tinted gaze
Can make undoing look like salvation
Like the way you embedded yourself
in my being was holy and not the first
Signs of me rotting from the inside
My grins were all deceptive shiny wax
At the first touch of pristine white teeth
I crumble
Mar 27
Mar 27, 2026 at 10:22 AM UTC
San Diego sun reigns clement
like a merciful dictator;
cloaked in cumulus breath
It’s hesitant rays
fight to break through the overwhelming grey;
as I stand submerged
in swaying waves
Waiting for the next violent embrace to come
and take my air away-
like a larcener
but I was the one who stepped into the water
We drift like submissive vagrants
At the will of the sea’s omniscience
Our freedom is acceptance
Embodying void runners;
delighting in our own nescience
Balloons of child-like joy
popping in our chests
As waves mature and crest;
we grow restive
When we face their wrath
we dive under, through, evade
We submerge ourselves
in the deafening stillness;
grasping for a way
to relinquish our buoyancy
Surface in time to hear
the dying noises of lulls
as people are dragged back to shores
What a cruel rhythm this is
And yet still,
we inch deeper into the depths;
hoping we will never have to leave this feeling
Avoidant ecstasy is an oxygen thief
And yet, miraculously
We drag ourselves up
They say young bodies bounce back easily
So you let yourself get bruised
and keep coming back for more;
because doesn’t happiness always have a price in a world this broken
Then we curl up on the sand;
a reprieve from ourselves
where the only sensation
is scalding rays; burning.
Cleansing.
Baking in the sun
like half cooked bread yet to rise; unfinished
The bursting ice cream flavors
still simmering on our tongues
like new beginnings
We get driven home in a large van,
its wobbly;
shaking on the bumpy road;
the size of a small house and a home within itself
We wash the day away;
salt crusted hair
and sun screen slathered skin
Swirling down the drain
in a whirlpool of youth and San Diego lifeblood
the small moments of laughter,
of stillness;
that second before submersion
Little things I’m scared I’ll forget;
scrubbed away with the sand on my elbows
At night, in the sun’s vacillation
We whisper words too delicate to be said
in the brilliance of daybreak
Necks cradled by soft cotton covered feathers
and even softer murmurs;
body heat enveloping us
We sink into our sanctuary
and push away
all the weight of reality;
ignoring the rigid beds beneath us
We chose to exist in this lulling state;
floating forever
Inevitably,
We sink back to the earth;
our feet grounded on the dank school floor
and not the San Diego sand
All good things come to an end, don’t they?
And the pain of endings
is similar to that of drowning;
you lose all air,
all of a sudden; stolen
Soon you will instead be submerged
in homework, essays, calculations
You’ll have to text back your parents and
Count down the days
until your next revival
Mar 24
Mar 24, 2026 at 10:31 AM UTC