when he was born, God knew his divine timing would be slower
like the way roots grow in soil-stability is his safe haven
with the energy of this earth guiding him
protecting him
shielding him
and putting walls around him. he quickly learned
slow and steady would be his saving grace
when he was born, the world knew his gentle mind would mature quicker than his heart
a mere child with wishful thinking and endless hope in ideas of Santa clause, and one day going to space
he is, but a simple Taurus man now, who I have fallen hopelessly in love with
a Taurus sun, Capricorn moon and rising, awakening with
my Leo sun, Scorpio Moon, and Virgo Rising
i cannot help but see the beauty in his soul
even when he cannot
his hands were not made to fight, but to hold my heart that i selfishly put in his hands
he still somehow said "i won't hurt you"
he was meant to create, and discover the mysteries of the universe through his touch
he's gently undressed my mind, seen the chaos
witnessed the whirlwind of my soul
and showed me how to slow down the tornado that was my spirit
into a gentle breeze that cools us after we make love
his arms are strong to protect me from anything the world throws at me
yet he carries all my sorrows, and pain
into the endless abyss of all the hurt and trauma the world has given us, and yet he chooses to help me toss out mine before his
his mind, a galaxy of thoughts all on its own
his soul travels everyday through Mercury, Jupiter and Venus faster than the speed of light
and comes back to earth to help those he loves
and although his walls are made of concrete
the water i am made out of has slipped through just enough
to poke his heart, look at his soul through his obsidian eyes to say
"hello"
"how was your day?"
"can i ask you something?"
"are you okay?"
"what is a star made out of?"
"what's your favorite food?"
"what was your mom like?"
"do you want to watch anime together?"
"you can do anything you believe in, i believe in you !"
"angel numbers are real, honey"
"kiss me"
"do you want to go to your room?"
"keep going"
"i'm so sorry"
"i love you, so much"
"do you want to go shopping"
"you love me?"
"i love you too, i love you so much"
"we'll do this together".
Aug 4, 2023
Aug 4, 2023 at 2:19 PM UTC
And how you ignore my every attempt to see your face,
hear your voice,
feel your tough..
It’s been years,
upon years, of emotional torment
And the thread tied between me and you is severed now
But I can’t help myself but to ask,
Why do you do that?
Why do you consistently show your soul to me in my dreams, only to ignore me, make it obvious you don't want me,
and more than anything
Why do I keep thinking you’ll come back to me?
Do I even want you back?
Sometimes I wonder if all those little quotes about love, loss, heartache, and all the things that make us human are true
How “if you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be”.
Thats insane ! That torture!
Thats inhuman to ever make anyone think it’s okay to let another live their life, and you sit patiently for them as yours goes by.
I loved you, very ******* much
I let you go, for many ******* years
But you never came back.
Was it really all my fault?
Did you really need to replace me so quick?
My mind knows now I don't want you,
I don’t need you
But my heart matured slower. It still thinks love is you, it feels that love is only you.
All it remembers was your safety, and feeling that your love was once
You gentleness
Your humor
Your touch
But that came from a boy who still didn’t know how to love someone, did it?
So why does my mind run back to you?
And where are you now?
Where have you gone/
Are you safe?
Are you happy?
Are you in love?
Do you feel the tug and pull on our connection too?
Does my soul drift into your dreams at night?
Do you ignore me then?
Am I still the same hurt, damaged, and unstable girl you met all those years ago?
Why did you ever love me back then, knowing all that I was, all that I’ve been through, why give me hope that I can be loved as I was,
To then turn around and call me crazy..
Our love is a distant memory,
one where the candle is just about the burn out.
All I ask of you, is to please not turn it back on. Let the love die, don’t be curious anymore, and let me cut the string between us.
Leave it up to the universe where our lives take us.
And if we ever meet again, I hope for you to see how healed I’ve become.
I hope our encounter in this world or the next treats us better. How we live out our dreams just as we spoke about all those sweet, naive teenage years ago.
I hope you learn to dream big,
I hope you are well,
This is the last time I will ever dream about you.
