ekaterina-pietsch - Hello Poetry

Expressionless she didn't feel the need to greet me or to look in my direction just let the high pitched beeping of the scanner fill the emptiness and motivate her mechanic movements packing the produce into red plastic bags unflinching impatience was evident and yet she remained expressionless as I foolishly pressed the wrong button under the weight of her gaze on my stiff fingers until she printed the receipt Just then in the clear plastic bag one jalapeño the special - pound for two dollars just then she catches it and under my watchful gaze I hear that beep again but now a quiet chuckle fills the gap as the machine reads 0.01$ So I laugh too fumble for a cent and put it carefully in her palm

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Sep 26, 2016

Sep 26, 2016 at 1:25 AM UTC

An Ode to the Free Market

Expressionless she didn't feel the need to greet me or to look in my direction just let the high pitched beeping of the scanner fill the emptiness and motivate her mechanic movements packing the produce into red plastic bags unflinching impatience was evident and yet she remained expressionless as I foolishly pressed the wrong button under the weight of her gaze on my stiff fingers until she printed the receipt Just then in the clear plastic bag one jalapeño the special - pound for two dollars just then she catches it and under my watchful gaze I hear that beep again but now a quiet chuckle fills the gap as the machine reads 0.01$ So I laugh too fumble for a cent and put it carefully in her palm

35

The colors of your shirt stick to your skin Swollen, tired, tattered The dirt collecting Under, Over, On In the stillness of the new moon You became a mother A wife A daughter Through the thickness of the humid air the sweat collected on your brow the nape of your neck A crying child A barking dog Some butter on a scalding skillet Oh, Marisol! If your hands could speak The scars and lines would serenade the sun and soothe your cousin's swollen cheeks the gold in your teeth would shine each time you smiled and said goodbye but your chestnut hair is whipped by the wind instead and laced black leather boots tower over you in the haze they grasp your arms as if they are their own and cover you in white to protect themselves Oh Marisol! it is now late at night but you shine for the love you brought with you across six nations all of them packed and stacked neatly you carry them strapped on your back like the sun kissed streets of Cuenca cultivated, preened, and compressed put into the back pocket It is in dusk when you lay your head Down on that cold, dry, earth And grasp that plastic bottle to your breast Closed eyes and memories of sunrise 20 miles away from the southwest America rises still beyond Fences lined with flowers pale As white and rich as all those men But towers over you of course and in the shadows of the Joshua trees You can depart for home again

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Sep 21, 2016

Sep 21, 2016 at 9:38 PM UTC

N31* 44' 55", W111* 12' 24"

The colors of your shirt stick to your skin Swollen, tired, tattered The dirt collecting Under, Over, On In the stillness of the new moon You became a mother A wife A daughter Through the thickness of the humid air the sweat collected on your brow the nape of your neck A crying child A barking dog Some butter on a scalding skillet Oh, Marisol! If your hands could speak The scars and lines would serenade the sun and soothe your cousin's swollen cheeks the gold in your teeth would shine each time you smiled and said goodbye but your chestnut hair is whipped by the wind instead and laced black leather boots tower over you in the haze they grasp your arms as if they are their own and cover you in white to protect themselves Oh Marisol! it is now late at night but you shine for the love you brought with you across six nations all of them packed and stacked neatly you carry them strapped on your back like the sun kissed streets of Cuenca cultivated, preened, and compressed put into the back pocket It is in dusk when you lay your head Down on that cold, dry, earth And grasp that plastic bottle to your breast Closed eyes and memories of sunrise 20 miles away from the southwest America rises still beyond Fences lined with flowers pale As white and rich as all those men But towers over you of course and in the shadows of the Joshua trees You can depart for home again

54

Water flows In places which pardon Ziploc bags full of apologies Floating upriver Downstream Under bridges The ocean swells Like the cold midnight air Entering a pair of lungs So I take Another breath

