Beneath the canopy of darkness
And the yellow of the street lamps.
We walk at the pace of a traveler
With no map or destination.
We journey down the sidewalk with
Goosebumps on our skin,
And a dimmed fire in our hearts,
The small distance between us
Being the only warmth
Against the harsh winter air.
You point your nose towards the sky
And let out a little laugh--
A little cloud escapes into the night--
And mesmerized, I find myself smiling
And when i look up, I swear I can see
The stars smiling too.
And as I watch the movement of your lips,
And as I listen to the sound of your voice,
I decide that the late winter nights
Are most beautiful
As long as they’re with you
May 10, 2020
May 10, 2020 at 2:30 AM UTC
In a crowd of a thousand
You are the one
My eyes find first.
When the lights are dimmed
To me, you shine
No differently from a star
In the buzzing of a crowd
Your voice rings
And I turn to find you
And even when you're distracted
You make me stop and notice
But to you,
I'm just another face
Another dimmed out soul
Another voice
That adds to the buzzing
But I cant help but hope
That one day
When I'm not noticing
You'll look around
And search for me.
May 10, 2020
May 10, 2020 at 2:25 AM UTC
i never believed it whenever someone
would describe me using the word beautiful.
it never rung right
it was always as though
the word could never naturally roll off someone’s tongue
with me on their mind.
i remember where it began:
when I was told I wasn’t worthy
and that I am everything
nobody wants.
but I hope you’d be proud to hear
that I never fell,
i just learned to walk through silence
thinking that no words
could ever shatter the quiet.
and then you came
and through the thick walls,
i heard a slight echo of your voice.
and although it was hard to hear at first
i hear it a little clearly every time you say it:
beautiful.
i’m still in the emptiness
trying to find my way out
but there’s comfort in hearing your voice,
there’s comfort knowing
that you’re here
try to lead me out of this silence.
Mar 9, 2020
Mar 9, 2020 at 4:04 PM UTC
i thought that was the last.
i was sure that i would never feel what it’s like
to have you hold me close to you ever again.
i thought that our kiss under the bare trees
and winter sky was our last.
and for a moment,
i desperately tried running back
to feel it just once more.
one more kiss.
one more moment when your fingers intertwine through mine.
one more moment when you held me close.
so when you wrapped your arms around me
and ran your fingers through my hair,
when i felt your hand pull me back
and you smiled at me
before planting a kiss on my lips
after what felt like an eternity
of chasing the past,
i found my world moving forward once again.
i no longer needed to mourn for the past,
you are still here in my present,
and in my future,
which is full of moments
just waiting for us to live them.
Mar 9, 2020
Mar 9, 2020 at 3:59 PM UTC
there are four steps
of thin ice
between you and me.
1
it’s okay if you’re unsure.
i don’t mind if you’re still trying
to understand the rhythm of your heart
over the rationality in your mind.
i can wait as long as it takes
because I also know the complexity
of loving someone.
i understand the risks and the doubts
that come with
choosing to love someone.
2
all I want is your happiness
and if this thin sheet of ice isn’t enough
to hold both of us,
i don’t mind falling through
if it means keeping you afloat.
i would rather sink into the cold, dark
than to watch you struggle.
i don’t mind letting go
and breaking the ice from under me.
i want to see you happy
even if it means I won’t be the person to reach you.
3
another step forward will be my end.
there’s no path for me to walk back.
i will wait here, until you’re ready
to reach out and close the final step.
and even if the ice may break from under me
i will wait.
i will love you cautiously.
and with this distance between us,
i will choose
again and again
to give this heart to you.
Feb 1, 2020
Feb 1, 2020 at 3:09 PM UTC
I’m always trying to outrun the demons.
They take the form of you leaving
And they keep me awake by whispering
About a future without you.
But sometimes I wonder what would happen
If we ever outrun them.
Maybe one day,
I will wake up to the sunshine peeking through
My sheer, white curtains on a saturday morning
And the weight I carry will no longer be
The possibilities of you leaving
But the weight of your arm resting across my body.
Maybe one morning,
I’ll be lucky enough to be the one who awakens
Next to your sleeping face
And I’ll watch as the sun tickles your skin
And your eyelids flutter as you rest.
Maybe I’ll be able to reach out and run my fingers
Along the side of your face and when you
Don’t disappear before my eyes,
I’ll take in a shaking breath of disbelief
That we actually made it.
Maybe.
Dec 16, 2019
Dec 16, 2019 at 10:44 PM UTC
Once more.
Press your lips against mine
And let us allow time to take a rest
As the reds and greens of the traffic lights
Caress our cheeks while we pass silently in the night.
I’ll let you take my hand in one of yours
And I’ll let you hold my heart in the other.
Breathless. Light. Euphoric.
I am drowning in the taste of you.
And I can't help but find myself
Eagerly waiting for a once more.
Nov 20, 2019
Nov 20, 2019 at 1:58 AM UTC
I won’t ask you to buy me roses
Or pay for my meals.
I don’t ask that you only look my way
Even if I’m only looking yours.
No need to sing me to sleep
Or kiss me in the morning.
But I will choose to
Climb to the treetops
So I can reach out and
collect the stars for you—
Take them all, they glow more in your arms.
Don’t fret my problems
I didn’t fall in love you to have you share
The weight of my anxieties and insecurities.
You can even leave.
If you told me you wanted something more
Than the stars that I pick for you,
I would climb towards the night sky once more,
Pick out the finest in the sky,
And place them into the palm of your hands
Hoping that I can leave you with something
That you can take with you before you leave.
I love you so much that I would never burden you
With my cries asking you to stay.
I will love you in my silence hoping
That you can walk straight with the weight
Of what you never had to carry.
And even if I am one day left in the darkness
Of my starless sky,
I will still love you in all my emptiness.
So for now, all I ask is
Please, let me love you now.
Nov 20, 2019
Nov 20, 2019 at 1:44 AM UTC
Bring it back.
Return to me the time I spent with you on my mind.
Gather up the seconds I spent with you,
Go back to find the laughter,
The stolen glances, and
The feelings we shared.
No need to wrap or tie them neatly,
Just bring them back.
Let me hold them in my hands one last time
Before I toss them to the flames.
Before I loosen my grasp
And let the poetry I wrote for you
Be carried away by the winds.
Let me look at you one more time.
Let me smile at you one more time.
Let you see the love for you in my eyes
Once more. No more.
I will turn my back to you leaving ashes and scattered poetry.
You will watch me leave before turning your way as well.
And with our futures in our hands,
And our paths clear of each other,
Let us run so fast that we have no time to look back.
Sep 28, 2019
Sep 28, 2019 at 3:38 AM UTC
you make me wish
i could stretch the seconds flat
so that my time with you can last forever.
we don’t know if we’ll still
hold each other close every morning
or have each other to lean on
years from now.
years
a year
weeks
a second
we might last forever
or we might become memories we ponder
when we reach a forever without each other.
but i will try
i will try to grasp your hand
as tightly as i can
as we approach the time ahead.
and even though we might not have a lifetime,
let us try to make it through what time has in store.
and if we don’t end together
i pray that we can still glance at each other
from miles apart and still smile
at something that made
us dream about the slightest possibility
of a forever.
Sep 7, 2019
Sep 7, 2019 at 2:55 AM UTC