with your hateful eyes
and your evil mind
with sinning hands
you took the time
to make me feel useless
to made me feel numb
thumbs trace fingers
fingers trace thumbs
you outlined my jaw
with your soft kept hand
while you told me you wanted
to feel like a man
you never asked
if you could
if I said no
we know you would
you called me comely
you called me kind
you made me lose
my ******* mind
you made me ache
I was an abductee
you absolutely
dehumanized me
Nov 19, 2014
Nov 19, 2014 at 1:55 AM UTC
as you spoke those words
a red vineyard
began to bloom from my wrist
you swore you weren't an alcohol man
however you took the time
to ensure my red vineyard
grew strong.
pruning and thinning
my patience and trust
using palissage
to train me into believing
my feeble mind
would believe simple kind
words said from my angel dressed in navy
my viticulturist, my sweet
you have taken the time
to acquire a taste for me
but in that
you have ruined my taste
for everyone else
aspersion played a role
I thought you'd never allow
and in that
you have turned my saccharine wine
into bitter blood
Jan 29, 2014
Jan 29, 2014 at 3:11 AM UTC
not 26
nor 28
or even a Russian 33
will ever be enough
to explain
just how much
I love you
Oct 22, 2013
Oct 22, 2013 at 3:46 AM UTC
I love your curves play over and over
in my small schoolgirl brain.
everyone says i'm stupid to listen
to the things you tell me
because they are simply
"what I want to hear"
but these folks, these "friends",
they only read the lyrics
as opposed to listening to the song
they see the words but hear no beat
they read on the lines, not between them
they see graffiti on a concrete wall, when those spray paint scribbles are truly art
and sometimes it takes tilting your head to the left,
standing on one foot,
and closing your right eye
to see the beauty of what you say
and do
when you see the art of the spray paint that is my soul,
when you hear the sing-song of the way he calls me beautiful,
when the words are truly believed to be true, and not hollow spikes of sound
you understand
Sep 10, 2013
Sep 10, 2013 at 3:42 AM UTC
I remember
when you used to call
I remember
when you stopped
I remember
when I became funny
I remember
when you didn’t let it go
I remember
when you turned
I remember
when you told me to **** myself
I remember
when you laughed when I tried
I absolutely believe in god
because I’ve experienced the devil
and he lies
in every inch of you
Aug 15, 2013
Aug 15, 2013 at 12:39 AM UTC
happy is
what happy does
but I just don't know
what happiness is
anymore
Jul 1, 2013
Jul 1, 2013 at 6:40 PM UTC
I refuse to come second
to someone so repellant and small
and I refuse to be told
I will never stand tall
I refuse to let him
push me around
and I refuse to feed his smile
with my poor, pathetic frowns
I refuse for you to stand
and think it's okay
and I refuse for you to see
me any other day
I refuse this friendship
and I refuse this home
what I ever saw in you
will become unknown
but you don't refuse
you pick and you choose
so it shouldn't be news
that I give up
Jun 16, 2013
Jun 16, 2013 at 8:22 PM UTC
I cannot got a day or so
without thinking of the monster within
she likes to come and play with me
and thank me for my sins
she thanks me for forgetting you
and thanks me for my slashes
she thanks me for keeping her alive
with all my fatal crashes
“thank you for cutting deep” she says
“thank you for yelling, too
your friends will not forgive you now
it’ll just be me and you”
yes her and I will always be
together standing strong
my quiet little demon
who I always drag along
she says she’s glad I’m feeling sick
she’s glad I’m doing bad
“this is good for you and I
I’m only here when you’re sad”
she tells the truth, I know it’s true
this dark demon of mine
her name is lady depression
she’s around from time-to-time
when I feel very low
she shows up at my door
with razor blades and hand grenades
ready for much more
she encourages me to stop eating
yes, she’ll take my plate away
she kindly holds and cleans my blades
while I prepare my veins
if I begin to feel alright
if I begin to feel okay
she becomes sick and sad
and starts to fade away
for little lady only stays
when weak minds are unwell
you need to feel big and strong
to get her to dispel
I know you like to live with me
and love to give me flack
but I need you to leave forever
please do not come back
Jun 16, 2013
Jun 16, 2013 at 1:36 AM UTC
i've always wondered
is denial fun?
do you not consider my feelings?
do you think that I have none?
placing the blame on others
no responsibility for yourself
you may feel high-powered
but you stunt my health
you stunt my growth of social skills
you stunt my mouth of smiles
you stunt my heart from growing strong
when it's already so fragile
your innocence is nothing to you
but it's the world to everyone else
my feelings will never be considered
you will never care for my health
so it's okay, I've come to learn
that you are not for me
I'll remember how you've made me feel
I'll keep this feeling deep
deep down inside my twisted mind
deep down below my soul
deep down to the bottom of my heart
where you have left a hole
a hole where love used to lie
a hole that once was full
a hole where you respected me
and wouldn't let me go
Jun 15, 2013
Jun 15, 2013 at 9:33 PM UTC
don't be concerned
that I'm cutting again
be concerned
that I can't feel the blade
Jun 14, 2013
Jun 14, 2013 at 11:56 PM UTC