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Sep 8, 2016

Sep 8, 2016 at 11:24 PM UTC

Water

Water flows In places which pardon Ziploc bags full of apologies Floating upriver Downstream Under bridges The ocean swells Like the cold midnight air Entering a pair of lungs So I take Another breath

11

The lab tech tells me I have a nice set of veins healthy and strong perfect for needlework hidden just enough visible in all the right places I turn to the cork board when it goes in like i've done my entire life and i'm not scared of needles or shots or blood or alcohol but in the milliseconds between her skillful hands switching the vials I imagine the thin plastic tube spilling me all over the nice tile floor with no time left for antiseptic or bleach I hear the click and I think instead of Peter smelling of ***** only in that thin jean jacket and a turtle neck holding out his hand and walking me out of that lab on to the iced over sidewalks through the frigid bustle of morning traffic into the corner store for my favorite sweets because I held silent when the other kids cried because I was brave Because my veins were fragile and small and the universe owed me one

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Aug 18, 2016

Aug 18, 2016 at 12:05 AM UTC

Veins

The lab tech tells me I have a nice set of veins healthy and strong perfect for needlework hidden just enough visible in all the right places I turn to the cork board when it goes in like i've done my entire life and i'm not scared of needles or shots or blood or alcohol but in the milliseconds between her skillful hands switching the vials I imagine the thin plastic tube spilling me all over the nice tile floor with no time left for antiseptic or bleach I hear the click and I think instead of Peter smelling of ***** only in that thin jean jacket and a turtle neck holding out his hand and walking me out of that lab on to the iced over sidewalks through the frigid bustle of morning traffic into the corner store for my favorite sweets because I held silent when the other kids cried because I was brave Because my veins were fragile and small and the universe owed me one

38

There were so many dead wasps on your kitchen counter You thought they were bees insisted it was okay But I knew Like I know You Like I still dream Of getting stung Or of feeling an airbag on my cheek Metal twisting into my body A Rubik's cube of proof It was too much for You to carry But enough for You To plunder To damage To chain You You You You I syphon poison out of my body Drop by drop Every morning noon evening and night Ripping myself open Jagged scars Screaming for mercy Face whiter Voice failing I cry Again again again But I know Finally, dear god, I know I Have to let it bleed To let my hair grow To scream and pull those talons out With my own hands To soak them in seawater To cover them In the honeyed voice of my grandmother In the sounds of the train station and the rails Like I did With you On top of me Or beneath me Or like you Are Still inside of me I Do not hold I Do not cherish I am cloaked in silence you slept through the alarm

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Jun 27, 2016

Jun 27, 2016 at 1:04 AM UTC

V

There were so many dead wasps on your kitchen counter You thought they were bees insisted it was okay But I knew Like I know You Like I still dream Of getting stung Or of feeling an airbag on my cheek Metal twisting into my body A Rubik's cube of proof It was too much for You to carry But enough for You To plunder To damage To chain You You You You I syphon poison out of my body Drop by drop Every morning noon evening and night Ripping myself open Jagged scars Screaming for mercy Face whiter Voice failing I cry Again again again But I know Finally, dear god, I know I Have to let it bleed To let my hair grow To scream and pull those talons out With my own hands To soak them in seawater To cover them In the honeyed voice of my grandmother In the sounds of the train station and the rails Like I did With you On top of me Or beneath me Or like you Are Still inside of me I Do not hold I Do not cherish I am cloaked in silence you slept through the alarm