Goodbye.
Jan 23, 2023
Jan 23, 2023 at 5:04 PM UTC
I have never felt so alone until I stood next to my best friends, now lovers
Jealousy wasnt the issue, no
What I thought were feelings of falling in love were really just sibling love and care for both of them
But, as time passed on and I watched the world continue on, I realised that, Love isnt meant for everyone
Because in todays society it seems like the only ones finding their "other halfs" and I quote, are idiots too ignorant, too stubborn, too childish, too plainly dumb and inconsiderate that I am beyond SHOCKED that those people are hopelessly in love. No...
It isn't fair. Really truly, for those of us that work hard to better ourselves and are passionate and educated, and to have to subcome to loneliness, it isnt fair.
For those of us that have been fortunate enough to know love, only to have lost it, have it taken away from us...it just isnt fair.
There is no guide to how to properly grieve, how to move on after you've lost the love of your life. I guess thats just something they'll choose to ignore
So as I look at my two dear best friends, hopelessly, endlessly and stupidly in love, I can't help but smile and be happy for them.
For although I am told I'm far brighter than so many from my youth, I can't help but admit, that I'd give all my brains, all my beauty, just to have someone hold me.
Jun 12, 2017
Jun 12, 2017 at 7:58 AM UTC
Let it be known that every second of the day my heart was visibly displayed on my sleeve waiting for someone to fall in love with it
That I loved eating bowls of Oreos like they were cereal, and dark chocolate in the late hours of the night
That my addictions were makeup, music, coffee and clothes, and on occasion a really good ******* book
That at work everyone could hear my laugh and voice from across the store, even with metal doors sealed shut
That my love for John Mayer was, and will be, infinite
That even though I had no clue what the hell I was doing with my life I still wanted to do everything all at once, and wished there was some way we could all live to be 200 years old so even if we were old and wrinkly and going deaf we could still be a dancer, or an astronaut
Tell everyone how I love staying up late at night and reading juicy stories, and tales, but how I HATED mornings
That my favorite drink was iced coffee with extra soy milk and tons of cinnamon sprinkled on top, and how I could eat an entire chocolate lovers cake by myself and not feel guilty
Tell them that everyday I was hopeful to find my soul mate
I want you to tell them stories about me so everyone can laugh at the silly, and straight up dumb **** I use to do or say
Like the time I threw a rock in the air and it came crashing down on me and that my screams could raise the dead and how everyone thought a ******* bee stung me but I was really being a three year old and throwing rocks around
Tell them the time I lost 20 dollars in the second grade and was too shy to ask for help
Or the time when I was 2 years old and I broke the TV by spraying to much windex on it cause I was helping my mom clean
Tell them all the stories of the shenanigans I use to get into, but most importantly..
Tell them about the time I fell in love with a girl but was too afraid to say anything
Tell them I still think about my first love, and how everyday I wish to talk to him
Tell them about the time I stayed up late at night searching for ways to cure myself because I didn't want to be a disappointment
Tell them about how I stayed up one night praying I would be able to have children of my own, even if no one would love me
Tell them about all the times my heart was broken
or when I felt alone
or abandoned
or forgotten
Tell them that I loved my friends way more than the normal dosage of affection you should give your best friends, but they still loved it
And if all of this is meaningless and I die at a ripe old age let it be known that I lived every day, as If I were to die tomorrow
And if tomorrow were my last day let them know
I loved living life
Jul 2, 2016
Jul 2, 2016 at 5:23 AM UTC
You bring back memories of a time when I watched his hands grace over the keys
Becoming jealous because he spent more time touching you instead of me
Clair de Lune he played you from beginning to end with no accompaniment from anyone
Finishing with satisfaction
Pianissimo was how he made love to both of us
I honestly hated sharing you with him
But I never lost his trust
I never saw past your scheme
The plan you had brewing for both of us
Oh Clair de Lune I thank you now
