emillee-goodwin - Hello Poetry

One last phone call Then you were gone Trying to make sense of it But no sense came at all. Your smile and joy You decided to quit however I know it was all a decoy Your heart was broken you felt so low You tried so hard many words unspoken I know you are watching And keeping guard Life is all good like you always said Until we meet again Be proud of all you withstood I’ll send my love up there instead.

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Sep 9, 2020

Sep 9, 2020 at 11:18 AM UTC

“Life is all good”

One last phone call Then you were gone Trying to make sense of it But no sense came at all. Your smile and joy You decided to quit however I know it was all a decoy Your heart was broken you felt so low You tried so hard many words unspoken I know you are watching And keeping guard Life is all good like you always said Until we meet again Be proud of all you withstood I’ll send my love up there instead.

19

11 years You paused You couldn’t continue. I miss you Your smiling face Forever remembered.

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Sep 9, 2020

Sep 9, 2020 at 10:33 AM UTC

Remembering You

11 years You paused You couldn’t continue. I miss you Your smiling face Forever remembered.

6

Nice to meet you It’s not nice to meet you. You’re just another one. Another one what? That’s ok, I’m just glad you came. Another person to promise me things Another person to let me down. I didn’t want to. I know you didn’t want to. I’m sorry people have let you down. I can’t promise I won’t. I’ll do my best. You want to know my life story I have to repeat it again. When will this stop. I hate you. No, you tell me what you want. What do you need now? You can hate me. But I don’t hate you. I don’t want to take the pills. They make my head foggy. I need to sleep. I need food. I’m hungry. Why don’t you hate me. Everyone else does. Who is everyone? I think you are very brave. Why don’t you sleep then? You are safe here. Brave. How am I brave? People are watching me. I can’t sleep. Not safe. Because you asked for help. You are safe. I’m watching you yes. To keep you safe. Here’s a sandwich. Eat. Then sleep. Are you cold? I don’t want to. You don’t get it. I haven’t eaten for days. You are nice. Not cold. But I haven’t showered for days. Well shower. That’s your room. I don’t get it. You are right But I know you are exhausted. Here are some clean clothes. You are going to be ok. I promise How do you know it’s going to be ok? I am so tired. Will you watch me all night. I’m scared. I know you are. I’ll be here all night. Lay down now. Tomorrow will be better. It will get better. You will get better. I don’t hate you. The sand which was good. If you say so, I hope so. Goodnight. Sleep well, goodnight.

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Jan 13, 2020

Jan 13, 2020 at 8:56 AM UTC

Better

Nice to meet you It’s not nice to meet you. You’re just another one. Another one what? That’s ok, I’m just glad you came. Another person to promise me things Another person to let me down. I didn’t want to. I know you didn’t want to. I’m sorry people have let you down. I can’t promise I won’t. I’ll do my best. You want to know my life story I have to repeat it again. When will this stop. I hate you. No, you tell me what you want. What do you need now? You can hate me. But I don’t hate you. I don’t want to take the pills. They make my head foggy. I need to sleep. I need food. I’m hungry. Why don’t you hate me. Everyone else does. Who is everyone? I think you are very brave. Why don’t you sleep then? You are safe here. Brave. How am I brave? People are watching me. I can’t sleep. Not safe. Because you asked for help. You are safe. I’m watching you yes. To keep you safe. Here’s a sandwich. Eat. Then sleep. Are you cold? I don’t want to. You don’t get it. I haven’t eaten for days. You are nice. Not cold. But I haven’t showered for days. Well shower. That’s your room. I don’t get it. You are right But I know you are exhausted. Here are some clean clothes. You are going to be ok. I promise How do you know it’s going to be ok? I am so tired. Will you watch me all night. I’m scared. I know you are. I’ll be here all night. Lay down now. Tomorrow will be better. It will get better. You will get better. I don’t hate you. The sand which was good. If you say so, I hope so. Goodnight. Sleep well, goodnight.

51

I dream of being a child again The child runs around flying a kite Yelling and screaming laughter butterflies in many colours flying by The child tries to trap them and giggles If I could just be that child again

0

Jan 13, 2020

Jan 13, 2020 at 8:32 AM UTC

Innocent

I dream of being a child again The child runs around flying a kite Yelling and screaming laughter butterflies in many colours flying by The child tries to trap them and giggles If I could just be that child again

6

I am down and out. I stay in my safe place. I try to convince myself I’m not hiding In fact I hide because I’m afraid Afraid of things I’ll do if I go out. I’m so strong but right now I’m nothing. I feel like the world is suffocating me No one understands, they can’t cope When I am not myself. I carry everything I smile I talk. When I don’t people flee they disappear Where are my people, I need you I’m trying but I feel tied down. Everything hurts everything doesn’t make sense. I can’t be strong all the time. I am not. I feel down and I feel like escaping.