62

The dirt under your fingernails Found its way on me Yet again In the form of indents on my skin This time Red with rage And blue with agony Golden in the bar light Silver in the street I wanted For so long To cry, to wail, to break Again Like I did on New Years Eve Four years running On the mornings when Another's arms weighed too heavily Or those nights when Telling you to stop Would've hurt your precious feelings Hand on my drink An anchor A car wreck Like the countless ones you could have Killed me in I witnessed fear Walk out of the shadows And pull up a seat Right next to me Sipping on a cabernet This time however, It stopped at one Paid the tab And took me by the hand Kissed my forehead Held my face Everything will be alright Carried me over the threshold You Always you Glued to your pedestal Hands on your beer Or your cigarette Or your limp **** Or on me Scathing Berating Mocking Baiting Manipulating Seconds Minutes Hours Days Silently screaming again again again again why why why why stop stop stop stop monster monster monster monster Clawing your way after me Shedding your skin Nowhere to hide Reaching reaching reaching reaching Branding me a ******* Liar Selfish Cold Unfaithful Intense Callous Insane Monster Takes one to know one

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Jun 27, 2016

Jun 27, 2016 at 12:45 AM UTC

IV

The dirt under your fingernails Found its way on me Yet again In the form of indents on my skin This time Red with rage And blue with agony Golden in the bar light Silver in the street I wanted For so long To cry, to wail, to break Again Like I did on New Years Eve Four years running On the mornings when Another's arms weighed too heavily Or those nights when Telling you to stop Would've hurt your precious feelings Hand on my drink An anchor A car wreck Like the countless ones you could have Killed me in I witnessed fear Walk out of the shadows And pull up a seat Right next to me Sipping on a cabernet This time however, It stopped at one Paid the tab And took me by the hand Kissed my forehead Held my face Everything will be alright Carried me over the threshold You Always you Glued to your pedestal Hands on your beer Or your cigarette Or your limp **** Or on me Scathing Berating Mocking Baiting Manipulating Seconds Minutes Hours Days Silently screaming again again again again why why why why stop stop stop stop monster monster monster monster Clawing your way after me Shedding your skin Nowhere to hide Reaching reaching reaching reaching Branding me a ******* Liar Selfish Cold Unfaithful Intense Callous Insane Monster Takes one to know one

76

You stole my May for your December Brought it to its knees And sang to it in the twilight With one hand raised towards the horizon The other on the handle of a knife You gently tossed it in a cell Swallowed the key Confessed your sins Those very palms clasped together Clasped so tight So, so, so, tight Over my wrists Under my skin The bruise crept quietly beneath It starved for years and years Until A match was lit Thrown Inside Flames licked the walls While you held yourself Reminiscing Smiling Wistfully Closing the door behind you You sold it to the highest bidder And petitioned for compassion The flowers wilt, the snow has set Eyes glued forward Shoes scuffing the floor It does not hold It does not speak but it does whisper 'It's all just a big misunderstanding'

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Jun 27, 2016

Jun 27, 2016 at 12:24 AM UTC

III

You stole my May for your December Brought it to its knees And sang to it in the twilight With one hand raised towards the horizon The other on the handle of a knife You gently tossed it in a cell Swallowed the key Confessed your sins Those very palms clasped together Clasped so tight So, so, so, tight Over my wrists Under my skin The bruise crept quietly beneath It starved for years and years Until A match was lit Thrown Inside Flames licked the walls While you held yourself Reminiscing Smiling Wistfully Closing the door behind you You sold it to the highest bidder And petitioned for compassion The flowers wilt, the snow has set Eyes glued forward Shoes scuffing the floor It does not hold It does not speak but it does whisper 'It's all just a big misunderstanding'

35

There You stand at my door Banging on the screen Same rhythm as your fists On the front Two months back I kept telling you to leave But you put your phone to the eye And it said "This is just a misunderstanding" I know I know It's all just a misunderstanding It always was Always will be I want to pour gasoline and watch it Drip down the screen The sound the door makes When it hesitates to close Mimicking the rattle of a snake Or the rainstorm of maracas My stomach dropping You tearing through that screen Reaching for the door **** I run to the back But there you are Behind the glass In front of me Reaching for my neck I clasp my eyes shut Please dear Be quick

