The skeleton on my shirt that matches
The pain in my head as
Letters pop up on my phone I cannot read
From here
Behind me and
The more I fight my medication that
Whispers to me
"Sleep. Morning will come. The day is done. Smile."
But
The more I fidget and
The more I write and
The more I cry has it
Screaming to me and
I faint knowing I am nothing more than
Pills in bottles.
Sep 13, 2017
Sep 13, 2017 at 9:28 PM UTC
There was this time in middle school when
I kissed a guy and shouldn't have
And left someone and didn't tell them
Acted ****** up when I wasn't
Now I am
(It hurts so bad)
Fell in love
Destroyed myself
Contemplated, contemplate, contemplating
Cried in the high school bathroom over some guy that didn't matter
Took Tylenol without food
Never stole anything
Should've stolen something
Kept everything a secret
Didn't stand my ground
Was too forceful
Lost myself in the lost and found
Yes. Many things.
But it doesn't matter now that it's over and
Done.
Aug 23, 2017
Aug 23, 2017 at 1:01 AM UTC
I am a sheep herder
Everything I say is as feed to a dead horse.
I whisper sweet lullabies with a deep guttural sound
That frightens, yet knows the solemnity of the sky.
I cry to a field of pale auspicious clouds
Then feel the tingling fall and accelerating answer.
Much have I seen in the break of days,
Growth always came after cultivation,
And fields were full of nothing.
How all things stay in similarity and change into variety.
But I am a sheep herder,
And I have no sheep.
May 14, 2017
May 14, 2017 at 11:00 PM UTC
I'm alone here
I'm alone
Would you just stop
WOULD YOU JUST STOP AND LISTEN TO ME!
I'm alone
And I just repeat that again and again and AGAIN
And it always seems to be true
And I keep thinking
I think I think and I THINK
But nothing seems to happen
We're trapped
WE ARE TRAPPED
And yet I'm free to roam
You're free to go
You're free to go just go JUST GO
But I'm running away
From what from who FROM WHERE
Freedom freedom freedom OY
Freedom freedom freedom OY
Quit pestering me
Quit it YOURE NOT EVEN HERE
I wish I could go
I need an adventure
I need to go
GET AWAY FROM ME
Oh god HOW DO THEY DO IT
blank memories
blank thoughts
empty files
empty plot
scared frozen
scared free
scared forever
scared me
Meds meds meds
Drugs drugs brain
Empty clear fuzzy
Gone
Apr 2, 2017
Apr 2, 2017 at 1:11 AM UTC
Little girl:
Your lilac halo boasts wild days,
Yet your eyes, earthy and bold,
Whisper soft melodies of sweet innocence.
Little girl:
The bird on your shoulder shouts confidence,
Yet fidit... figi... fidgeting hands
Scramble days of rotten terror.
Little girl:
Be true to yourself;
We know who you are
We know you better.
You're not who you claim to be,
Despite all your changes.
Little girl:
Shut up.
Be still.
Be innocent.
Be what we want you to be,
Because all you are
Is what we make you to be.
Mar 27, 2017
Mar 27, 2017 at 10:38 PM UTC
College applications are done
Acceptance acceptance... acceptance
Fill out forms
You're in, that's good
Recommendation letters
A b r e e z e
But oh dear.
Scholarships.
They need what now?
SS what's that Number again?
AndohmyGodifIhavetowritemyname
O N E M O R E T I M E
You have my email!
Address upon address,
didn't I just look at this?
IT DIDN'T SAVE.
Start again.
Breathe.
College will be
as the applications.
Easy?
Jan 30, 2017
Jan 30, 2017 at 6:42 PM UTC
I guess you could say,
I'm a little broken.
I'm a little hurt.
I'm a little angry.
But I know the pain will go away.
I'll smile again.
You'll become a distant memory.
But you are part two
Of an epic tragedy
That once filled the space in my chest.
Jan 6, 2017
Jan 6, 2017 at 11:54 PM UTC
My hope is to find comfort in words
More kind in nature than what they have heard,
Our two little angel Timberwolves.
Their hearts were so full
And impact so great-
Just seeing them smile was a blessing-
That goodbye was not something you said,
It was "see you later,"
For a promise of seeing them again.
None of us saw it,
There was nothing we could do,
But now we play every moment in our heads
Hoping to find a way to save them.
But all I play now are the happy moments:
The ones I heard them laugh,
Saw them smile,
And had them in my presence,
Even for a moment.
All we can do now is cling to the hope of seeing them again.
All we have is each other.
We must hold on to each other,
Make them proud,
And do everything we can in the memories of them.
Nov 2, 2016
Nov 2, 2016 at 10:43 PM UTC
I feel like an adult,
An adult is what I am.
Responsibilities,
Someone to come home to,
A paycheck,
I have it all
And more.
The desire to start my life
Is palpable,
The strongest feeling I've had,
Yet still so far.
I'm not done being a child,
A child is what I am.
Sep 30, 2016
Sep 30, 2016 at 10:05 PM UTC
Last year
Of a new year
In a new place
In a new school.
Next year
In the first year
In a new place
In a new school.
Nothing changes.
Aug 22, 2016
Aug 22, 2016 at 9:17 PM UTC