0

Jan 13, 2020

Jan 13, 2020 at 8:30 AM UTC

Hiding

I am down and out. I stay in my safe place. I try to convince myself I’m not hiding In fact I hide because I’m afraid Afraid of things I’ll do if I go out. I’m so strong but right now I’m nothing. I feel like the world is suffocating me No one understands, they can’t cope When I am not myself. I carry everything I smile I talk. When I don’t people flee they disappear Where are my people, I need you I’m trying but I feel tied down. Everything hurts everything doesn’t make sense. I can’t be strong all the time. I am not. I feel down and I feel like escaping.

16

This is me Raw emotion It's like if it was possible I could rip my body open and show the pain running around like blood flows through veins and arteries To open my mouth and scream and for the air to fill my lungs without taking a breath so all the noise and anger goes soaring out I sit and stare I often catch myself not thinking just staring and then I wonder what caught my mind and all the tears start flowing My body aches it's exhausted not in a tired way but just where everything just feels it's too much to cope with I don't want to deal with anything at all I hate this me I want to switch off Stop feeling Just for a day

0

Nov 18, 2016

Nov 18, 2016 at 6:25 AM UTC

Raw Emotion

This is me Raw emotion It's like if it was possible I could rip my body open and show the pain running around like blood flows through veins and arteries To open my mouth and scream and for the air to fill my lungs without taking a breath so all the noise and anger goes soaring out I sit and stare I often catch myself not thinking just staring and then I wonder what caught my mind and all the tears start flowing My body aches it's exhausted not in a tired way but just where everything just feels it's too much to cope with I don't want to deal with anything at all I hate this me I want to switch off Stop feeling Just for a day

10

As you watch the water glisten. The Moon shines and shows. The beauty of life as I sit here and think of how life would be diving in and forgetting the world. The innocent submerge the rocking the swaying. I think of the sea world the sharks and whales and fish they seem so insignificant so unhurtful. To just be and be one and to feel. Would that not just be the most unbelievable feeling in the world. To feel. And to know.

0

Nov 12, 2016

Nov 12, 2016 at 6:26 AM UTC

Sea

As you watch the water glisten. The Moon shines and shows. The beauty of life as I sit here and think of how life would be diving in and forgetting the world. The innocent submerge the rocking the swaying. I think of the sea world the sharks and whales and fish they seem so insignificant so unhurtful. To just be and be one and to feel. Would that not just be the most unbelievable feeling in the world. To feel. And to know.

3

When the only thing you've ever known breaks in front of you, When your heart is grieving, so full of love, it hurts, it shatters, There is no one to fault, no one to put the blame, just raw emotion, There are no words, just tears of pain and anguish, not a life has been lost

0

Nov 10, 2016

Nov 10, 2016 at 10:59 PM UTC

Lost

When the only thing you've ever known breaks in front of you, When your heart is grieving, so full of love, it hurts, it shatters, There is no one to fault, no one to put the blame, just raw emotion, There are no words, just tears of pain and anguish, not a life has been lost

4

My heart broke in two. You didn't mean too It's no ones fault No ones to blame Shattered and confused You are our role models And now you're apart I don't understand We always thought you'd be together I guess life isn't perfect You will always be our parents New memories, new traditions Our love will never stop My heart still hurts One day I might get it For now I'll just trust

0

Nov 8, 2016

Nov 8, 2016 at 3:40 PM UTC

Separation.

My heart broke in two. You didn't mean too It's no ones fault No ones to blame Shattered and confused You are our role models And now you're apart I don't understand We always thought you'd be together I guess life isn't perfect You will always be our parents New memories, new traditions Our love will never stop My heart still hurts One day I might get it For now I'll just trust

16

You were meant to be there Be there when I was little When I was a teenager Even when I became an adult. I know you were there But it didn't stop the bad things The bad things from happening I needed you to protect me I shouldn't blame you I know that everyday I just wanted you to fight I needed to hear you fight You were my protector At least my very first You'll never not be The one that I call I just wanted to know That you would be there When your little girl falls Always there to catch her Don't worry I've learnt You can't always protect me But you will always be My dad.

0

Apr 5, 2016

Apr 5, 2016 at 8:11 AM UTC

Always

You were meant to be there Be there when I was little When I was a teenager Even when I became an adult. I know you were there But it didn't stop the bad things The bad things from happening I needed you to protect me I shouldn't blame you I know that everyday I just wanted you to fight I needed to hear you fight You were my protector At least my very first You'll never not be The one that I call I just wanted to know That you would be there When your little girl falls Always there to catch her Don't worry I've learnt You can't always protect me But you will always be My dad.

24