sometimes i feel so broken,
i mean all the time
why did i leave you when i knew you were mine
we had it so good
we were so in love
our bodies went forward while my mind went above
i lost it and it left
and i had never felt so unkempt -
you were so beautiful and i was a mess.
i see you in my dreams i see you when i am awake
please ******* help me i can't stop this shake
that is caused by the memory of you
the memory of us - am i putting up too much fuss
over a time that was short
or am i just managing to distort
of how long we lasted
and what we were
i'm sorry i couldn't be as good as her
sometimes i feel so broken
i mean all the time
it was all my fault when i lost you -
you could've been mine
Jan 5, 2017
Jan 5, 2017 at 1:30 AM UTC
i have found that being in love
is not a journey - it is a fight
e.knocks
Dec 30, 2016
Dec 30, 2016 at 2:12 PM UTC
i had the universe in my hands
but i dropped it because you are my universe
do you understand?
e.knocks
Dec 27, 2016
Dec 27, 2016 at 8:34 PM UTC
it's the winter
and my fingertips are cold
my eyes are tired
and my bones feel old
it's getting harder to stay
even though you are here
follow me close
i may disappear
i dream about you
all the time
i dream about you
are you mine?
drinking again
has opened my mind
i forget things
but i won't leave you behind
every sip of alcohol
that i take
burns my throat
and i start to ache
i dream about you
when i drink
for you, my love,
i will not sink
e.knocks
Dec 27, 2016
Dec 27, 2016 at 5:02 PM UTC
i always said that loving two people at once does not exist
until recently
as i have fallen
twice
e.knocks
Dec 18, 2016
Dec 18, 2016 at 8:58 PM UTC
your sad eyes told a story that the words that came out of your mouth could never explain.
all you had in your life was the self-hatred and blame.
your eyes never looked ahead, and were always set on the ground.
your heart beat so quietly but your eyes spoke so loud.
and when you did try to reach out,
all you got was a stern look and someone walking away while their head shook.
your pale, scarred skin explained the self-inflicted,
rhythmic gashes on your body that mimicked the happiness you've always lacked.
and when your father found out about these marks on your skin,
all that you received was a meaningful smack.
you stayed up late and barely slept so the demons that came out at night would never attack.
and all the sleepless nights and frightful fights you had with yourself
caused you to become a major insomniac.
your shaky hands explained the uneasiness you've suffered through your whole life
while you nervously handled your father's rusty old knife.
you never took yourself as one who would be such a letdown.
but when you looked down at your hands,
all you could do was frown and let out a whimper.
you never spoke too loud and always had to whisper.
your hands shook everyday no matter what you had to do.
your knuckles poked out like nails on wood while being abused
by the hammer that repeatedly hit you.
and your bony knees shivered vigorously throughout the long, dark, winter of every year.
all that Christmas brought you was a joyless night full of tears.
your mother passed away 4 years ago to this day.
and all you could do was hide from your drunken father and pray and pray.
his safety mattered and so did yours,
but just being alive for him started to feel like a chore.
and oh god, your whole body was so pale and used.
your fragile bones could barely make it through all those rough hours and days,
and **** it, all those years since the beginning when your only
friend had disappeared.
e.knocks
Nov 21, 2016
Nov 21, 2016 at 7:22 PM UTC
you were so young, and she was too.
neither of you knew what death felt like but would understand soon.
you used to play together when you felt that you were alone.
she was there for you, she was your backbone.
you were her sunshine when she had those rainy days,
you brought out her beautiful personality when she was feeling gray.
you beamed off each other like the two stars in the sky.
life was a dream, neither of you expected her to die.
she passed away only 7 years ago.
you did not understand at first, but your heart felt like it had no home.
your best friend had disappeared and never came back.
now because she is gone, your happiness is at a lack.
you still see her sometimes in your dreams,
or when you close your eyes just to breathe.
you can imagine running down the hallway beside her, you and your best friend.
you made a promise to stay together until the world came to an end.
her funeral was as dark as the midnight sky,-
your mother comforted you but all you could do was cry.
your tears ran parallel to the raindrops outside.
your father told you to stand up tall and so you tried and you tried and tried.
but the sorrow that had been dropped on your shoulders was weighing you down.
all that was left of you was the recurring feeling of dread and a permanent frown.
for the next week the teacher watched you because you did not accept what had happened before; you stared blankly at the ceiling and then at the floor.
your eyes became paler with each day, but you did not want it to show.
the teacher finally realized after two weeks and you were sent home.
she did not follow you, but her memory was haunting.
every breath you took and action you made was taunting.
you wanted to move on but could not forget;
it is seven years later and thinking of her is a threat
to your well being and your mental state
all you can think about is what went wrong and how you were too late.
you believe it is your fault, but it is not.
it is simply life, your memories will rot.
e.knocks
Nov 21, 2016
Nov 21, 2016 at 6:41 PM UTC