My #2
Consistently
Even two years ago before I ever started flirting and you wouldn't take a ******* hint
I will forever be grateful to you for staying up with me on a call until I passed out to make sure I wouldn't hurt myself in the middle of the night
And always dropping other things to play **** games with me because they made me happy
And listening to me rant about animal (especially bug) mating habits
And how everything ******
And gaming
And halo reach
I swear to god the stars haven't looked the same
I enjoy everything so much more (given I do have more freedom now that I moved in with mom)
I named at least four different animals after you but this last one, ale eggs, lost his family and I'm just hoping you don't succumb to the same fate
I know you got jealous about tanner and angry about Eric since he threatened me with the thing I'm most afraid of after needles and you know it and he knows it
If you took a ******* hint both of us would have been happier sooner
And now thanks to my selfish ***** needs it might all fall apart just when I'm close enough to meet you and it's killing me
I have been waiting years to hug you it would **** me if you decided you didn't want me now
I'll never love anyone so much I remember so much about them
I'm sorry I was a selfish ***** ****** please forgive
Mar 6, 2016
Mar 6, 2016 at 8:44 AM UTC
Minecraft calls
And gta parties
Horrible races
Repetitive insanity
Midnight laughter fits
Midnight promises of forever
Midday I love you's
3 o'clock it'll be okay
Daily please don't hurt yourself
Weekend need
Constant no interest in what I look like
Even if we were on video calls constantly
Sentence finishing
Food envy
Parent envy (at least you had one good one)
Horrible cry-fests
Constant panic spamming
Insane laughter with horrible puns
i'm done with references
Why are you ignoring me
You are the love of my life
Sep 28, 2015
Sep 28, 2015 at 6:48 PM UTC
you're not even going to start smoking for a good reason
I feel less stressed out when I'm in pain
the smoking doesn't cause direct pain
I'll put it out on my arm
that'll scar
I'm not sure if I care. I might finally be able to balance the scar count
is your ocd that bad?
No
then why the balance
I feel better that way
you won't feel better when you have throat cancer
Eh maybe
please don't do this to yourself
I can at least try not to. No promises
fine
Sep 28, 2015
Sep 28, 2015 at 11:37 AM UTC
The hour a day we spent together in the back seat of the bus was all I needed to stay sane
It killed the anxiety of going home
Your head in my lap and my hands in your hair
And your blue eyes
Your quiet singing when a song you knew came on
Or loud singing when wrecking ball came on
Or your getting up when you were getting in an argument
And the hugs when I was getting off
And the neck nibbles
All helped me want to die less
You kept me on the edge for 9 months
When I could have been over it
I was a little addicted
Now I realize
You're being a brat about me not being around anymore
You're mad because you don't get the king of body heat by your side
Or the constant affection
Or overwhelming patience
Or feeling like someone needs you for something other than cigarettes
I'm sorry I had to want to die less
Sep 28, 2015
Sep 28, 2015 at 6:44 AM UTC
If I could teach you anything
It would be to draw
Or write poetry
Turn your thoughts and feelings into art
Make someone feel something
Someone other than me at least
You don't know how to handle your emotions any better than I do
There are no likable qualities you have other than overwhelming body heat
And you've done something horrible recently
You won't tell me
But I can tell by the way you react
You're more angry with you than anyone else is
I'm so sorry sweetie
You deserve it
Sep 27, 2015
Sep 27, 2015 at 9:05 PM UTC
If I were God
My hands wouldn't be big enough to catch all prayers
But my heart would be a reverse black hole of love
If I were God
I would immediately strike down anyone who hurt animals for fun
Or anyone who ***** anyone
Or killed anyone
If I was God
There would be no sin
No greedy people
Because everything would be fine
Lust isn't a sin
Maybe if I were God
Everything would be more peaceful
I just want everything to be happy
Even if I'm not
Sep 25, 2015
Sep 25, 2015 at 9:01 PM UTC
and I have to wonder
If you meant
What you said
Or if they were just
hickeys
Sweet at first
But made to leave bruises
Sep 14, 2015
Sep 14, 2015 at 8:19 PM UTC
Gray skies and wonderful icy blue eyes
The trees are turning red and yellow and perfect orange hair
The bears and I are fattening up for winter
I've been eating almost constantly for the past week
I wonder if it's anxiety about being forced to do things almost always
Or knowing that I've never be an entemologist
Or knowing that I'll never be a mom because I'm incredibly unlovable
But I do know that right now
Is absolutely not the worst part of my life
That's passed (probably)
Sep 14, 2015
Sep 14, 2015 at 2:37 PM UTC
I wish we could reach the same page
But it's like I'm an encyclopedia
And you're the hunger games
I'm writing my emotions to life
And you're screaming at cars and smoking cigarettes
I know it'll never be like it used to be
I just wish you would go back to ignoring me, at least
Sep 13, 2015
Sep 13, 2015 at 11:56 AM UTC
My heart is so big
But I would have to pack it with bubble wrap with how much you care
To fill the emptiness
The plastic cuts will hurt
But it's worth it to have something of you with me
Like a sweatshirt for my heart
Sep 12, 2015
Sep 12, 2015 at 4:09 PM UTC