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Jun 5, 2016

Jun 5, 2016 at 10:42 PM UTC

II

There You stand at my door Banging on the screen Same rhythm as your fists On the front Two months back I kept telling you to leave But you put your phone to the eye And it said "This is just a misunderstanding" I know I know It's all just a misunderstanding It always was Always will be I want to pour gasoline and watch it Drip down the screen The sound the door makes When it hesitates to close Mimicking the rattle of a snake Or the rainstorm of maracas My stomach dropping You tearing through that screen Reaching for the door **** I run to the back But there you are Behind the glass In front of me Reaching for my neck I clasp my eyes shut Please dear Be quick

32

What trembles besides my knees? Do my feet hang off the bed on the right side or Does my face just continue to dry until It flakes skin Until I am nothing but dust It's just hysterical that this which is tearing and sowing breaks me so so gently it bores me to death in the first five minutes and I wait and wait and wait for those imprints to turn yellow and then to blue and eventually disappear under the guise of smoke and quiet resentment or another's palm grasping at my ankles spilt mother's milk cracks in the floorboards cherry lozenge cracking under tongue Knuckles stiffen and clumps of hair stick to the shower walls My thighs fill with cracks angry and red running up but suddenly stopping at my most precious commodity the price to my body's worth it tears tags off of old mattresses and sits in bath water too hot runs and breathes life into a humid motel room I receive my checks in the mail signed with red ink and no return address

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May 18, 2016

May 18, 2016 at 12:54 AM UTC

In situ

What trembles besides my knees? Do my feet hang off the bed on the right side or Does my face just continue to dry until It flakes skin Until I am nothing but dust It's just hysterical that this which is tearing and sowing breaks me so so gently it bores me to death in the first five minutes and I wait and wait and wait for those imprints to turn yellow and then to blue and eventually disappear under the guise of smoke and quiet resentment or another's palm grasping at my ankles spilt mother's milk cracks in the floorboards cherry lozenge cracking under tongue Knuckles stiffen and clumps of hair stick to the shower walls My thighs fill with cracks angry and red running up but suddenly stopping at my most precious commodity the price to my body's worth it tears tags off of old mattresses and sits in bath water too hot runs and breathes life into a humid motel room I receive my checks in the mail signed with red ink and no return address

25

I laugh indoors Like the sound of lullabies on Saturday night Drowning in liquor Seeping into my eardrums Leaking through the bedsheets I hold my breast in one hand And my eyes in the other Trying to maneuver the small talk I had wanted to abandon Over dinner Last week, or Was it last month? Maybe a year back. It all comes crashing down I swore to you that I was honest That I did not need more than my daily bread You pour wine down my throat And grab my wrist as you twist my words So I go up those stairs And out of your life And I hold my breath So one day you won't have to I was born and thrown into the deep end Ankles twisting and cork heels breaking Mascara running Lipstick smears on your collar Fear manifesting within the buttons on my shirt As you pop each one onto the floor To sleep perchance To be awake It isn't long until my back is in the grass And my knees are red From trying to grasp the need for all of it Leave it be I'm 15 and you're all but a fever dream.

0

May 8, 2016

May 8, 2016 at 9:48 PM UTC

Crease

I laugh indoors Like the sound of lullabies on Saturday night Drowning in liquor Seeping into my eardrums Leaking through the bedsheets I hold my breast in one hand And my eyes in the other Trying to maneuver the small talk I had wanted to abandon Over dinner Last week, or Was it last month? Maybe a year back. It all comes crashing down I swore to you that I was honest That I did not need more than my daily bread You pour wine down my throat And grab my wrist as you twist my words So I go up those stairs And out of your life And I hold my breath So one day you won't have to I was born and thrown into the deep end Ankles twisting and cork heels breaking Mascara running Lipstick smears on your collar Fear manifesting within the buttons on my shirt As you pop each one onto the floor To sleep perchance To be awake It isn't long until my back is in the grass And my knees are red From trying to grasp the need for all of it Leave it be I'm 15 and you're all but a fever dream.

34