i miss you in the morning
i miss you in the evening
i miss you when the leaves fall,
and when they grow again
i miss you while i'm working
i miss you while i'm idle
i miss you almost all the time
as though it never ends
i miss the way you'd call me
the day before my birthday
the first to say
enjoy your day
and that of me you're thinking
i wish you got to meet my son
his name is after you
"Sonny or sunny", people say
but either one is true
i miss the summers at your house
the season reminds me too
that i wish
the chance to say
one last "i love you"
Aug 14, 2020
Aug 14, 2020 at 10:48 AM UTC
memories,
they draw me in.
false promises and tales of what was
and what could’ve been.
my cup runs dry
but i drink anyway;
i drink it away.
i search for myself in a crowded room
i catch a glimpse of her,
but she leaves too soon.
who i was
and who i am,
staring at the back
of who i could’ve been
Jul 28, 2020
Jul 28, 2020 at 5:49 PM UTC
ever since our weary start,
you were nothing to me but a replacement.
your words once kind and fluent,
soon turned as sour and cold as the heart that fills
the cavity in your chest.
you drank liquor like you've been in the desert for nine years
and it's the only thing that will resolve your thirst.
so methodical and precise with your consumption
you didn't even bat an eye when i cleaned the mess
because you couldn't begin to function.
love and attachment
so similar but
so was the way i felt about you
compared to the way i felt about dying.
you were my easy out-
but you were without a doubt the reason
for the cloud of gray that blocked the ray of sunshine
that shown from within my heart.
i would never blame you for it
while reveling in your embrace
but one day i finally opened my eyes
to really see the person who was staring me in the face.
you used me like a rag in the kitchen,
tossing me away when you got what you wanted
i know you loved me somewhere inside
but your insides were cursed where the alcohol haunted.
an insatiable need to get away from yourself
only drove our love away in the end
so go ahead and fill up your cup
i hope it was worth it
for what you gave up.
Nov 26, 2016
Nov 26, 2016 at 5:12 AM UTC
the boy with eyes
as blue as the sea
came into my world
of black and white
and flourished it
with colors
unimaginable.
the boy with eyes
as blue as the sea
held out his hand for me
and on we went
to beautiful places
that finally opened
my tired eyes.
the boy with eyes
as blue as the sea
planted flowers in my heart
that spread through my veins
and have stayed ever since.
but
the flowers have grown thorns
and the boy with eyes
as blue as the sea
left my world
and took the colors
with him.
Oct 8, 2015
Oct 8, 2015 at 4:42 PM UTC
before
i used to think
i couldn't get addicted to anything
but when i see you smile
before you kiss me
i found myself awake at 3 AM the next morning
craving nothing but you
and that moment
after
like waves in the ocean
you crashed against my shore
only to recede away
now i'm stuck
on this miserable beach
waiting for your wave
to come crashing again
Oct 6, 2015
Oct 6, 2015 at 1:46 PM UTC
i remember, as a child
when my eyes would well up with tears,
i "felt small", as i would call it.
it was merely just the liquid
distorting my vision,
and making the ground seem closer
and my body, smaller.
i had forgotten about that memory
until your favorite song came on
while i was in the backseat
of my friend's car.
that same feeling washed over me
as the tears sprung to my eyes
and i looked down,
and i grew smaller
and smaller
and
smaller
until i disappeared.
Mar 16, 2014
Mar 16, 2014 at 11:57 PM UTC
i asked you what you wanted;
you simply replied -
"anything you think i deserve",
like it was anything less than obvious.
but you see, my dear
that puts me at a loss
as you deserve much better
than i could ever dream
of giving you.
Feb 9, 2014
Feb 9, 2014 at 7:30 PM UTC
the you
that resides in my head
is the one i fell in love with.
the you
that resides in my head
knows exactly what to say
on those horrible nights
where i am tempted
by an inch long piece of metal.
the you
that resides in my head
holds my hand when i'm sad,
and even when i'm not.
he smiles when he kisses me
and whispers sweet things in my ear
like "you're so beautiful,"
or "i'm so glad i found you."
the you
that resides in my head
stays up with me until sunrise
talking about our hopes,
dreams,
fears,
and secrets we thought we'd never tell.
he lets me lay my head on his chest
while he absentmindedly runs his fingers
through my hair.
but worst of all
the you that resides in my head
is merely a figment of my untamed imagination
the you that really exists
would never do any of that.
at least, not with me.
Jan 26, 2014
Jan 26, 2014 at 8:04 PM UTC
just shut
the
****
up
everyone.
i don't need
your half-assed,
*********** sympathy.
all i need is silence.
from you
and from my mind.
from everything.
make the world stop
for a minute-
for just a ******* minute.
that's all i need.
a minute
of silence
for myself
to relax.
to get away from
all this
stress,
sadness
and anxiety.
to get away
from all the constant nagging,
the constant ********
that comes out of everyone's mouth.
i don't need it.
i don't need any of it.
all i want,
all i need
is a minute
of silence.
Oct 18, 2013
Oct 18, 2013 at 10:08 PM UTC
i know one day
when someone brings me up
you'll say
"sorry, i've never met her."
we'll both know
that that's a lie,
but like the hypocrite i am,
i'll do the same
when asked about you.
however,
i did nothing to you
yet you cringe when you think of me,
when i'm brought up,
when you see me,
like i was the one who hurt
you.
who ripped your heart out
and left a gaping hole
that was filled
with late night sobs,
alcohol,
and cuts on your wrists.
you ******* lie
all the time
about what really happened
between us.
like you're ashamed
that you felt something
for someone as ****** up
and ugly
and pitiful
as me.
well here's a news flash for you,
you can't escape the past
i'm not the best thing
that's ever happened to you
but i know i'm **** sure
not the worst
and no matter
what you say
you know
deep down
when you wrapped
your arms around me
as we laid in my bed,
it wasn't just for my benefit.
Oct 16, 2013
Oct 16, 2013 at 6:47 PM UTC