I learned he loved playing you because he loved when I watched him
He was passionate to you only to get me excited
Our foreplay
Our aphrodisiac
Clair de Lune
Thank you
Nov 11, 2015
Nov 11, 2015 at 12:01 AM UTC
Can you please stop touching my stretch marks
or the new ones that form whenever I lose or gain a pound
Stop telling me my ******* are too small
and that I should save up all my money to get them done bigger
That my ***** is so round that I knock everything over when I walk
or that my belly is A ******* BELLY
Can you please stop telling me that I need to constantly wax all the hairs from my face because once someone sees a little whisker on my upper lip I'm suddenly Sasquatch, and no guy wants to be with someone like that
Can you please stop telling me that I can never ever wear nice clothes skinner girls wear, and that looks matter all the time
Please don't tell me about how I should fall in love because last time I checked race, or age, or height, or weight, or money hasn't been proven to cause eternal happiness
Can you please stop telling me that whenever I try something new, that everyones laughing at me
Because I know they are
I've always known
You can't stop people from making fun of others
You can't stop them from gossiping, calling someone fat, or ugly or whatever they may be thinking
But you CAN stop yourself
Somedays I just wanna hear how good I look in that dress because it took me 20 minutes to leave the house after I was already late for class because I was so worried my arms were too fat
Or that the really handsome and smart athletic guy IS interested in someone like me because of how much I shine because of my soul
Can you please tell me that you can at least try to see the beauty in me
Because if you can't, and I can't, who ever will?
Nov 4, 2015
Nov 4, 2015 at 12:47 AM UTC
It's kind of like chewing strawberry bubble gum for the first time
And the kisses are always so tasty and tender and sweet
Her skin is as soft as yours
Her curves remind you of ocean waves hitting your body
Long hair cascading down her back as it tangles up with yours
Two ******* suddenly become four
Two Goddesses become one
Nov 4, 2015
Nov 4, 2015 at 12:24 AM UTC
Her names such a sweet thing
She's kinda ***** but innocent
Her skirts are short but always has shorts underneath
She wants the night to take her body, but
Her heart longs for a church boy she met when she was 7
She's scared of *** but wants to make love
Her first love was five years older, he had a harley and smoked marlboros
She played piano and said grace before dinner
Her mom hasn't seen that moon tattoo on her back, her dad thinks she goes off to study literature at the library
She meets with Dan her Harley boy and they kiss on old route 69
Her hearts beating fast
Her thoughts start to blur
Her first time
Her church boy
Her piano recital
Her moon tattoo
Her mouth on his Marlboros
Her back is arching
Her heart it racing
Her body is shaking
Her mommas mistaken
Her daddys forsaken
Her grace is being taken
Her heart keeps on racing
Oh!
She's only 17
Oh, but her names such a sweet thing
Oct 28, 2015
Oct 28, 2015 at 3:42 AM UTC
In a dark mind enclosed by his own morbid thoughts lied a man I feel in love with , not because he could rule with an iron fist and terrify whoever he chose , but a man with a sensitive soul wanting to be loved and to love. His own ways of affection were light, gentle pats on my back, a stroke of my cheek, and helding of my hands as we layed down as couples do. I asked him once why he didnt grasp me when we were alone, caress me more in our private meets and he said his world is full of death and macabre that he didnt want to taint the only light of his life. So I held him more. I caressed him as we were one, I would whisper sweet nothings into his ears and reassure him that springs ends soon, and that I would return to my true home. My dark knight, he shines so bright in my eyes, no one could ever love him the way I do. No one.
Sep 2, 2015
Sep 2, 2015 at 3:36 AM UTC
It was a long time ago. But thats when I started getting feelings for him. And they were just tiny ones. Like the way he smiled or laughed or just spoke but now its just the way he is that amazes me. I love his mind. How he thinks. We're both two different people with opposite thoughts and i know i dont know everything there is to what he knows but it works. I feel like we fit each other like a puzzle that neither of us knows we're making. It sounds so poetic but sometimes you can't help who you fall for.
Aug 30, 2015
Aug 30, 2015 at 1:48 AM UTC